musings of a mimi

an apple an day.....

2012-01-30T22:25:00.000-05:00

this is probably all over the internet & i'm way behind the eight ball, as usual. anyway, i came across this & it just made me giggle. for those who don't know me well, i am a member of the cult of apple & have been for a few years. my love affair with apple preceded the first iPhone by two or three years. my brother, tommy, was an early apple devotee. my friend, susan, was also an early fan. both eventually drifted to windows/PC because of the dearth of software applications for everyday uses. my friend kate has used apple for years, so i was no stranger to macintosh before i was converted.

my brother-in-law is brilliant (no exaggeration, really) & quite the computer guy. he is not a fan of windows- in a really big way, not a fan. he always ran linux on their home computers- their poor children never got to play any of the computer games all their other friends did. my desktop got trashed by viruses & armand kindly cleaned it up & put on anti-virus software for me, i was very grateful. within one week after he did that, my desktop had been hijacked again. one week later, i had purchased my first apple computer (i think it was 2002 or 2003)- that's when i was baptized into the religion. i've been a faithful follower since. i follow apple stock for my investment club & every month i report in glowing terms how apple has outdone itself from the prior quarter. & have you seen the latest? it's going for $450 or so! doubled it's guidance this past christmas retail season. was the biggest company in the world on monday this week! WOW! anyway, the purpose of this post is this picture ......

this is the latest windows upgrade ....................... drumroll please .................

big girl pants

2011-12-07T22:36:00.001-05:00

so it seems that i am earning some big girl pants- red christmas ones, as a matter of fact! the process started last year. actually, it started last christmas. my sister & her family decided last year that they would fly into norfolk instead of richmond to join us for christmas at my parents in williamsburg. they were arriving the morning after christmas. well, many of us remember last december 26th- the snow started falling christmas evening & didn't stop until there was about 14" on the ground & norfolk airport was shut down.

well, i confess there were some tears as the it dawned on us that we may not be having christmas together. & by christmas i mean the day we have appointed as christmas. i was making a big pot of jambalaya, we were having family friends in for dinner, i had a made a flourless chocolate torte (can you say YUM?) for dessert & some other dishes so we could all eat together. by 5pm sunday evening, kathy let us know that the first flight they could get wasn't until thursday & they were scheduled to leave on friday, so they wouldn't be coming at all. a very sad day. because, you see, until last year, my sister & i had never spent a christmas apart. so in all my years, since she was born 53 years ago (at that time), we'd always shared our christmases. & now we weren't. it was very sad. she was in chicago with her husband & her two wonderful children & a ton of snow. i was in virginia with a ton of snow, my husband on crutches following an ankle surgery & my wonderful, but aging parents. my mother wasn't feeling well, so that further slowed things down. she spent a lot of time in bed sleeping & recovering. sadie & i took long walks in the snow-which was quite lovely.

we ended up deciding that we would have a virtual christmas & used gchat. we tried skype, but got a better image from gchat. we showed each other our lovely packages & then unwrapped them & showed each other what we got. it worked okay. here's what christmas looked like before our virtual gift exchange.

my sister had a great time with her family in chicago. my niece has an apartment in chicago & they stayed close to her & enjoyed having a christmas with just their family for the first time. everyone knows how horrid travel at christmas is & if that travel includes travel by air, well...... she's suffered enough! she's been flying east for years.

so this year, mom & dad said it's just silly for kathy to continue to fly out for christmas. they really wanted danny & i to fly to chicago & spend christmas with them. after all, they said, it's just a day. we'll be fine. we have lots of friends & will be perfectly okay. we'd rather you kids spend it together. (yep, that's how my parents are). danny & i decided that flying out to chicago was not in the cards *** (please see paragraph below for some serious bragging) & that we would stay home & spend christmas with my parents & without my sister.

which is good for my sister & her family, but sad for us. see sad faces above. we won't be all together with the kids at christmas. my brother came out for a bit of a visit this weekend & kathy decided to come as well, so we had a small family christmas while they were here. it was fun to have the three of us together- it always is when we're all together. it doesn't happen often. so we kind of had christmas together, but mostly not. & this year i'll really earn my bright christmas red big girl pants. sometimes it is really hard to be a true adult. because all i really want to do is pout until i get my way. but i know that's not right. i still want to do it, though. i'll miss you guys- kathy, armand, caitlin, daniel. & i am really glad that you guys get to enjoy a stress free, chicago christmas together- well, at least a part of me is.

i know we'll talk & gchat on christmas day. & we've been invited to have christmas eve dinner with my good friends in richmond- something i wouldn't have been able to do in past years. so, as is so many things, all lost opportunities include new possibilities & i shall be learning what those are this year as i wear my brand new christmas red big girl pants. if you see me (& you won't be able to miss me in those mega-red underwear), just say hi & merry christmas- how are those big girl pants?

i hope everyone who reads this has a most happy holiday & a great new year. please free to leave comments if you happen to read my blog. i feel like people really do read my blog then. thanks. so happy everything & peace to all.

****my awesome husband will be starting a low residency MFA in january at university of tampa. he will be on campus 20 days a year; the rest will be distance. he applied to four programs; was accepted by three. his MFA will be focused on writing. i am very proud of him. he starts january 5th, making any christmas travel difficult as far as work goes for him. end of bragging.

bah, humbug

2011-11-24T18:50:00.001-05:00

i love christmas! i always have. i've had a history of being overly generous at christmas (i just get so caught up in the season!) & one of the pleasures i've enjoyed for a long time is my habit of shopping year long for christmas presents. if i'm out & about, or happen to be traveling & i see something that i know is just perfect for susan or kathy or gigi or caitlin- well, it is soon purchased & in my possession & under the bed it goes to be stored until christmas. i have some people on my list that are really easy & fun to shop for & i often discover when i go to pull the boxes out that i've way overbought for them & have nothing for others because i forget what i've bought as the year passes. it's like christmas as i discover all the little treasures that i've collected throughout the year & start wrapping.

is that all? where's the rest?

& i love thanksgiving! what a great holiday. relatively without excess (except food, of course). just about gratitude & family & friends. at least, the thanksgivings i grew up with were that way. for the last 10 years, danny & i have rented a place in the outer banks of north carolina & had friends & family down for various parts of the week.

for the past few years, my parents have been unable to come due to health issues & two of the more regular couples that came have been unable to come, so it's just been us. we've enjoyed quiet thanksgivings with ourselves & sadiedog & it's a very relaxing week. if we want turkey for thanksgiving, we have it. if we don't- well, we don't. we are not tied to tradition. if we don't want to cook a big meal, we don't. it's rather liberating, actually! & a great tradition that danny & i intend to continue for a very long time.

so how does the title of this post relate to what i've written? it doesn't sound very 'bah, humbug', does it? until you mention BLACK FRIDAY...... Black Friday has now overtaken thanksgiving, or so it seems. now i love to shop as much as the next person. well, alright, that's not entirely true. i love to shop. a lot. i confess that i've never ventured out the friday after thanksgiving (kind of- i'll qualify that later). when did this Black Friday begin to take on it's own atmosphere?

it seems to eclipse the holiday of thanksgiving now. although that isn't hard to do with christmas decorations going up right after halloween on november 1st (hats off to nordstrom, who has a policy of never decorating until the day after thanksgiving). this Black Friday thing is crazy though- people getting trampled, waiting in line for hours, stores opening at 12am, 4am, 6am.... i suspect the shoppers are serious shoppers, too. none of the southern gentility that might be present at other times- "no, go ahead. i'm in no hurry."

i am having soooo much fun!

now i have no doubt that there is a combat mentality about all this that unites the shoppers. kind of like 'i survived black friday 2011.' it just seems kind of sad that one of the last major holiday that had nothing to do with shopping has become tainted with this huge event of black friday. & the poor employees having to get up at these ungodly hours to report to work. of course, these are the same employees, usually working for the big box stores that work for mostly minimum wage & already work nights & weekends & long hours. most of them are pretty darn happy to have a job. then again, i'm sure the customers are very nice & patient & just a joy to provide service to.......

now, having said all that, i do enjoy hitting some stores the day after thanksgiving when i'm at the beach. our tradition of coming to the beach started many years ago when my friend jane owned a place in kitty hawk. we started coming down to spend the weekend of thanksgiving with her- we'd have dinner with the family & leave friday morning. back in those days (1986), thanksgiving weekend was known as an owner's weekend & was usually the last weekend the stores were open for the year, so everything was deeply discounted & jane & i enjoyed getting bargains. we continued that tradition for several years (eventually stopping in the early 1990's, i think) & then my family started renting a place & we came as a family. of course, thanksgiving is no longer an owner's weekend down here. it is big business & the stores still discount deeply. as the outer banks has taken on more of a year round population & feel, more & more stores/services are open year round. there are still many stores that do close for the season; however, some close for january & february only. you can find some pretty good deals. that is the only friday after thanksgiving shopping i've ever done- it doesn't even seem right to call it black friday shopping- it is so much more casual & laid back - although some of the big box stores on the bypass (kmart, walmart, tj maxx) may be more serious.

anyway, that's my lament for days gone by. life was easier then & so on & so on- it was nicer when we weren't so consumer driven, wasn't it?

a confession

2011-10-28T00:29:00.002-04:00

as i was getting dressed this morning, it occurred to me that i had a confession to make. after my post yesterday bashing pajama jeans & those who might wear them, i realized that i am guilty of a similar crime. in all fairness, though, i would characterize my crime as a misdemeanor, while pajama jeans are definitely a felony. my misdemeanor is my joyous, blissful wearing of my ugg boots at every opportunity.

i feel so lucky that i can get away with wearing my uggs to work. i annually await the approach of the cooler weather in happy anticipation of the first day the temperature permits the wearing of uggs. uggs are so named because they are ....... UGH! everyone i know is either neutral or hates them until they try them on. my girlfriend susan was like "meh" until she tried mine on- less than five minutes later we were on the computer ordering her a pair. for those who aren't in the know, uggs are footwear that were developed in australia by surfers who wanted something warm & dry for their feet when they emerged from surfing. they created a boot that is shearling lined with authentic australian sheepskin. the reason i think uggs are a misdemeanor akin to pajama jeans is because wearing them feels like wearing your bedroom slippers. i'm not sure there is a more comfortable outdoor footwear in existence. uggs are made to be worn barefoot & they are soooooo comfortable. of course, when i wear mine, everyone is "i had no idea you were so short" & stuff... yeah, i am. but, i digress. i thought i should 'fess up since i was so hard on pajama jeans- although they certainly deserved it- there is no doubt they are a fashion felony worthy of mandatory sentencing. the sentence should be something like one month with tim gunn or heidi klum or something like that. although, heidi was one of the jeggings examples- i'll have to think about that. i wonder if she checked with tim before she wore those? uggs- a fashion misdemeanor at worst & maybe not even that. maybe a traffic court kind of thing or a parking ticket? if at all?

here is my ugg collection (they are THAT comfortable).....

two words that should never go together....

