well, today will be another photo heavy post. i hope everyone is fat & happy after the big day. we've gorged ourselves & ripped open those carefully chosen gifts & now it is time to take inventory- right? the hughes christmas was a kinder, gentler affair again this year. the excesses of years past have moved aside to make way for less conspicuous consumption. highlights this year included gigi (as we call my mother) receiving a diamond from dad. she never had an engagement ring- she said they didn't have a lot of money & it just wasn't "practical" (i am sadly not familiar with that word- at least not when i want something!). as she said, it only took her 59 years (they were married 12.30.1950). interestingly enough, when my father bought the ring for my mother, he also decided that after all this time, he wanted a wedding band, so he bought himself a wedding band. which actually isn't a bad idea, if you are familiar the demographics of the over 85 crowd- men are at a premium! mom was quite taken aback by dad's romantic gift.
my big score this year was a gift certificate for a solo dive in west point. it is called an accelerated free fall & includes a 6 hour course & then the skydive. i am most excited as i think it should be pretty awesome to do the dive without being attached to someone else- no matter how much eye candy he is supplying.
we enjoyed a movie night last night & watched up- what a fun movie. it was a crowd pleaser for all ages. i do find myself seized with an uncontrollable desire to yell "squirrel" at sadiedog all day today, though! & we're off to see "avatar" tonight with my nephew. hope it's good. i lunched with a friend today who said it lived up to all its hype- we'll see.
now let's get to the topic at hand. i've searched far & wide to identify some of the worst christmas gifts ever- there had to be photographic evidence, so that eliminated a lot of entries. you will definitely be beating a path to the store to return if you were the lucky recipient of any of these thoughtful little presents.
our first is the decapitated teddy bear lamp. this can be had for 119. a bargain, don't you think? especially appropriate for a nursery. of course, you can get the shade in different colors. this treasure can be purchased at www.suck.uk.com.
got a man who has everything you needed to buy for? undoubtedly, he is standing in line as i write to return the gift below. this is a "willy" cover for those fantasy nights together. kind of changes the meaning of holiday cheer, doesn't it? this can be purchased at www.zavvi.com for $6.30.
next is an item we all should recognize & i don't think any more needs to be said. i will add that when my sister had her first-born, her husband proudly presented her with one of these as a gift for bearing their child. even my sister's male pediatrician got it & was like "he got you WHAT?". repeat after me- "i will never buy my wife one of these for christmas, unless she specifically asks for it & tells me the specific brand she wants."
our next entry is known to us all- the ubiquitous christmas sweater. i understand that a new party theme (which means it has been going on for some years by the time i identify as a new trend) is the ugly christmas sweater party. a friend called me the other day & left this message "let me start by saying asking you this favor in no way is intended to suggest that you have bad taste." she was looking for a tacky christmas sweater for her daughter to wear to an ugly christmas sweater party & wondered if i had one. for the record, i did not. if these beauties below had been under my tree this year, we'd be standing in the return line right now.
& just in case you're planning ahead, here's that must have gift for that friend that has everything. it's doubtful that they've received this from others. this is available from www.amazon.com.uk for 5.51USD (at today's exchange rate).
a big old gift of nothing. just a plastic bulb. it is truly the best gift for them that has everything.
actually, i take that back. are you looking for the gift for someone that has everything? you want to give a memorable gift to the love of your life who just bore you a heir? & you made the decision to forego the vacuum cleaner (good decision, by the way!). you want to give a gift that there is no way the recipient will get a duplicate of? well- here it is- drum roll please......
have your child's umbilical bronzed & hang it on a necklace! can i get a collective ewwwww?
i hope that some of you are taking notes for next christmas because you can start your shopping early. DVDs were a big item at our house this year. movies & tv shows were included in the pile. as i mentioned earlier, we watched up last night- a crowd pleaser. the younger set (meaning sans parents) watched the hangover - some great lines from that movie. tonight we watched julie & julia. my sister & my mother are definitely foodies- cute movie. my sister scored big bang theory- season one & the first season of glee. what we didn't get though was this......
definitely one of the worst xmas gifts ever. i don't think i actually know anyone who ever watched that show- it was definitely a pretty stupid premise.
okay - only a couple more. here is the perfectly awful yard ornament.
this is modern interpretation of a gnome & it glows in the dark. this will assist in parting you from 340 of your dollars. don't say it- i know, i know. i want something like this in my yard- it reminds me of ......
when my sister's kids were little, i often had dinner with them. my sister is a great cook & that was one of my pleasures when she lived in richmond. i was, however; frequently admonished at the table because i would encourage the kids in their potty talk. i am afflicted with arrested development when it comes to body parts & body humor. i've never grown out of the latency age stage of laughing & finding every & any body function hilarious. too bad this deck of cards wasn't around then. think how well informed i would have been & how much i could have taught my niece & nephew. these cards provide information about the elimination products of many different animals- both domestic & exotic. these babies are available at www.firebox.com.
i've been into experience gifts for some time now. we've given dad a hot air balloon ride, a day of fishing with us. when the star trek exhibit came to the smithsonian, i took dad up for the day & he sat in captain kirk's chair. i took my mother to fallingwater for her birthday one year. my niece & i went to new york city when she was 16 years old. i brought her into tiffany & company & up the 4th floor, where she was presented with the much coveted robin egg blue box, which held tiffany coins (their equivalent of a gift card) so that she could pick out her first elsa peretti piece (she chose the teardrop). i love experience gifts! they don't clutter your home, they last forever, they don't break & they are often so very special. choosing to spend our time with someone is sharing our most precious resource. so how could you go wrong with a gift of experience? well, here is an example- celeb for a day! this comes complete with screaming reporters, paparazzi, bodyguards, limos- you name it. for the cool price ranging from $250 to 1500, this little package could be yours. interested- you can find it www.celeb4aday.com.
well i'll end on that note. i had a couple more in mind, but i think i've pretty well covered it. i'd love to hear about worst christmas presents from anyone (if anyone does) who's reading this. & we all know what mine was....
TAMMMY!!!!! (that big-headed, big-hipped wreck of a doll when barbie had been the desired object).
merry everything & happy always!
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