
i've always hated the dentist. i can't remember a time when i felt like things would be okay if i was in the dentist's chair. last week, i broke a tooth. i was chowing down on some sweetheart conversation hearts (75% off- mind you) & my tooth broke. that tooth has a rather sizable filling in it & only the tooth was impacted- all of one side. it didn't hurt. i did behave like a responsible adult & called my dentist (it only took me 3 days) to see about setting up an appointment. i was anticipating needing a crown. lots of $$$$....
my dental experiences were somewhat intense early on for me. i was a serious & committed thumb sucker- i can't remember how old i was when i finally stopped- too old, i'm sure. the lustiness with which i sucked my thumb was not only pushing my front upper teeth forward- it was somehow re-aligning my jaw so that my upper & lower teeth weren't meeting for the bite. they thought they would have to break my jaw & reset it so it would be straight. instead, they just removed a number of teeth & i started with a retainer when i was in 2nd or 3rd grade.

our dentist was hilt romney, dds. he was a neighbor from our first house in vienna & my brother, sister & i all hated him. we were very vocal about our dislike for him- mom wasn't convinced. my sister was smart- she bit him several times & finally he told mom she needed to go to a pediatric dentist. good thinking, kathy. i wish i'd thought of that. not only did you get to see a different dentist; you also had the satisfaction of inflicting pain on hilt. mom wasn't happy; however, the pediatric dentist was quite a bit more moolah.

hilt had all the classic attributes of a geek. he wore those black horn-rimmed glasses so popular with the nerds in the 1960's. he had the whitest, palest skin i think i've ever seen. a long face with thin lips & a most unattractive nose, as i recall. & he had talk radio playing in his office- WTOP in washington. what i remember is paul harvey- "now for the rest of the story...." some may be too young to remember paul harvey (he was a commentator & news broadcaster for the ABC radio network). he has a very distinctive voice that lends a solemn & serious aura to anything he says. he always told these goofy stories that had a little twist to them at the end, when you got the rest of the story. in order to get the rest of the story, you had to listen to him for about 30 minutes before he would share "the rest of the story." paul harvey is still broadcasting to this day. i can't hear his voice without cringing. visions of hilt come alive & all that is associated with dentistry float into my consciousness- all i want to do is get far, far away. i don't want anyone near my mouth- i don't care how much it hurts.....
hilt would do things like numb the wrong side of my mouth when i was getting a filling- he seemed to slip a lot when using tools in my mouth. his attempts at talk & chatter were beyond banal. i think he may have yelled at us a lot if we cried or squirmed or resisted in any fashion. i remember his office being old & dingy & not at all inviting. i also remember sitting in the waiting room while kathy went back (this was before her victory of getting a new dentist) & hearing her scream. he had bad magazines,too- but of course there is no surprise there, by this point, is there?
by 5th grade (or maybe 6th), in addition to hilt, we made montly visits to dr. bauman, our orthodontist. i was in braces for 4 years, maybe 5? dr bauman had a much more happening office- he had a 6 chair orthodontial practice & man, did he move the people through! he could be stern- generally, though, he was kind & patient & his office staff was friendly. (hilt had no dental assistants- just a receptionist).
i can't remember when we finally convinced mom to give up on hilt- we moved to annandale in 1964, so the neighborly obligation had been fulfilled. i don't remember going to another dentist. i think we just saw dr. bauman. at any rate, i didn't go to the dentist again until 1985 or so- about 10 - 12 years later. i saw a guy in va. beach when we lived there- i remember one time he was doing a procedure & i was tearing up- he nor his staff said anything, nor acknowledged anything- game over! he was off the list. when we moved to richmond in 1990, i hunted for a new dentist. i got a recommendation from a work colleague- dr. talton- i think was his name. at the time, i was working in petersburg & near the chesterfield county courthouse- dr. talton was on the goochland/henrico county line at tuckahoe shopping center. it was a 45-minute drive (no 288 back then!). dr. talton was okay- he was a little too slick for my taste though- & he was very expensive. he got ticked off the list. & then we found dr. fred, my dental savior, my dental fabio.
we found dr. fred from our next door neighbors. he had been in dental school at one point & had met dr. fred, a dds & a phd. in order to become a patient of dr. fred's, you had to have an in- someone who referred you. that sounded exclusive.... anyway, i love dr. fred. he is the only dentist in his office- he has a hygienist & a receptionist. they've been with him forever. he can be pretty grumpy sometimes with his hygienist, debbie & it's like listening to a long-married couple banter back & forth. the first visit i had with fred, he knew immediately what i needed & got it done. he says he knows he only has about 20 minutes before i get too antsy (sometimes he subtly checks my pulse on my neck to see how i'm doing) & he does his best to stay within those parameters. he has never hurt me. he sings while he works- this is great. i don't know why dentists insist on trying to conversate when they are working on you- fred just sings. he makes me laugh. when danny was smoking cigars & trying to quit- it was fred who said- try a pipe! which danny did. & then armand, my brother-in-law. & then tommy, my brother. thanks, fred.so, for the rest of the story..... fred said today i had three choices- a crown, something else i can't remember, or using this glass-cement compound that came with no guarantees. he had used it on one of his teeth & that was 7 years ago- it was still good. all he did was shoot some on the tooth, smooth it out & let it dry. i was out of there in 10 minutes. i don't know what i'll do when fred retires. he said he'll be 60 this year- luckily, he is paying for his daughter's medical school (can you imagine graduating from medical school with no debt?), so he'll not be retiring early. who knows, today's remedy for my tooth could last a long time, maybe? if i stay away from the conversation hearts- at least until next valentine's day? so thank you fred- what would i do without you?