2011-10-26T21:58:00.002-04:00

well, another long break. i am steadfast in my refusal to be yet another abandoned blog on the web. there are thousands of them. i am always thinking in my head about all these things i can post & write about.. & then along comes a shiny object.

yesterday, i was packing to come to baltimore, where i am attending some training & ruing the fact that i have no jeans that i wear (i can't remember the last time i wore pants) because i am not happy with the way they look on me. i find myself feeling overdressed almost all the time. my goal is to get back into a pair of jeans. & i won't bore anyone with the details of all of that. so this morning as i was getting dressed, a commercial came on that caught my attention....

pajama jeans

i certainly don't begrudge the concept- nothing wrong with the desire for & being comfortable. however if you are planning on leaving the comfort & sanctity of your home, you should not be clad in anything that has 'pajamas' in the description. there are standards, after all, that supersede comfort. which brings me to my next recent fashion trend that caught my attention...

jeggings

very few of us can pull off jeggings. my personal belief is anytime a new word is blended to describe a new item of clothing- that's a bad sign. clearly, conan cannot pull off jeggings. they don't leave much to the imagination, do they?

now, of course, there are those who can pull off jeggings & look good in them. my question is- why would they choose to? to me, it's the equivalent of wearing pajama jeans with a designer label. here are a few who can. i am not among them- big surprise there! either is conan!

sienna miller, heidi klum & courtney cox can do it- why do they want to though?

ah- good to be back...

no man (or woman) is an island

2011-01-13T19:31:00.000-05:00

For Whom the Bell Tolls

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were. As well as if a manner of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.
- John Donne

today i am diminished.

and yet more brief follow-ups

2010-10-05T22:10:00.000-04:00

well, as i was driving back to my office the other day from a hair appointment, i saw a little boy on his bike with the training wheels & it was the The Family. they had a little boy. so now we know.

i took my car into the dealer last week for the 40k service & asked them to check the back window that rattled. as it turns out, it wasn't the window at all. a bolt had fallen off right below the window & that was creating the rattle. they fixed it for me at no charge. i am also glad to report it was not the same service manager who told me it would be $600 to fix & to turn my radio up. dad 0, mimi 1.

what a hollow victory!

cars

2010-09-23T12:02:00.002-04:00

the back window on my car has been rattling & it is driving me nuts. i mensotioned it to the service guys the last time i took it in to the dealer & after they looked at it, they said it would be $600 to fix it! really? he suggested i turn the radio up, which i thought was pretty dismissive & patronizing. i certainly wasn't going to pay 600. to fix the window. so it still rattles. i'll take it to my neighborhood mechanic & see what he charges. it did remind me of something my father always used to tell us- never get electric windows- they'll always break. now, i'll grant you that this particular piece of wisdom came in the 70's. still... & it got me thinking about my philosophy of cars & relationship with cars. and things my father always said about cars.

besides never getting electric windows, my father also recommended that one never got clocks in cars, as they also always broke. he would instead go up to the neighborhood dart drug (does anyone remember those?- they were scattered across northern virginia, having been founded by a funny looking man also responsible for crown books, one of the first discount booksellers- but i digress) & purchase a small, digital stick-on clock that went on the dashboard & did the job. they were easy to replace if they should break. they were also incredibly hard to read, especially at night.

so, no electric windows & no clocks in cars- they just break. while we did buy cars new, as you can imagine, they were pretty lacking in options. air conditioning, am/fm radio- that was pretty much it. & we kept our cars for a long time. this is a habit that has persisted for all of us hughes children. it is very rare for any of us to give up a car with less than 100, 000 miles on it. growing up, my dad did manage to stumble into some pretty fun cars. for a while we had a VW bug with a sunroof- the kind that you had to crank open. & in our adolescent years (my brother, sister & i were born within 4 1/2 years of each other), he had a firebird (unfortunately it did not perform particularly well). that firebird had an 8 track deck in it- we were pretty groovy. i remember we had the 8-track of workingman's dead. my brother blew out the speakers, so that bit of hipness was short lived. the firebird was pretty dinged & banged up by the time we were done with it. my father didn't get the dings & dents repaired- he said it helped in washington- people tended to stay out of your way with your car looking like that. the firebird was replaced by a car that came to be a family legend known as big blue- the ford ltd. this was sweet piece of machinery. & it was big!

this is exactly what big blue looked like, right down to the vinyl roof. you should have seen my mother driving it- she is about 5'1 or 5'2"- her head barely made it over the steering wheel. there was literally about 6-10" of air where the engine ended & the front of the car began. we felt as though the car arrived about 30 minutes before the rest of us did. & it was only a mid-sized car. ford only made these cars for 3 years- they were plagued by low sales- go figure! this was during the time that my dad had learned about buying cars from hertz & avis b/c they were good deals. & you know they were treated well b/c people always treat rental cars well,right? & like they were their own. big blue had the turning radius of .... i don't know-let's just say that one time i made a u-turn with big blue across 5 lanes & didn't have to back up & the entire family was impressed! i will say big blue could move- she had a V8 & was ready to rock & roll on the highway. one time in williamsburg iwth my brother we drove big blue to the grocery store- it was dark & at night. we later realized we drove big blue across a field- there was no road there. she handled it like a pro. we all had a fondness for big blue & were sorry to see her go.

the only other car that had the status of a legend in my family was the galaxie. this car achieved it's mythical status by being totaled 3 or 4 times.

it was stolen twice (& obviously returned to us- i know one time it was found in southeast washington, stripped of its tires), it was in multiple accidents, had it's driver side door ripped off one time & kept on ticking. my sister & i shared this car when she came to va. tech. by the end she had multiple colors- the car was dark green, the hood white, the driver side door was another color. we would get the check from GEICO for the total value of the car & get it fixed with used parts. she also had some power under her hood. it was finally sold to elmer, who happily drove her off to her new home in pulaski. she was a good car who served us well.

one of the sweetest things that my parents did for us (after paying for our college educations in full- which was really great) was buy each of us a car for a graduation present. a used car, of course. it equipped each of us to begin our adult lives with a car & a degree & no debt. you don't get much better of a start to adulthood & self-sufficiency than that. i ended up with a ford pinto- it was stick shift- which i didn't know how to drive, by the way, but i figured what better way to learn than baptism by fire. & it worked. i'd had that car about a year or two when it was stolen from in front of my house in radford, va (about a block from the tennis courts at radford university), used to hold up a wilco gas station & then taken to a field & set on fire. i was heartbroken because in order to replace it, i had to take on a car loan. i ended up replacing it with a datsun B210, which was a great car. & somewhere along the line- i don't know why- unlike all the rest of my family- i began to like cars & care a little bit about them. i think it was when i got my honda CRX that i started to care a bit more about what i drove. i had decided i liked sportier cars.

i purchased a 1991 CRXsi- this was the last year they made them. it did not have power windows (that option wasn't available for this car). i always felt i had to give people a diagram on how to work the windows- electric windows were pretty much the rule by then- or power locks. it was a pretty zippy little ride & fun to drive. it was a 2-seater- a hassle at times & a blessing at times. i still miss my CRX. i sold it in 2005 to a firemen who commuted to northern va from fredericksburg (that puppy got 38-40mpg on the highway). it had 140k on it, which was pretty good for a 4 cyclinder. & now, circling back to the point, until my mini window started acting up, the only car i ever had a problem with windows was the CRX & they were manual windows! i had to have the driver side window fixed several times- it kept getting stuck. i thought i'd bested my dad on a technicality until the stupid mini window issue came along- d'oh! dad wins again! i guess he always will b/c dad does know best!

ps. after mom & dad got rid of big blue, they made the move to honda. since that time, they have owned three hondas, all with electric windows & clocks, so you see- you can teach an old dog new tricks. my dad did demonstrate that cars are not something that he committed a great deal of his financial resources to & that value was instilled. while i probably actually enjoy cars more than my siblings, i'm not willing to invest but so many financial resources to a car. in my family, they are viewed primarily as a source of reliable transportation. i deviate from that a bit- but only so much. i do like my cars to be fun to drive! & sadie does look so good in that little red mini!

the very briefest of a follow-up

2010-09-05T16:39:00.000-04:00

the other day sadie & i were taking our afternoon walkie down the grove avenue block, as usual & there she was! the young blond mom & her newest addition. she & the baby were sitting quietly on their on front porch swing (yes, they have a front porch swing on their lovely wide l-shaped front porch surrounded by the white picket fence). it was the sweetest moment. they were quietly swinging & the mom was looking down at her sleeping baby (wrapped in a gender neutral blanket, damn it!) in the totally captivated way only mothers can exhibit- a perfect moment. unfortunately, the family dog was also out in the yard. do i need to spell out the rest of the scene? much barking ensued & much canine communication was engaged in- quite loudly, i might add. by the time sadie & i made our way back up the block, mom & baby & dog had gone inside. i wonder why.... it was such a pretty day to be on the porch swing.

the lives of others

2010-08-27T23:57:00.000-04:00

my goodness- it's been a long time since my last post. where does the time go? i must admit i have done some fun stuff since march. most notably, we went to the british virgin islands sailing with another couple on a spacious 43' foot catamaran. it was my first time out sailing & i was in heaven. here a couple of photos from our trip.

it's hard to believe the summer is almost done & what a summer it's been, eh? a real scorcher! i am eagerly awaiting the return of cooler nights & days & the arrival of the fall season.

so... truth be told.... i have finally figured out that i just don't have that blogworthy a life, i guess. it has been a very long break. i'm back now, i think. we'll see. this post is something i find myself thinking about a lot.

my dog, sadie, comes to work with me everyday. i love that my dog spends the day with me at work. she's a great dog & greets everyone who comes through the door. some of my clients have asked that they not be scheduled on tuesdays (sadie doesn't come to work on tuesdays because i work at a clinic on tuesday afternoons & she can't come) because she's not there. i guess i'm not enough!

sadie & i go for a walk once or twice a day & we usually walk the block. my office is at the beginning of the 3500 block of grove avenue. besides our small offices, there is a dentist office midway through the block & at the end of the block is the advanced wellness center. everything else on the block is residential (including apartments). so we walk the block most every day & unlike my neighborhood, where i know most of the people that we pass, i don't know the people in the block. but i have noticed them a lot.

there is an elderly couple that live in the first set of apartments toward the thompson street side of the block. he is so tender toward her. he always opens her car door, even though he uses a cane & she does not. he often puts his arm on her back or shoulder in that protective way many couples do. they do not look like they are they are having that conversation that it looks like so many older people seem to have (i remember one time when i was in china & there was a tour bus- this chinese woman was talking very fast to her husband, who looked a bit sheepish as he was responding back to her- i needed no translator to know what that conversation was about!)- this couple seems rather harmonious. when they go to the store, they both carry the bags into the apartment (he always holds open that door, too). when he is able to park the car really close to the door to their apartment entrance, i always secretly applaud.

& then there is the house where there was a fire. the owner is doing all the work himself, apparently. he must have been renting it at the time of the fire. he has been working on it for at least two years. i'm beginning to wonder if he will ever complete it. here are the options i've come up with- he is 1) very exacting & perfectionistic 2) completely incompetent & has no idea what he is doing 3) has a day job & can only work on the house in his spare time 4) is renovating it for himself & his family to live there & wants it to be exactly what they want 5) another possibility i haven't thought of yet. i'm kind of tired of waiting, though. i want to see what it will look like when he is done.

a few doors down is the young family. they are youthful, beautiful & blonde. they have two boys & she is at home full-time. they have purchased a fair amount of furniture from ikea, i think. the boys appear to be around 2 to 5 years old. she has been pregnant & about a month or so ago, i noticed a young woman out with the stroller taking the boys for a walk, so i imagine the baby's been born. they are also doing some renovations on the house that aren't obvious from the outside- perhaps adding a master bath/bedroom? i wonder if she had another boy. i saw her in the house the other day- she no longer looked pregnant. i will add that they have a dog & their house is surrounded by a white picket fence. i kid you not. i hope she comes out with the baby soon - i want to know what she had.

aren't i nosy? i have always been pretty fascinated by the lives of others. by the human brain. by the interiors of our minds. my niece & i sometimes used to go out to dinner & make up stories about the other people in the restaurant. it was just a stupid little game we used to play when she was younger to entertain ourselves. we used to come up with some pretty fun stories. at least, we were amused....

in our world of so much anonymity & rushing about & mobility, it's pretty easy to go for a fairly long time & not see a familiar face. personally, i don't think we were intended to live that way. i think we are beings that require a form of community at some level in order to thrive; a sense of connection to others even if it's at a distance or without introduction. i think about the friends of some of my friends who i keep up with pretty regularly. i've never met them. they're good friends of my friends & i know about their lives, their broad ups & downs. & i guess they know about mine. of course all of this is all the more interesting because i'm invited into the lives of others in a limited, yet very privileged, way every day. it's how i make my living.

i love that i know the clerk at the floyd avenue post office by name & that she recognizes me. i like that i have a starbucks i consider mine & they know my drink (venti bold). i love the yarn lounge- talk about a community! i do ms. white picket fence shows up pretty soon with the new baby so i can see if she had a boy or girl. & i will worry & wonder if i see mr. or mrs. too many days in a row without the other. they don't know it, but their lives have touched mine.

& all this from dog walks.

ahhhh..... good to be back with mindless ramblings.

you know you're a grown up when ....

2010-03-14T23:24:00.001-04:00

i passed a new marker this year. i remember thinking that i was heading into grownupdom when i got my first washer & dryer. over the years, every so often, i will find myself thinking something or having an urge for some objet desire that seems very adult. there has been more than one occasion this year, while shoe shopping, i was saddened to see that most of the shoes with any heels were too high for me- a day i thought would never come. part of the "too high" comes from not wanting to look like a caricature (if anyone thinks i already do, please let me continue in blissful ignorance) & the other part comes from practical considerations of locomotion & being ambulatory in a safe & reasonable fashion.

look, there goes the point.....

so, back to the "crossing over" marker. i was in williamsburg last week with my mom, who wondered what i might want for my birthday this year (which is later this month). i do enjoy the privilege of having a life with almost no needs that are unfulfilled & most of my wants are also fulfilled. she suggested it might be something i would like, but would be unlikely to get myself. & this is what i came up with-

i know, i know. my husband gave me an all-clad pan a few years ago & i do lust after them. they are wonderful to cook with & clean up easily (without teflon). they are nice & heavy & feel so substantial. i'm probably just a patsy for the madison avenue manipulators- oh, well. i do love my pan- i love cooking with it (even though i don't cook often) & it makes cooking more enjoyable. so here i am, getting a pan for my birthday & loving it. seems kind of adult to me...

thanks, mom & dad for the birthday present!

my husband rocks

2010-03-09T22:06:00.000-05:00

so last weekend, i was in williamsburg visiting mom & dad. when i got home, look what i found!

he got the waterford hung- you should see when the sunlight hits it.

nothing brightens my day like a new chandelier!

a melancholy post

2010-03-06T15:53:00.001-05:00

this is an unusual post- a bit more self-disclosing than my usual. i debated about it. i'm not one to go full exposure on the web with the assumption of partial anonymity. anyone who knows me has probably talked with me about this topic at one time or another.

over the past couple weeks, i have had the occasion to go to ikea on twice. surprisingly, the second trip was not because i had purchased something, came home to assemble it & discovered it was missing a key part (always small & always a necessary part). i had purchased a coffee table on my first trip & then changed my mind, so it needed to be returned. part of the melancholy may have been intensified because i went up to potomac mills after the memorial service of a friend.

when i was there the first friday evening, i sat in the restaurant/cafe & did some people-watching. so many young families with small children, young couples still experiencing the fresh first buds of love, some obvious newlyweds. very few 50-somethings. some 50-60ish types- usually pushing carts & carriages & talking with high voices to the world's most perfect child. just sitting there brought back many memories for me.

i remember very distinctly my first trip to ikea. for her birthday in december, my sister requested a weekend away from her 6-month old daughter with myself & a friend. she wanted to get some furniture, as did i. we had carefully pored over the ikea catalog like people used to pore over the sears & roebuck catalog every year. we'd counted our pennies & measured our rooms. we had taken the extra seat out of the minivan (the first model) so that we would have more room to transport our treasures back home. we were pretty darn excited when we pulled out of richmond that morning. we would go to potomac mills on friday for the day, spend the night in dale city with a high school friend, motor on to tyson's corner on saturday & return on sunday, with the possibility of a return trip to potomac mills, if needed. it was my sister's first weekend away from caitlin & armand's first weekend alone as a father. at the time, we were living in va. beach & didn't have a lot of room for furniture, which worked out well so that kathy could get her stuff in the van.

boy, did we shop that weekend! by sunday, we couldn't remember what we had purchased on friday! as it turns out, about 10 years later, some friends & i would make this same trip annually in october or early november for christmas shopping for several years.

what created a lot of my melancholy the other week was remembering that time of my life. we were young, married less than 10 years, in the process of planning for children & imagining a life full of possibility. we were living with our college hand-me-downs & castoffs & i imagined a beautiful home in my mind that would one day be mine. i hadn't quite worked out a sense of personal style yet & was still trying to figure what i actually liked & what i thought i was supposed to like.

so i sat there a couple weeks ago in a very different place. at one point, it would have been almost impossible for me to walk out of ikea without a lot of stuff- little stuff, big stuff- just a lot of stuff. that is no longer an issue. when i go to ikea, it is for something quite specific. i don't need stuff. my home is furnished (with a number of ikea pieces, by the way) & a) we don't have room & b) we don't have need. c) & thirdly, my husband hates ikea. i mean, he HATES ikea. probably the fact that he is the assembler contributes to his dislike of the swedish retailer. their reputation for leaving small necessary parts out of packages contributes. the fact that something generally breaks affects his feelings toward ikea. & finally he thinks it's just "cheap shit". i disagree with that.

when i furnished my office when i started in private practice, i didn't have a lot of resources to put toward it, considering my position at the hospital had just been eliminated & that was the impetus for private practice. i also thought it would be a good idea to furnish my office with stuff that would go well with my stuff at home in case i was unsuccessful at private practice & needed to bring all the furniture home. many colleagues told me don't skimp on your chairs & sofa. you will have lots of people sitting on them, of all sizes, & you need a really sturdy one. well, i went ahead & spend 199. for a loveseat from ikea. here it is 19 years later & i still have the same loveseat. i had it slipcovered 2 years ago. it's been great- still sturdy, comfortable (i regularly nap on it when needed- a benefit of self-employment). some of my colleagues have "better' furniture that looks worse. here is my office couch with the slipcover (& sadiedog).

as a matter of fact, my office is done almost completely in ikea. the only non-ikea piece is my lateral filing cabinet.

what fun we had, though, decorating our homes. trips up & down the road to ikea. purchasing the home not quite the home of my dreams (in my dreams) & the perfect home for us. learning my own style & following it, regardless of what was popular or what others liked. then as incomes rose, i began buying furniture from elsewhere. mom & dad downsized & we accumulated some of the family pieces. so now, when i sit in the ikea cafe, it is mostly looking back, not forward. & for some reason, that is the place where i am most aware that the family i planned does not look like the family that i have. that is the deepest root of the melancholy- the twinge of sadness. watching the young couples with their children. i would have imagined that those feelings would have been gone by now- almost 20 years later. it certainly isn't like it was- the feelings just wash over me at times.

i had just turned 35 when it was discovered that i would definitively be unable to have children. period. this discovery followed almost three years of treatment for infertility & two miscarriages. i had always assumed i would have children, had always wanted children. there was never a doubt for me about children. & it wasn't to be. for some time, i thought perhaps i was too selfish to have children. i have since decided that wasn't the case. it's just how it is.

however, not having children has allowed me to be involved in the lives of many children. i will be forever grateful to my sister for sharing her children & allowing me to be "mimimommy", as my niece calls me. i grew up with the neighborhood children & families. i remember when the kids were 3-4 years old- they had difficulty understanding how i was an adult woman (translation: mommy) & i was married (translation: daddy) without children. they didn't understand how i could be married & not have children.

i will feel those waves of sadness when all those kids marry & begin to have children & my friends begin to become grandparents. our path has been different & it has only been in the past 5 years that i have met a lot of women who are not mothers & some who don't wish to be. it is certainly easier these days when the lives of most of my friends are not so organized around the needs of their (now adult) children. i always swore i would not be the "cat woman" with tons of kitties around or one of those couples who have dog-children. it helps that many of my friends with children treat their pups the same as we do- i'm not dressing sadie in clothes & we are comfortable with boarding her when we need to do so. & we sure do love her an awful lot.

& all this from a simple coffee break in the cafe of ikea- what was, what might have been & what is. i have a good life- a wonderful life & yet, i'll always wonder......

a chandelier obsession

2010-01-29T21:24:00.002-05:00

i'm not sure when it started. i've always loved them. my parents brought back a beautiful waterford chandelier when they went to ireland in 1972, which has hung in their dining room wherever they lived. we bought a chandelier for our dining room when we bought our house in 1990. it was a traditional brass number & very unexciting. my eye was always drawn to chandeliers in decorating magazines & such- huge, glittering chandeliers with dancing prisms of light from the crystal.

in the early-ish nineties, i wandered into anthill antiques in carytown. kay, the owner, is also chandelier obsessed. she purchases chandeliers & adds to them. i purchased my first real chandelier from her. i'd always wanted a chandelier for my kitchen. i thought i'd start with kitsch & this is what i got. when i bought it, there was a crystal prism every other hole- i purchased more prisms & filled them in. the first customization.... i just loved the idea of a chandelier in the kitchen- many people thought totally impractical - what about the grease from cooking? chandeliers are not for kitchens. (don't forget - this was 1993 or so). i loved my chandelier in my kitchen. & that was the beginning.

kay told me "i measure my happiness by the number of chandeliers in my house." her chandeliers were often reasonably priced & lots of fun. i began to purchase them & then add stuff on my own. the kitchen acquired two more chandeliers- one from anthill; the other from ebay. one of my favorites is in the powder room- a diminutive 3-arm sweetie. the problem with a chandelier collection is that you run out of space. they aren't practical for upstairs because we use the ceiling fans in the summer. although, when i turned a bedroom into a closet for me, i made my own chandelier. i bought the basics from kay & then selected my crystals. the color i chose for my closet room was the tiffany robin egg blue & i created my chandelier to go with that.

with all the beautiful chandeliers, the traditional brass chandelier was looking sooo drab. so i had kay to my house & she used her handy-dandy tool to punch holes in my chandelier so i could hang some crystals. i wanted to "tart it up." what ended up being really cool was that my mother gave to me a box she had of chandelier crystals from grandma's house in portsmouth, ohio. i couldn't believe these crystals hadn't come up before with all the chandelier hanging around my house! & the chandelier is quite tarted up- i love that it has the history of grandma.

part of the motivation to finally tart up the dining room chandelier was that my friend, suzi, had asked if i would be willing to allow my house to be on tour. st. gertrude's high school does a house tour every year, in a different neighborhood in the city. that year it was in ginter park- it was 1997. i was more than happy to oblige. i think it's the best my house has ever looked!

about a month later, i was at tinker's. i was at the register & there was a woman there purchasing a..... chandelier! she was telling the sales associate that she had been on a house tour the previous month & the house had chandeliers in the kitchen. she was buying one for her house- she loved the idea so much! how cool was that??!! here are my two of my kitchen chandeliers.

part of the reason for the timing of this post is that i have inherited the waterford. there was no question between tommy & kathy where the waterford would land. luckily, we have room for it- it will go in the entrance hall & the one in the entry now will go upstairs. i know that danny will get them hung before too long...

here are some interesting chandeliers i have come across in my cyber-travels. can you make out the shoes in this one? rather sporting, don't you think?

this is kind of a fun one, too, don't you think? the picture is smaller, so it's hard to see- i think they are little shopping bag replicas......

have a princess in your life? then she must have this for her room......

all of the above chandeliers are available from www.etsy.com/shop/whimsicalcollections. they run in the 325. - 375.

here is the perfect chandelier for the kitchen. this puppy can be found at www.etsy.com/shop/malindadickens & is priced at 148.

finally, for your consideration is a way to add color to any room- what do you think?

this is available at www.etsy.com/shop/sheriscrystals & is 289.95.

is red ever wrong? this is murano, by the way.

now some more exotic chandeliers. this one is by stuart . apparently he is an early pioneer in the repurposing movement (used to be called recycling). this chandelier is made from 1020 pairs of prescription sunglasses. kind of cool, huh?

sometimes there just isn't enough room for more chandeliers &
then it's time to get creative & incorporate them in other ways. here are a few possibilities.
who doesn't love chandelier earrings? nothing like mixing two passions- jewelry & chandeliers! there are so many different types of chandelier earrings. no reason for the passion to go unfulfilled! however, i must confess i don't own a pair of chandelier earrings. go figure...

is there an easier way to put some chandelier energy into your life? i don't think so. a couple of screws are all that's needed...

i can't hang a chandelier at my office- acoustical tile ceilings. these can help to take the bite out of such deprivation.

& finally, here are two classics. the first one is 14kt gold.

now, those are chandeliers!!!!!

some rants

2010-01-29T01:05:00.000-05:00

it is rare that i rant. it is even rarer that i rant out loud. i believe myself to be a fairly patient, accepting individual. one of my favorite quotes (& i have a lot!) is "there is no one you couldn't love once you know their story." i work hard to appreciate the buddhist philosophy of impermanence- even if something does bother me, it won't be around forever- it will shortly move on & be gone. practicing some of the above helps to decrease rants for me. every so often, though, something will hit my radar screen & a rant seed is planted. i found myself thinking today- if i were to rant, about what would i rant?...... & with super rapid speed a good number of things came flying into my head. here is a brief list, not in any particular order.

1. sex in the media. i'm not completely sure exactly when this started bothering me. i've never considered myself prudish & have always experienced a healthy dose of liberalism. i recall hearing snippets about censorship around the smothers brothers & their irreverent & biting sense of humor (that was actually a trick statement- if you remember that show, you are in my generation). for the uninitiated, they were censored for statements & stances against the vietnam war & the johnson administration. i was not one to believe in censorship. if you didn't want to watch it, turn it off. no one is forcing you to watch it. well- these days i am stunned at what i find on TV. i accept that part of this is a sign of aging (as if i needed any more of those!). when i look at soap operas these days, though- OMG. & "real sex" on HBO. i can't believe that's not on an adult channel- it's on a TV channel many many homes subscribe to today. it still stuns me that you can hear the C word on TV (not an adult channel).

2. cell phones. oh, big surprise there!!! who doesn't rant about cell phones? what i wonder is if everyone rants about cell phones (& they do), who is providing the behavior that initiates the rants? i confess to using my cell phone in the car (truly on a very rare occasion- i'm not a good enough driver to use a cell phone in my car). if i can't talk, i don't answer. anyway, this is not an original rant & i don't know anyone who wouldn't rant about cell phones. yawn, yawn...

3. how low can pants go? (see #1). i swear i'm not a prude!!

4. does anyone know how to count change back? without a computer?

5. sometimes it is the kids & not the teacher- sometimes your kid is misbehaving & the teacher is not out to get your child.

as i look this short list over, i am left with the thought that perhaps this is about aging? that's kind of bummer- welcome to geezerdom! i've definitely crossed over.

time to return presents? the answer is yes if you got any of these under your tree.

2009-12-28T01:17:00.005-05:00

well, today will be another photo heavy post. i hope everyone is fat & happy after the big day. we've gorged ourselves & ripped open those carefully chosen gifts & now it is time to take inventory- right? the hughes christmas was a kinder, gentler affair again this year. the excesses of years past have moved aside to make way for less conspicuous consumption. highlights this year included gigi (as we call my mother) receiving a diamond from dad. she never had an engagement ring- she said they didn't have a lot of money & it just wasn't "practical" (i am sadly not familiar with that word- at least not when i want something!). as she said, it only took her 59 years (they were married 12.30.1950). interestingly enough, when my father bought the ring for my mother, he also decided that after all this time, he wanted a wedding band, so he bought himself a wedding band. which actually isn't a bad idea, if you are familiar the demographics of the over 85 crowd- men are at a premium! mom was quite taken aback by dad's romantic gift.

my big score this year was a gift certificate for a solo dive in west point. it is called an accelerated free fall & includes a 6 hour course & then the skydive. i am most excited as i think it should be pretty awesome to do the dive without being attached to someone else- no matter how much eye candy he is supplying.

we enjoyed a movie night last night & watched up- what a fun movie. it was a crowd pleaser for all ages. i do find myself seized with an uncontrollable desire to yell "squirrel" at sadiedog all day today, though! & we're off to see "avatar" tonight with my nephew. hope it's good. i lunched with a friend today who said it lived up to all its hype- we'll see.

now let's get to the topic at hand. i've searched far & wide to identify some of the worst christmas gifts ever- there had to be photographic evidence, so that eliminated a lot of entries. you will definitely be beating a path to the store to return if you were the lucky recipient of any of these thoughtful little presents.

our first is the decapitated teddy bear lamp. this can be had for 119. a bargain, don't you think? especially appropriate for a nursery. of course, you can get the shade in different colors. this treasure can be purchased at www.suck.uk.com.

got a man who has everything you needed to buy for? undoubtedly, he is standing in line as i write to return the gift below. this is a "willy" cover for those fantasy nights together. kind of changes the meaning of holiday cheer, doesn't it? this can be purchased at www.zavvi.com for $6.30.

next is an item we all should recognize & i don't think any more needs to be said. i will add that when my sister had her first-born, her husband proudly presented her with one of these as a gift for bearing their child. even my sister's male pediatrician got it & was like "he got you WHAT?". repeat after me- "i will never buy my wife one of these for christmas, unless she specifically asks for it & tells me the specific brand she wants."

our next entry is known to us all- the ubiquitous christmas sweater. i understand that a new party theme (which means it has been going on for some years by the time i identify as a new trend) is the ugly christmas sweater party. a friend called me the other day & left this message "let me start by saying asking you this favor in no way is intended to suggest that you have bad taste." she was looking for a tacky christmas sweater for her daughter to wear to an ugly christmas sweater party & wondered if i had one. for the record, i did not. if these beauties below had been under my tree this year, we'd be standing in the return line right now.

& just in case you're planning ahead, here's that must have gift for that friend that has everything. it's doubtful that they've received this from others. this is available from www.amazon.com.uk for 5.51USD (at today's exchange rate).

a big old gift of nothing. just a plastic bulb. it is truly the best gift for them that has everything.

actually, i take that back. are you looking for the gift for someone that has everything? you want to give a memorable gift to the love of your life who just bore you a heir? & you made the decision to forego the vacuum cleaner (good decision, by the way!). you want to give a gift that there is no way the recipient will get a duplicate of? well- here it is- drum roll please......

have your child's umbilical bronzed & hang it on a necklace! can i get a collective ewwwww?

i hope that some of you are taking notes for next christmas because you can start your shopping early. DVDs were a big item at our house this year. movies & tv shows were included in the pile. as i mentioned earlier, we watched up last night- a crowd pleaser. the younger set (meaning sans parents) watched the hangover - some great lines from that movie. tonight we watched julie & julia. my sister & my mother are definitely foodies- cute movie. my sister scored big bang theory- season one & the first season of glee. what we didn't get though was this......

definitely one of the worst xmas gifts ever. i don't think i actually know anyone who ever watched that show- it was definitely a pretty stupid premise.

okay - only a couple more. here is the perfectly awful yard ornament.

this is modern interpretation of a gnome & it glows in the dark. this will assist in parting you from 340 of your dollars. don't say it- i know, i know. i want something like this in my yard- it reminds me of ......

when my sister's kids were little, i often had dinner with them. my sister is a great cook & that was one of my pleasures when she lived in richmond. i was, however; frequently admonished at the table because i would encourage the kids in their potty talk. i am afflicted with arrested development when it comes to body parts & body humor. i've never grown out of the latency age stage of laughing & finding every & any body function hilarious. too bad this deck of cards wasn't around then. think how well informed i would have been & how much i could have taught my niece & nephew. these cards provide information about the elimination products of many different animals- both domestic & exotic. these babies are available at www.firebox.com.

i've been into experience gifts for some time now. we've given dad a hot air balloon ride, a day of fishing with us. when the star trek exhibit came to the smithsonian, i took dad up for the day & he sat in captain kirk's chair. i took my mother to fallingwater for her birthday one year. my niece & i went to new york city when she was 16 years old. i brought her into tiffany & company & up the 4th floor, where she was presented with the much coveted robin egg blue box, which held tiffany coins (their equivalent of a gift card) so that she could pick out her first elsa peretti piece (she chose the teardrop). i love experience gifts! they don't clutter your home, they last forever, they don't break & they are often so very special. choosing to spend our time with someone is sharing our most precious resource. so how could you go wrong with a gift of experience? well, here is an example- celeb for a day! this comes complete with screaming reporters, paparazzi, bodyguards, limos- you name it. for the cool price ranging from $250 to 1500, this little package could be yours. interested- you can find it www.celeb4aday.com.

well i'll end on that note. i had a couple more in mind, but i think i've pretty well covered it. i'd love to hear about worst christmas presents from anyone (if anyone does) who's reading this. & we all know what mine was....

TAMMMY!!!!! (that big-headed, big-hipped wreck of a doll when barbie had been the desired object).

merry everything & happy always!

6 (or so) days of christmas

2009-12-18T00:19:00.001-05:00

well, just about a week away. i've been busy scouring the web seeing what goodies i could find that might make shopping a bit easier. the choices abound! here are some ideas for the person who has everything (& i mean everything)!

what a fun game this could be! are you a foodie or do you know someone who is? this is a trivial pursuit-type game with trivia questions about food & chefs. available at www.uncommongoods.com for 18.

in this day & age, more & more people are focused on practical gifts & gifts that are useful & not just clutter. here are some band-aids- who doesn't have a need for those from time to time?

you knew i'd work bacon into this post, didn't you?

here's a nice gift for the person who has everything- a special wine glass with a diamond or two- for a cool 3700.

i suspect it is not dishwasher-safe.

how about that crafty, creative friend of yours? the one who loves to work with her/his hands & be creative. here is a kit to make a lamp from those pesky beer bottles that are just hanging around the house. you certainly will own a unique piece. this can be purchased for 40. at www.homewetbar.com. it just screams class!

know anyone who has a thing for clowns? well they won't after a peek at this baby! it's always intrigued me that my sister hates clowns- they really bug her. we had a friend who collected clown stuff & she got kind of creeped out when we went to his house- all those clowns, all those eyes....... now that i think about it, this might be just the decoration for the front door of her traditional midwest home. hope you're not reading this, kathy, & ruining the surprise.....

here's another item that you won't have to worry about duplicates when you give this gift. this hair clip (?) is clearly handcrafted. this was found on www.regretsy.com. if you haven't discovered regretsy yet, take a peek. it's a really fun site. the clown wreath was also unearthed from regretsy.

this is for that environmentally conscious recipient- a michelle tote bag for shopping. this is by Blue Q- they make great reusable totes for your grocery (& other) shopping.

how about those iphone users you know? here is holster/sleeve for your iphone- just slip it in the wristlet sleeve & you have your phone on you at all times with little fuss. this would be convenient for many folks who can't bear to be away from their mobile phones or feel compelled to answer their phone whenever it rings. this is available from www.beltoutlet.com.

here is a large box of retro candy- bit'o honey, clark bars, necco wafers to name a few. have a candy you miss & haven't seen for a while? it may be in this assortment. this is available from www.findagift.com for 28. another great place to find stuff they don't seem to make any more is at the www.vermontcountrylstore.com. the vermont general store holds a wealth of products that you thought you'd never see again. some brands/products available include gee your hair smells terrific shampoo, black jack gum, fizzies (remember those? they were the best when you put them on your tongue!) & the originial gumby & pokey figures. lots of stocking stuffer ideas.....

okay- just a few more...... have a need for multi-tasking? think this would make it through the TSA at airport security?

i am in love with this jonathon adler butter dish. kind of an unexpected piece on the table, don't you think? this little pretty is available from www.fredflare.com.

well that's the roundup for today. i have a few more tucked away to be revealed in the next couple of days.

happy shopping!

decorating for christmas

2009-12-12T11:45:00.000-05:00

well we got the tree up.

danny's done the lights.

of course i had to fix them.

then i decided why go to all that trouble?

meanwhile, i came across this advent calendar. now that's the true spirit of christmas!

finally, a reflection of our current troubled times.

12 (or so) days of christmas

2009-12-12T11:06:00.001-05:00

well, let's take a look at some of the goodies i've come across that can help with that last minute shopping. first we'll start with my favorite category- jewelry. that's always very easy for me because i love jewelry. i love looking at the design, how it's made, the use of dissimilar or unexpected materials & the architecture. i like all kinds- silver, gold, rose gold, stainless steel. i've seen some jewelry that integrates rubber & my friend cate turned me on to a guy that uses hardware items.

i sometimes imagine my jewelry has special energy & powers. one of my favorite pieces is a bracelet that danny bought me at harrod's in london a good number of years ago. he was over there with my brother-in-law (we call mr. armand sometimes- he has the best taste in clothing for women- he always knows what looks best on someone). danny knew i would probably want something from harrod's. he looked at alot of different things & found a bangle bracelet of interlocked bangles in yellow gold, white gold & rose gold. first off, he did the exchange rate incorrectly & ended paying way more than he wanted, but was too embarrassed to say so after the sale was rung. he agonized over it the next few days, bringing it back & then keeping it. when he finally decided to return, he went to harrod's & they were closed. so it was his as they left the next morning. this bracelet was simple & elegant in its simplicity- at that time, this was not my taste. what i loved, though, was the energy, though & care that went into the purchase- the fact that he kept wondering if it was right. since it is a simple & elegant piece, it is also timeless. i have never flown without it on my wrist. i have worn when i ran my two marathons. i wore it when i did my skydive. whenever i feel that i need to be reminded of the love my husband has for me, i make sure i have that bracelet on my wrist. i know he believes in me. any time i have given a presentation, that puppy has been on my wrist. i wil probably leave it to my niece (who has simple & understated taste) upon my demise & i want her to know the story. the fact that it is simple & unobtrusive means it has been easy to wear with all my different jewelry over the years. i can't remember the exact year they went- i think it was 1988- i still have the box the bracelet came in after all this time. i don't keep it in the box because i wear it so much. here is the bracelet.

so enough about that. on to some pretty potential christmas trinkets. here are some rings that caught my fancy.

i like the pearls- very simple- they would look nice stacked. i don't know the source of the two pearl rings (bad blogger) other than they were from etsy. i love the middle ring. i've been seeing a lot of oxidized silver in my meanderings. i loved the juxtaposition of the oxidized silver with the whiteness & purity of the pearl. this ring came from www.etsy.com/shop/senayakin. finally, the last ring by carla coruso (sadly no longer available) is a raw diamond on a thin gold band. i've had a thing for raw diamonds. first of all, they are much more affordable & i think they are interesting. the ring above sold for 180. at katy beh in new orleans (www.katybeh.com). it's a great gallery with wonderful artists.

for those unfamiliar with etsy - www.etsy.com- & i have discovered there are still some who are uninitiated, i have found lots of wonderful trinkets at etsy, a virtual shopper's delight of all things handmade. i have always liked the use of stones in jewelry & this bracelet appealed to me.

this can be found at www.etsy.com/shop/stonz. it is selling for 55. the stones move around the bracelet. i also find that i like jewelry i can play with.

one of my favorite artists that works with river stones is terry logan. her work can be found in galleries nationwide. here is an example of her work. she's quite a bit more than the etsy folks- that is one of the advantages of etsy. you can find some great bargains.

terry logan does pretty incredible work. i've seen many artists work with river stones, but i think very few do it as well.

finally, for your consideration, one of my favorite artists, gabrielle gould. garbrielle loves birds. i love her whimsical pins. i first encountered her work at the chicago museum of modern art (where i first came across terry logan, as well- they have a great shop). she is fanciful & fun. her pins & necklaces make me want to smile. here are a couple of her pieces. she's not easy to find. you will have to buy her stuff off the internet unless you are somewhere where her stuff is sold, which is too bad, because the pictures don't do it justice. i'm not aware of any galleries nearby that sell her stuff.

she often uses real feathers in her work. pretty fun, don't you think?

so that's it for today. i could go on & on & will restrain myself. let me know if you have any very favorite artists/jewelers for me to check out.

on the twilight train

2009-12-06T23:38:00.001-05:00

well, i went today to see the second movie of the twilight sage- new moon. new moon was my least favorite book of the four. i fell into the whole twilight thing by chance. i was at barnes & noble one afternoon ordering a coffee & they had twilight displayed on the counter. i picked it up & read it (because i couldn't just stand in line & wait without a distraction- i wonder sometimes where that ability went). the twenty-something girl behind the counter asked if i had read it- she said it was pretty good. the third book of the series was being released soon & they were having a release party. apparently i had missed some sort of cultural event here. she told me the book was very popular with the young adult crowd. i decided to give it a read. i finished it in less than a day & was back to get the second book, which sadly was not yet released in paperback. it would be released in a couple months. i could not wait. then it was the third book. all finished within two weeks. all i had to do was wait for the fourth & final book- i can't remember how long the wait was. i remember going in to buy form my local bookseller- i jokingly asked him to put it in a brown paper bag. it was such a guilty pleasure. many of my clients are young women under thirty- they were all seriously into the series.

for those that are uninitiated, the series follows the highly dramatic & romantic relationship of a vampire & bella swan, a mere mortal. to further complicate the drama, a long-time friend of bella's has been in love with her & it turns out he is a werewolf, the arch enemy of vampires. it's all very passionate & overdone & i loved every minute of reading it. although i did skim a lot. i always say my junk reads are like junk food- they are great going down, although when you're done, you can't remember what you ate & you're still hungry. there have been many breathless news reports following the romance of the two screen stars, in addition to the whole twilight hoopla. & there were a good number of middle-aged women at the movie this afternoon- this phenomenon is not limited to younger women. many of my friends have whipped through the series. interestingly, the only ones who haven't are the ones who have said "i don't like stories about vampires." so not only have us oldsters infiltrated & contaminated facebook, now we've jumped on the twilight train. is nothing sacred? & i do so hate being part of a stereotypical trend- it's kind of embarrassing - i always like to imagine myself as being more original than that.

i must confess that the series does bring back for me the agony & the ecstasy of young love. it was so.... intense. actually, at that time, everything was intense, now that i think about it. although torturous at times (actually, quite a bit for me)- when it wasn't.... it was great! things were so immediate & rationality had no place in my world as a adolescent/young adult. i do miss those times a bit.

one of the things i loved about the twilight series was the creation of a whole world with its own rules & paradigms. how wonderful it would be to be able to create something like that! i loved t he harry potter series & was so sad when it ended. this year was the first july in 6 years that the new book didn't arrive for me to savor. i would so look forward to it. i always pre-ordered (after the first one) so that the arrival would be automatic. i missed my friends annual visit this year. i totally lost myself in the series & just loved the books. i've been reminded of them this weekend b/c they movies have been on all weekend this weekend. i'm captivated by the wizarding world & all the nuances in it. what a wonderful mind to weave for us such a tale.

as a youngster, i liked the narnia series. i was never much of a fellowship of the ring girl- i liked the hobbit- had difficulty beyond the first book. i did enjoy the movies though. other than that, i'm not at all science fiction or fantasy oriented as far as genres go. those series have always intrigued me because, although an avid reader, i've never really liked fantasy or science fiction.

& so now, here i find myself eagerly awaiting the third movie (release date june 2010). no matter what the age or what the form, it's hard to refuse romance.

the spirit(s) of the season

2009-12-05T00:43:00.000-05:00

nothing says christmas like a unique christmas tree celebrating the christmas spirits (groan...)

it's a dog's life

2009-12-03T20:00:00.001-05:00

sadiedog on vacation- living like the dog goddess that she is.....

what i want for christmas

2009-11-29T01:54:00.003-05:00

enough said.

vacation

2009-11-28T14:41:00.000-05:00

well, i was lucky enough to have been on vacation this thanksgiving week. it is actually the continuation of a tradition & in these uncertain economic times, i feel very lucky to have been able to continue the tradition this year.

back in the mid-80's, a friend & colleague of mine purchased a home in kitty hawk, north carolina. we used to call it nagshead- now we call it the outer banks, or OBX. the cottage was formerly owned by the camp family, who owned union camp in franklin, va. union camp was acquired by international paper in 1999 & just last week, it was announced that the plant was closing. this was the primary employer for franklin. the cottage was an old nagshead cottage, built in the 40's that jane said needed a "little laura ashley." it was oceanfront & kitty hawk has been losing dune for years. the house had already been moved once to protect it. the tradition started when we would come down to jane's the friday after thanksgiving & stay until sunday. back then, thanksgiving was an owner's weekend. we did this for 5-6 years.

then my family started renting a cottage for the week of thanksgiving. you could find some pretty nice houses for not a lot of money. my family has been coming to the outer banks since i was 9 years old. we stayed in kitty hawk. there were two groceries- wee winks & anderson's market. typically, we brought our groceries because the prices were quite high. i used to hate this vacation. i don't like going in the ocean- i can swim- i just don't like sharing my space with unseen creatures & have always been afraid of jellyfish. i always thought nagshead would be a great place to recover from a heart attack because there was nothing to do. i would just hang on the beach, sometimes sulking & pouting- mostly finding shells. we started coming for one week & then two. we stayed in those old nagshead cottages- no tv, no a/c, no dishwasher. we had to go laundromats b/c no washer/dryer. after a bit, dad started bringing a tv with him. we would play games, tommy & kathy would gang up on me (as my sister said recently, "let's face it, mimi, you weren't exactly a joiner!"). as time went on, the beach became a bit more built up, with more restaurants. i remember one year we were down for two weeks & it rained every day. finally, in desperation, we drove to elizabeth city (the closest theater) where "gone with the wind" was showing- that was the first time i'd ever experienced an intermission in a movie.

eventually, however, as we got older there were more schedules to coordinate- both mom & dad worked & we worked too. when i was about 14 years old, we stopped going to the beach for our vacation. then, in 1978 or 79, we started again. i was out of college & seeing danny, so he accompanied me to the beach. we would bring down multiple friends of ours & mom & dad always had friends. the cottage could get quite crowded. by then, there were some bars to go to & always a cold one at the cottage. i would lay in the sun like a lizard for hours with baby oil slathered all over me. i remember that i would get sun poisoning on a regular basis (throwing up in the bushes by the tanarama motel on my way back to the cottage).

mom & dad liked to find a cottage & then just keep renting it. our first cottage was a small 3 bedroom job. then we graduated to a four bedroom. one of those had vinyl furniture- we called it the plastic palace. we moved from kitty hawk to kill devil hills- that cottage was by port'o call restaurant. getting to the ocean was like crossing the sahara. kathy had caitlin & all her baby paraphanalia to carry & danny had a broken ankle one year; after his accident, bad ankles. there was the week that danny & armand went down to shucker dave's- it turned out that it was shucker dave's last week in business. shucker dave's was within walking distance from the house. the boys came home- bobbing & weaving. danny was on crutches with his broken ankle- he still doesn't know how he got down the street & up the stairs. the boys slept on lawn chairs on the deck that night.

we then graduated to a larger cottage & mom & dad went to the beach for three weeks. that was great. i worked in norfolk then & would take two weeks off & go to the office one day in the second week & do a 12-hour day. the summer before grad school, during grad school & after grad school, i went for three weeks. that was pretty heavenly. eventually, we stopped the summer vacation at the beach as a family- i'm sure it was a scheduling thing again.

then we started the thanksgiving week as a family. we did that for a number of years- tommy came out some years. it got more complicated when kathy & armand moved to illinois. so we stopped. we spent one thanksgiving at a hotel with mom & dad & a couple with them in williamsburg.

the year we got sadie, i decided i wanted to start going to the beach again & danny & i rented a house. mom & dad came down, as did some other friends. we have done the week at the outer banks since. this year, the two couples that typically come, could not. we rented a 2 bdrm, 2 bath cottage in southern shores that was just perfect & it was just the two of us with sadiedog.

everytime i cross the bridge over the sound, all those memories of so many years come flying back to me. to say the outer banks has changed is a colossal understatement. i remember when the mcdonald's arrived. there is a sense of peace & a touch of home that exists here for me.

we like our thanksgiving tradition & plan to continue it for some time. there are days we don't leave the cottage- we just pal around watching movies, reading books, messing around. of course, we take sadie for a walk- we just don't get in the car.

as much as i don't like routine in my life, i do seem to treasure rituals. & i plan to be here next year- probably with our other friends to celebrate thanksgiving & sadie's 8th birthday!

the perfect tool for thanksgiving

2009-11-23T21:29:00.013-05:00

don't go the thanksgiving table without this little baby. one of our old family traditions was sending pea missiles at the thanksgiving table, usually instigated by my brother, tommy aka "perfect" as mom refers to him. needless to say, mom nor dad was particularly impressed by this tradition, especially when grandma was in attendance. there was a certain skill to getting the proper arc & the aim just right. too much of a reaction from the intended target usually resulted in a rebuke by the parental units, while the true culprit grinned shamelessly. if we had these babies at the table, no telling how far we could have gotten those peas. & a tool like this would make it possible to utilize other objects that a spoon did not handle well because they needed more torque- cranberries, a whole slice of jellied cranberry, yams, dinner rolls- oh my- the possibilities.

i would love to say that we have grown up & matured & no longer engage in such shenanigans. i would like to... but the truth is it has been a while since we've had thanksgiving dinner together as a family- all of us together. i harbor no illusions that such behavior would be extinguished. we have not adequately matured & being in the presence of one another, all three of us (tommy, kathy & i) only results in us growing down rapidly. i hope we never grow up. there isn't a day that goes by that i don't feel very lucky to have the siblings that i do & to enjoy them so much. i always have fun with my brother & sister. & we have all married well & enjoy our partners as well. it doesn't get much better than that, does it?!

when i was younger, i would sometimes envy my friends who were only children because they seemed to get more of everything. they didn't have to bother with sharing rooms, or toys, or games, or being teased by siblings, or dodging flaming arrows, or having their toothbrushes dropped in the toilet... you get the idea. now i think i am lucky that i am not an only.

this is one of my favorite quotes about brothers & sisters-

"To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers & sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds & secrets, family griefs & joys. We live outside the touch of time."

- Claire Ortega

& for me, this is true. when i'm with tommy (aka perfect) & kathy, we are outside the touch of time. & we always will be.

let's dress up that bathroom

2009-11-22T20:15:00.000-05:00

so i don't know how i came across this topic- maybe thinking of that gift for that someone who has everything. the bath is such an easy room to decorate & make a statement, given it's frequently diminutive size. for most of us, dressing up our bathrooms is not going to involve a lot furniture & complicated decorating. one way to dress to impress for our bathrooms is to use the toilet seat lid to full impact. below follow some examples to inspire.these are from pressalit. they are not actual toilet seats - just concepts.
these are also pressalit- i love the fluffy one.
another pressalit- how is this for a concept toilet?

the above beauties are from sellers on etsy. there are some real winners there- i love the mermaid, don't you?

& the poodles? very classic.

so if you have that decorating urge & don't feel like taking on a big project, here you go. let your imagination run wild.

i love small bowls

2009-11-14T00:12:00.003-05:00

i have always enjoyed surrounding myself with beautiful, unusual, funky, fun or just too cool things. i am good at finding things that meet that criteria & enjoy it a lot. i have to watch, though, because i have a lot of stuff. the last few years, i have been trying to focus on things that are functional- lord knows i have too much stuff & if it doesn't serve a function, i don't need it. there is certainly a place for art & aesthetics- there is also a limit to such things. one of the things i have always liked are small bowls. they can be useful- for sauces, condiments, rings, keys, jewelry other than rings. & they are just so darn cute.

a little past season- but not by much.

small bowls are something that my sister & i have both enjoyed. here is a nice stack of small bowls in various colors.

so how small is small? by my standards, we're talking anywhere from 1 1/2" up to 6" across or high. there are smaller bowls that are small for serving bowls, but large for small bowls. we're not including those. i like the design on this little beauty .

these are bright & colorful with a design that pops.

i think the selection of bowl this speaks for itself. (circa ceramics- etsy)

this is kind of cool, doncha think? it's nice to do different things with shapes of bowls.

here are some bowls that introduce some color into the equation.

it's hard to read in the picture- this bowl has written on it 'thank you.' i thought this might make a nice hostess gift. you can always find a use for a small bowl.

this small bowl is created from industrial felt (feltplanet- etsy)

these two little beauties are also from etsy. i've been liking green a lot for a good number of years now & think i can no longer consider it a 'stage.'

this is a bowl i picked up at one of my favorite galleries in the outer banks- the greenleaf gallery in duck. it's been around forever & i like their stuff a lot. i'm not sure how this is done- the design is set into the bowl- i think they do it like slicing somehow-

here is another favorite of mine- the black sheep. i've always identified with the black sheep. i found this baby in australia when i was here several years ago. my friend kate & i went to the australia zoo (steve irwin's zoo in brisbane- a moment of silence for steve) & on the way back, we stopped a small town & i found this bowl. little bowls are a great item to buy when traveling - they don't take up a lot of space. i'm forever picking up little bowls for my sister in my travels.

i think this one appealed to me because i like the clean graphic design. oh yeah- & it's green....

that's all for today. what do you like to collect or treat yourself with?

the ravages of time

2009-11-11T12:21:00.004-05:00

a short post today- time is hard. i'm still amazed when i wake up every day & discover that i am over 50 years old. how did this happen! luckily, i'm immature & so i feel youthful, while fully accepting that those two qualities are far from similar. anyway, we all struggle with the march of time- some more gracefully than others. i found this on tweet- so i'm cribbing it. pictures really do say it all, eh?

even the boss has lost the good battle with time. that ass was amazing- still pretty good, but there's a difference between 41 years old & 60 years old. of course, he's still uber hot!

a brief moment to honor all the veterans who have been willing to offer the supreme sacrifice in defense of our freedom (& other things at times, but that's a different discussion) & to those who did make the supreme sacrifice. thank you.

happy wednesday to all -

why dogs hate halloween

2009-10-31T13:18:00.012-04:00

okay- i will confess i cribbed part of this post from an email sent by my good friend, cathy. i also scoured the web a bit. i'm not sure which is my favorite. anyway, enjoy. well, there are a couple that made me giggle out loud. these are two of them.

gotta love the star wars theme! this just made me giggle- what a hottie!

i give this high points for creativity.

i love the deadpan look on the face-

what a great udder!

i hope that everyone (two & four legged) has a happy halloween!

another long break

2009-10-28T22:44:00.003-04:00

well, it's been another long break from blogging. i crack myself up because i write the blog all the time in my head as i go about things- it just never makes it to the computer. since i've been away a bit, i'm a bit lazy with breaking this fast & thought i'd share a story i picked up on the news. some of you may have come across it already. the headline is "MAN DRIVING MOTORIZED LAZY BOY CONVICTED OF DUI ." i can't decide which part of this is more disturbing- the DUI, the fact that he motorized the chair & drove it in traffic, the fact that he had a passenger with him when he was arrested or the fact that it had a nitrous oxide booster. the chair also had headlights & a steering wheel. here are the pix i picked up from the internet- the chair was equipped with a stereo and cup holders (DUH- why motorize a lazy boy if you're not going to have cup holders?).

the whole event occurred after the driver ran into a parked car while leaving the parking lot of the local watering hole. his BAC was .29 (that means about 30% of his blood was alcohol). danny & i are working on a top ten clues you may have an alcohol problem- this will definitely be in the top ten.....

if you're interested, the chair is being auctioned by the police department- such luxury could be yours! i do think it is a requirement that one be intoxicated if one should choose to drive this conveyance.

a more personal post will follow shortly.

some things that annoy me (not in order)

2009-09-02T23:00:00.006-04:00

1. undercooked bacon

2. when my dog has more space in the bed than i do.

3. doing 55 or 65 in the left lane

4. that npr repeats their morning show every hour when some days it takes me

longer than an hour to get dressed

5. owners that don't clean up their dog poop

6. ... in my yard

7. that uggs are so ugly & yet so comfortable

8. that sleep is required & i seem to need 8 hours

9. people who talk on their cell phones while conducting a transaction

(both ways- clerks & customers)

10. people that are happy & perky & positive all the time- how do they do that?

11. punishment lights (traffic lights that last way too long for not busy intersections & do not have a trip function)

12. cyclists who blaze through red lights & stop signs (they usually are the ones not wearing a helmet)

13. people who don't return shopping carts to the cart corral & leave in a parking space

14. people who talk loudly on their cell phones in public (& are usually sitting next to me) & their conversations are mind-numbingly inane.

15. george bush's laugh/snicker

16. when my husband wanders away with the shopping cart in the grocery store & i'm left juggling 6 cans

17. people who answer their cell phone only to say "can i call you right back?" why bother to answer? let em leave a message.

18. people who invade your personal space at the checkout counter by edging you out to place their items

19. people who sing along with the cast during a musical.

20. people weaving, driving too slow, drifting into lanes, etc b/c they are talking on their cell phones

21. mornings.

22. squirrels

23. comcast &/or verizon- they are interchangeable

danny's list - things that annoy me

1. everyone.

2. everything.

what would be on your list?

things that scare me

2009-08-31T23:02:00.003-04:00

one of the things that i love about having a blog with no real focus is that it has no real focus & one of the things that is hard & difficult about a blog with no real focus is..... it has no real focus. that frees me up to write about pretty much anything. so before i share some thoughts on things that scare me, i thought i'd share some thoughts on "why blog?"

i have come to realize that blogging on a topic helps me to think better & deeper. it is a form of introspection, albeit in a public forum. whether or not anyone reads this, it takes the form of a conversation & thus there is a different dimension than i get from journaling. it can be self-absorbed & often is. hopefully, at times, it provides me a means to entertain. blogging allows me to play with writing & expressing myself. & today's is a bit more introspective than usual.

that said...

i fulfilled a long wished-for desire this month when i jumped out of a perfectly good airplane. i've wanted to skydive for a very long time now. i'm not sure why. it seemed like it would be quite the rush. & that it would feel empowering at some level. my opportunity arose late last spring. my good friend, suzi, invited me to with her & some other neighborhood friends to drive down to florida to see another friend. ev had lived in the neighborhood & was part of a group we once had focused on being healthier called the goodbodies. suzi had gone to visit ev for the last 4 years & this year, in celebration of ev's 80th birthday, she & ev were going skydiving. boy, did my ears perk up! an opportunity was presenting itself. i had wanted to with suzi, et al last year, but had a scheduling conflict. & this year they were going skydiving!!!! bonus round! & suzi & nancy jo like to drive, so that meant i would be a passenger in the car for 10+ hours- that means uninterrupted knitting with none to very few distractions & lots of conversation during knitting. double bonus round!!!!

we got to florida & made reservations for our dive. ev decided to wait until the end of month when her actual birthday was & when all four of her children would be there to do the dive, so it was just suzi & i. the whole reason this came up at all is that within 5 minutes of ev & bob's house in deland was skydive deland. skydive deland developed the tandem jump, which is what we would be doing. you are literally attached to an experienced diver & jump together, with one parachute. both suzi & i ended up some pretty cute tandem pals.

here is suzi & i after we were outfitted & also a picture with our gal pals & former goodbodies. ev is not in that picture, unfortunately.

here is a picture of ev with nancy- aren't they both beautiful?

here are some shots from the dive itself. i cannot describe what an exhilirating feeling it was! we flew to 14,000 feet for the jump. then freefall for about 5,000 feet at about 110 - 120 mph. after that, the parachute is opened (buzz kill!) & you float purposefully toward your landing spot. it's actually kind of noisy during the freefall with the wind whipping around & everyone has a don king hairdo. it's very quiet once the chute opens. we could see orlando from where we dove. it's quite an experience to take that step out of the plane- i didn't know what to do with my hands. i just wanted to shout "woo hoo" all the way down (maybe i did). i wasn't all that nervous as i was just imagining it would be incredible. and it was. i'm wanting to do it again. i want to do it alone this time, though. they offer an accelerated freefall- you take class for about 6 hours & then jump by yourself. there are some safety features built in (i'm not sure of the details). it's kind of helpful at this stage to not focus too much on the details- the waiver form you sign is rather intimidating. they repeatedly remind you that death can be a side effect. i didn't read half of it. i understood that i wasn't holding them liable for anything from a hangnail to my demise. if i think about the potential consequences, i just get paralyzed, so i don't think about them. an immature, but effective, strategy.

i don't look like i'm having much fun, do i? i look scared, huh? & don't you love that don king hairdo?

an amazing experience. & stepping out of a perfectly good airplane is one of the things that scare me (at least intellectually). i just wanted to experience that moment where you are at the door & looking out at the sky & the ground below you & thinking, do i.......? it isn't at the top of the list, though.

other things that scare me

1. rollercoasters

2. snakes

3. snakes

4. snakes

5. jellyfish in the ocean

6. big snakes

7. being true to myself when it is not the popular or majority choice

8. little snakes

9. knitting a lace pattern

10. not drinking

11. going to my 35th high school reunion

how's that for a segueway?

this month, which although scorchingly hot & humid, was a month of significant events. on august 6th, i celebrated my 25th anniversary of the last time i took a drink. talk about things that scare me!!! i couldn't imagine a life without alcohol. i was scared i wouldn't be fun anymore & no one would want to hang around with me. i was scared i would be bored to tears. i was scared i wouldn't have fun any more. i was scared i would fail at it. simultaneously, i was scared to continue drinking. it didn't work well for me. i was incapable of moderation at drinking. & this conclusion was reached after years & years of trying to moderate my alcohol intake. & here i am at 25 years of sobriety. let me put that into perspective. when i quit drinking, fancy wine was liebfraumilch or blue nun. mateus was a mid-range wine. there were no microbreweries. we were excited when coors came east b/c they could refrigerate it in distribution. there were, of course, international beers available. lowenbrau, st. pauli girl & heineken constituted the upper end of the brewski market. i remember drinking elephants (a danish export) when we used to got the brickskeller in the district, or the cellar door.

they did not have pre-mixed cocktails as they do now. how convenient that would have been! it does seem amazing to me that it has been 25 years. & i have continued to have fun, be fun & people still seem to hang around with me (actually probably more than when i was drinking, truth be told). i've not been bored.

the other scary thing i did this month was go to my 35th high school class reunion. now i was not what you would call popular in high school. i did know some people. my graduating class was 500. my sister was two grades below me; my brother two grades above me, so that i also knew a lot of people that were not in my class. & boy have i gained weight, even since our last reunion i attended 10 years ago. that was the scariest part. so i went with my girlfriend i've known most of my life & we had fun. we left kind of early. there weren't a lot of folks i knew & i'd already put in time standing around & feeling awkward when i was in high school. so i decided after i saw & talked to the folks i knew that i no longer needed to stand around & feel awkward. hallalejah! i love being able to make those choices today!

so an exciting month with things that have required i go to the edge of my comfort zone. & you know, one of the nice things about getting older is that i get more & more comfortable going to that edge.

road trip

2009-08-01T16:43:00.023-04:00

it's been a while since i've done a road trip. & i've got another one coming up next week to florida. road trips are glorious because i can knit if i'm not driving. apparently, i'm a better passenger than i am a driver b/c most folks are happy to sit behind the wheel & let me "passenger." last week, i flew to indianapolis & met my sister to drive back with her as she made her way to virginia. so i had several days with long stretches of mostly uninterrupted knitting. kathy & i had three days to get to virginia & no schedule. it's about a 15 hour drive from indy to richmond.

we decided to take the route that would swing us by portsmouth, ohio. my mother grew up in portsmouth. both sets of her great-grandparents were immigrated from germany & married & settled in portsmouth, ohio. as a matter of fact, the four families that comprise both sets of grandparents have been marrying at st. mary's catholic church in portsmouth ever since. uncle johnny broke the tradition by marrying elsewhere in ohio. i have a church pew from st. mary's church that i got from my mother when they downsized last year. it feels pretty special. my sister & i noticed that there was another catholic church in town, closer to the home my mom grew up in & i asked mom about that. she said that was the irish catholic church & that they weren't allowed to go there. that was for the irish catholics. back then a german catholic marrying an irish catholic was a mixed marriage. st mary's appears to be in pretty good shape & is an active parish today. as active as anything in portsmouth, ohio appears to be.

portsmouth is a river town along the ohio river. my grandpa owned a hardware store with his uncles that was started by his father. floods were a fact of life in portsmouth. the big flood was in 1937 (my mom was 13 years old). this picture shows the water mark for 1937. now they have a flood wall that surrounds the town. kind of like closing the barn door after the cows got out.

grandma & grandpa built a house. not up on the hill where the wealthier families lived, but down closer to town. they built a house that was impressive; however, mom said it was in the wrong part of town. mom said they were house poor. they built a duplex so that my mom's grandpa could live next door. by the time we came along, grandpa sommer had long been dead & grandma had converted the house to two apartments. betty lived upstairs & always had candy for us when we would come to visit. we went to portsmouth every summer until i was about 9 years old. that was when we started going to nagshead for our family vacations. but back to portsmouth. i remember my grandmother braiding my hair on the back porch when i was a little girl.

my brother, sister & i would play canasta for days when we visited portsmouth. we could up on the second floor & find my mom's old toys & furniture. portsmouth was the first time we encountered poor people. there were lots of kids, always dirty & without shirts & supervision. lots of dogs roaming around too. we were able to walk to a grocery store by going down the alley- mr. trigg's store. we would go & buy candy with money from grandma & grandpa. kathy & i would talk jibberish in the hopes that mr. triggs would think that we were foreign. it was so cool to walk down there by ourselves. my grandfather loved to work with wood & we all grew up with a deep appreciation for wood, quality & old things. i remember the smell of all the oak in grandma's house- the doors, especially. many warm memories. here are some old photos of my mom's family in front of 5th at adams. don't you just love my mom's hat in the second photo? although it may seem an obvious question as to who my mother is in the photo (she's on the far right), upon a second glance grandma's hat is rather fetching as well, don't you think? that pic was taken in 1944.

grandma moved to a retirement home in northern virginia in 1976. i hadn't been to portsmouth since 1969 when my grandfather died. we went to portsmouth in 1996 to bury my grandmother, who died one month short of her 100th birthday. we went by house- 5th at adams- & my mother, aunt & uncle were just heartbroken. windows were broken, the house was in general disrepair. they were so sad. they made another trip in 2001 & learned that the house had recently been purchased by a young couple who had plans to fix it up. mom left from that trip hopeful that the house might be improved.

so kathy & i decided to drive by the house & were delighted to find that the young couple had been true to their word. we knocked on the door only to find no one home. many improvements had been undertaken & the house looked so much better. portsmouth is a relatively depressed town- it did not look like much was vital there. mom said it hasn't been the same since the shoe factory left. it was a former manufacturing town (selby shoes & us shoe used to have plants there). it is like so many small towns in our country, gasping for life & somehow managing to stay alive. i drive through them or by them & look with appreciation upon the stately old homes, mourning their past glory. & each of those homes holds memories for someone. my grandmother was a true german- she sadly had no sense of humor & the most tender thing i remember about her is when she used to braid my hair while my mom shucked corn, all of us sitting on the back porch.

so the town is dying & probably has been for a long time, but 5th at adams has found some new life. it will always live on in me, of course. everytime i look at the church pew, or my grandmother's dining room table in my dining room or the side table from her house in the living room. today these things have a history that is known & stories that still get told- one day soon they won't.

ODW (objets de desir) wednesday on a saturday

2009-08-01T07:54:00.012-04:00

today i decided to tackle home decor. i have scoured the internet for some cool items & objects that i covet. i hope you enjoy.

i've always loved home decor & have often thought how fun it would be to be an interior designer. it's so fun to play with houses, don't you think? my mother has always had a good eye for such things. she was furnishing her home with antiques when it was sooo uncool. i remember my friend's houses were furnished with suites of furniture, all bought at once & very match-y. i used to wish my mother would have the sense to furnish our home in such a manner. luckily, i grew out of this phase quickly. i came to love my mother's ability to put things together. here is a picture of her bedroom in their retirement apartment, which they moved into a year and a half ago. we hadn't put the pictures on the wall yet.

here is mom's bathroom. she loved my closet room so much that she wanted to use the same color in her bathroom in the new apartment. this is the robin egg blue from the tiffany & co box. i think it is rather striking. we had lowe's color match it for us.

now for the little pretties i found in my searches.

anyone who has been to my house knows i'm a sucker for a good chandelier. my chandelier lady & i believe your happiness can be measured by the number of chandeliers in your home. my obsession started when i decided i wanted a chandelier in my kitchen. i wasn't going to rest until i had one. now all my kitchen lights are chandeliers. as a matter of fact, i think it's time to change one or two of them & switch it up a bit. that's the problem with "collecting" chandeliers- it has distinct limits. i've always wanted one for my office. we have those acoustical tile ceilings, so that won't work. perhaps i could use this as a substitue- no hanging involved. this is one of those vinyl wall decals. i think it would look great on my dark barn red walls at my office, don't you?

i've seen this artist's work in various catalogues & really like it. she takes the pages of old books (often in german) & fancies them up with various sayings. this is one of my favorites. i don't know what it is about them that is so appealing- i just like them. the artist is kim smith, the company is smith & co & the website is www.vintagesmith.com.

i have wanted this table for a long time. it's right up there with the iconic ghost chair by phillipe stark.
in my mind, i've seen the ghost chair pulled up to my antique drop-leaf walnut dining room table. i like the contrast. i've wanted these chairs ever since i can remember. when we were little, my sister & i used to play with our matchbox series. my mom had this great florally designed rug that had a design that worked for streets & houses. we used to pick our houses & i would rip pages out of magazines to decorate them. the ghost chair was always a fave (i forget the year it came out) and the bruer chair another standby. i like to live in space that is fun & has a sense of humor. a house should smile. i think that is way the illusion table appeals to me. for some reason, i smile when i see it.

these are some upholstered pieces that i liked. nothing better than taking an antique item & upholstering it a contemporary fabric, like the red love seat above. it kind of pops. & the black & white is never a bad combo- always works, always will.

i love this old baby bath. it could be a great planter. with glass on top, a console table. a good item for a screened porch. a magazine holder? a catch-all? it has a sweetness to it i like. any other ideas?

first up is alessi's pito water kettle by frank gehry (1992). the wood is mahogany. quite elegant, don't you think? frank gehry has recently started designing for tiffany & co, doing the fish series. nice lines, clean & smooth. it makes me want to have a cup of tea just to pour the hot water. should you be considering this little pretty, be prepared to drop $400.

this falls into the sense of humor category. a fruit bowl, made of ...... fruit. kind of cool, huh? & it does pull forth a smile.

& my piece de resistance- ta-da. drum roll..... you supply the books- he makes the table. you can do a theme- travel books, favorite books, books about a topic that appeals to you. endless possibilities abound. i love this idea. this retails for about $1800. in the worst thing a blogger can do, i failed to make a note of the source of this way cool item & now i cannot locate it. i will keep searching. i need to start remembering to make note of the sources of things.

so that's the latest & greatest for this week in home decor. who knows what ODW/S may target next week- perhaps ODW/S may move to a bi-weekly or monthly format- it is rather time intensive & even our uber consumer culture has some limits on the types of stuff that are consumable. we'll have to see.

happy decorating!

ODW (objets de desir) wednesday- a little late. dressing our feet

2009-07-16T01:14:00.016-04:00

when i was in high school, i got my first job in a fast food joint (hardee's). i still shudder when i remember the fabric of the uniform- it was awful, awful, awful. there was not a natural fiber in the thing. that job did not last long & i began my career in retail. i sold shoes & thus an obsession was born. & from the start i loved loved loved high shoes!

i was never one for sneakers (that's what we called them then). i've always had a penchant for platforms. i was so happy when they came back in style a few years back & i could replenish my dwindling supply. i had a pair of kelly green platforms with almost 6" heels- there is a picture hanging about the house somewhere- i'll have to hunt it up. i would wear those & work a 12 hour day & be on my feet all day long- how did i do that? i did san francisco in 4" black patent nine west stilettos. what was i thinking?

so for today's objets de desir- SHOES!

so these are actually not ODs- more of a curiosity. look at these puppies- the only question i have - in addition to who the heck would wear these & with what?- is why would anyone pay the asking price of $600?!

now here is the perfect pair of shoes, or so i think. classic in their own way & i love the touch of red on the sole & the heel. these are christain laboutin- truly a desired object & one that will never grace my feet. i do love these shoes though.

when my friend stewart got married, she treated herself to a pair of manalos. if you don't know what a manola is, this is not the post for you. highly coveted & made into an icon by the girls of sex in the city. she let me try them on- they were heavenly & just the idea of having a pair

of blahniks on my feet.......

i do have some ambivalence about the shoes i love. as far as i'm concerned, many of them look like "pole" shoes. if you don't know what pole shoes, ask someone who gets around a bit more than you do. i remember watching chris rock once doing a show & he was saying he had a daughter. he said as a dad, you only goal is to keep your daughter out of lucite! maybe he was thinking of something like these

or these?

i had a pair of these that accompanied me on my honeymoon (they were white & the heels were higher). i loved them.

i love these platforms. they are made by kork-ease. kork-ease was very big in my teen & college years. many of you will remember the beige color they had & the crossed straps. i had the good sense not to purchase these. i wanted to, though! the reason i didn't purchase them is because i'm over 50 now & the platform is a bit - ummm- shall we say over the top!

& who doesn't love color in their shoes? i've lusted after a pair of red patent something or others for years. i almost bought a pair of red patent boots last year (they were flats), but at the end of the day, $300 seemed a pretty penny to pay for them. too much. i couldn't do it. any of these shoes below would be a great substitute for yearning for red.

the shoes below are very interesting. they are all handpainted. i think they're kind of cool & definitely creative. she sells on etsy. i bought a pair of shoes from her that i think are very cool. i should have taken a pix of them.

now these are boots! i love these & would love to own them & wear them. i must confess; however, strolling along in these is not in my skill set. they are so gorgeous though. too bad they are so slutty looking. oh, well. i'll never have them b/c they are christian laboutin & very dear. if i were a celebrity, i would totally wear high

shoes all the time b/c you would always have people. people to carry things for you, people to carry an extra pair of shoes for you, people to grab you if you tottered so that you wouldn't fall. with shoes like this, you need people. i think these would be fun with skinny jeans or leggings. & a big old warm sweater. hand knit, of course!

& here's the deal. at the end of the day, what is my favorite pair of shoes? the world's uglist shoes- my UGGS! they are like walking around in really warm & soft bedroom slippers. your feet don't get happier than when they have a pair of uggs on their feet. too bad they are so ugly. i wear them nonstop in the winter- whenever i can. they are uber- comfortable- they are the bomb. if you haven't tried a pair on- do yourself a favor. try them now, though- they sell out early every year.

so, what shoes do you lust after & have you met your soul's desire?

remember, it's not who you are, it's what you wear.......

objets de desir wednesday (ODW)

2009-07-08T00:06:00.023-04:00

here are some objects of desire i have come across in my real & virtual travels. i hope you enjoy.

i certainly don't need any more jewelry. the difficulty is that i love jewelry. i love looking at the design, the materials, the architecture..... so, i'll just share some of my finds. no need to purchase.

these are silver hoops with pyrite ("fool's gold") nuggets.

they can be found at www.joyodesigns.com.

i liked the idea of earrings with fool's gold on them & think the nuggets look meaty & solid on delicate wires.

these are by the same designer. the gems are rubies. i think the lines of these earrings are nice & like the way she's cut the rubies

to be so angul

ar with the circular lines of the earrings. i like her jewelry.

this sort of appealed to me. there is a collection of jewelry that this designer has created using vintage maps. i liked the idea of the bracelet. i thought it would be cool to perhaps make a bracelet out of places you had lived or favorite places visited- a nice personalized trinket for someone.

it would have to be someone pretty special given the price of this objet de desir!

anyone travel? my travel days are mostly behind me, alas. i still do a little bit of travel & thought these were an attractive way to fulfill the 3-3-1 TSA requirement. this is one of the nicest sets i've seen. this could also be a nice gift for someone. these can be found at www.wishingfish.com.

stuart smalley & kumar go to washington

2009-07-07T22:48:00.003-04:00

well, yet another attempt to see if i can't become a regular poster here on this unfocused blog. i'm just back from book group- our book was the inheritance: the world obama confronts & the challenges to american power. i had read about one quarter of the book-most of the group had not read it or had only started it (in our defense, we ended up meeting a week earlier than usual at the last minute). what i have read of it is quite interesting- it does activate the old anger at W- amazing how fast it comes up. & that's just on the basis of reading the part about iraq & iran & afghanistan.

politics have been interesting lately. stuart smalley is going to washington- how weird is that? i remember when reagan came to washington & everyone talked about surreal it was to have a former actor as president- now we've really spread the surreal-ity! so minnesota finally settled the election & al franken is our newest senator- & kumar in the white house?! kumar (actor kal penn) started work yesterday as the associate director in the office of public liaison with an emphasis on connecting the white house with asian-american & pacific-islander communities, as well as arts groups. i sure hope he returns to the role of kumar- harold & kumar go to white castle is truly a classic. it's right up there with bill & ted's excellent adventure- the only rule for which keanu was truly suited & well-cast. & what about the weird sarah palin resignation- rather bizarre. but worry not, for some things never change- marion berry has again been arrested (this time for stalking a woman). it's comforting to know that we can count on some things.

so, i've done some soul searching about the difficulty of posting for me. part of it is my usual pattern of heading out of the gate strong & then kind of losing steam .... i also decided i didn't have a particularly "blog-able" life. but then again, how many people who blog do? & perhaps i can write a bit gooder than many others? so i have a blog without a clear focus & a not especially blog-able life. & yet i do want to continue on with it- just because. who knows- something interesting could happen. & maybe if i do it regularly & make it sufficiently interesting, someone may read it regularly??!!

so i've once again broken the blog/post fast- i'm certain i can develop more regularlity. because i'm good enough & i'm smart enough & doggone it, people like me.

has it been THAT long? a miscelleanous collection of events & a request for help

2009-05-08T01:07:00.012-04:00

well, it has been a while since i've posted. i'm not completely sure how that happened. i often find myself writing bits & pieces of a post frequently- in the shower, driving, walking sadie. actually posting them is a different story! the good thing about not posting for a while is that things happen. generally, my life, which is a good life, consists of work, knitting, reading & danny. i've been a bit light on the friends time lately- need to do something about that!! too much work, really. the past month has been rather busy. my brother, tommy, his wife dee & my niece grace were out for about a week at the end of april. grace has not been out east for about 10-13 years. it was a great visit - though not long enough. isn't it nice to feel that way when you visit with family? grace is a great young woman- it was fun to spend time with her. we went to berkeley plantation- the day was beautiful outside. grace is studying english & wanted to visit a plantation to get a feel for the South- the south she read about in william faulkner, flannery o'conner & various other southern writers. the virginia plantations don't really give you a feel for the south like those farther south do- with the steaming heat, the spanish moss, the cotton fields- virginia's plantations are often very colonial & more remniscent of england than the south. anyway, it was fun to go & a nice way to spend the day. that's dee & my mom in the one photo leaving berkeley plantation & tommy & grace in the other. virginia really is so beautiful in the spring...

so the day tommy & dee left (grace left earlier in the week), i went to my first sheep & wool festival. it was the maryland sheep & wool festival which is like mecca for knitters & spinners. i am only now learning more about yarn- there is a lot to know. the maryland sheep & wool festival was...... well....... it was wet. very very wet!!

as we were preparing to leave, roz mentioned she had brought her rain boots & i remembered that i had a pair of plastic rain boots. so we stopped by the house to pick them up on the way out of town. thank you, roz! was that ever a good call!!?? it rained all day long... & then some. but the knitting crowd bravely trudged on to inspect the possibilities. it is very cool to see the yarn in all its inceptions. a lot of it is hand-dyed & you can buy the fleece directly. they have sheep for sale & lots of fiber & year ready to be spun. i don't know that i'll ever be a spinner, but it sure is cool to look at.

there were lots of very patient men standing about all day. they just stood around, some with their hat in their hands, probably trying to figure out what quirk of fate landed them here- standing the muddy, rainy field of the howard county, md fairgrounds waiting for the love of their life to end her orgasmic pleasure at the feel of the last fiber she held in her hands. i would feel compassion for them at any time, but especially so in the pouring rain. & we were all there in search of this...... the perfect yarn for their project & the yarn they must possess.

i had gone in search of yarn for my next project- a sweater i was going to make for myself. the picture of it is below. i am hopeful that when i put it on, i'll look like her- & that is more likely to happen if i knit it out of the perfect yarn! i did find the perfect yarn for this project- a malibrigo & silk blend that is soft, soft, soft. i chose the undyed yarn, so it is in its natural color- an off white/cream kind of thing. i think it will look fabulous & this project should challenge me a bit more than i've allowed some of my past projects to do. it's a cool looking sweater, don't you think? i can't wait to see how it looks. i know it will change my life. i'll be popular, smell incredible, i'll never have to shave my legs again & sadie will decide i'm her favorite instead of danny. of course, if i use the wrong yarn- well,none of this shall come to pass!

the other fun thing going on at the maryland sheep & wool festival were the sheep & animals. i had no idea there so many different varieties of sheep. some photos of some of the more interesting ones follow. the one is called a jacob sheep. the little animal with the baby horns is a kashmir goat- yep, that's where it comes from. they produce the raw material for cashmere. i think the jacob sheep looks like he belongs in that early scene from the first star wars movie.

the sheep next to the jacob is a black/white face sheep. i guess they ran out of creative names. & speaking of creative names......

the big news & the place we need help is..... drum roll, please.... we are the proud owners of a boat. a sailboat to be specific. danny took sailing lessons last summer & fell in love with it & has been looking for a boat- we found one. it appears below. our boat needs a name & any help is appreciated. so far, the names under serious consideration are Knot Knamed, SeaWord, WindWord, Yellow Beach House & Sea- bago. any & all suggestions are appreaciated.

so, i've successfully broken my fasting since the last post. maybe somebody is even reading this. anyway, happy spring

my favorite kind of day

2009-03-28T22:21:00.006-04:00

today was my favorite kind of day for it held an event that comes with regularity, in varying spans of frequency & must be savored. today i finished both books i was reading & now i get to choose the next book. i just finished outliers by malcolm gladwell ( i haven't figured out how to underline in the blog yet). it was a wildly interesting book about the elements that contribute to success. i confess that i have also really enjoyed his other two books- the tipping point & blink. i recommend all three books. the other book i finished was the thirteenth tale. this was a book group selection some months back & i missed that group & never read the book. everyone in the group loved it, so i decided to check it out. it was a great book. pretty fascinating plot & well written. i'm still not sure i've figured out the mystery- it had me thinking for a while though. & this month's book is the painted veil by somerset maugham. i saw the movie pretty recently & i'm going to cheat this month & not read the book. sometimes i just want to read something that i want to read.

i keep a stack of books that is open-ended. i used to literally stack them next to my side of the bed. in the interest of marital harmony; however, i have found different ways to maintain The Stack. now i have a shelf in the bookcase dedicated to The Stack, as well as a basket on the floor & some stacks on table next to the bed. Often my eyes are bigger than my time. The Stack includes professional reading, as well as pleasure reading. some books have been in The Stack for way too long, yet i can't seem to surrender to the reality that they probably aren't going to get read.

some of the candidates for my next book include middlesex, nonviolent communication, the world is flat, the time traveler's wife, the worse thing i've done, beautiful boy, then we came to the end, the plague of doves & between, georgia. i also have several non-fiction books i'm spending time with- i usually have two-three books going at a time. i've been reading the knitter's book of yarn. this explains a great deal about yarn & the process & the qualities of various kinds of yarn. it's quite informative & i'm learning a lot. when you meet another knitter, the first question usually is "what are you knitting?" & the second is "what are you using?". (should i have put that period there? it looked lonely without it, but the question mark is referring to the quotes & not the whole sentence. i'll have to ponder this.)

i'm leaning toward middlesex. i started it once about 1-3 years ago- not sure why i stopped. it looks to be a good read & has received good reviews. i have a couple of friends who have read it & liked it. i could also get started on the may selection for our book group, which is a free life by ha jin. i think i read that book a couple of years ago & i remember liking it. if i decide to go with the book group book, that may involve a trip to barnes & noble & then the whole book choice thing grows exponentially.

it is such a delicious state to be pondering what world to enter next. to decide what character will become my next friend & confidant. i love the choosing. it's not as much fun when i've already got a book lined up because the choosing has already been done. the two exceptions to this were harry potter & the twilight series. i loved knowing i would be spending time with them in the very near future. especially harry. it's sad for me that he's gone- i do miss his yearly visits.

so, i think i'll give myself a bit longer to live in the choosing state before making a commitment & savor the decision. i can't be in the choosing state but for so long, though- luckily, i can't stand to be without a book for too long. that was the hardest thing for me in college- finding time to read for pleasure. all through college & grad school, i always had a book going that i would visit for the 10 - 30 minutes before i fell asleep. i read the rise & fall of the third reich my freshman year- it took forever...... when you only have 15 or so minutes a day, it does go by slow.

so, perhaps another 5 - 10 minutes of searching, looking at all the possibilities & then..... the decision. & an end to one of my favorite kind of days.

how barbie changed my life & now she's 50

2009-03-14T12:56:00.031-04:00

this week marked the 50th birthday of that american icon, barbie. she was born on march 9, 1959. i won't review the details of her birth & coming into being- that story is generally known by now. the event of her 50th did not go unnoticed by me. i''ll start from the beginning. not too surprisingly, i was a "girlie girl" from the get-go. i never really was a tomboy. my mother says from a very early age (18 months or so), i would get a new dress & i would stand at the top of the stairs & wait for just the right moment to make my entrance, swishing down the stairs when i trusted all eyes were upon me (it's not easy to swish in a diaper- especially a cloth one). barbie is three years younger than i am. i don't remember the first time i saw barbie. i don't remember not knowing about barbie, in her black & white swimsuit. i coveted that doll- nothing else would do. she was beautiful & sophisticated & boy, did she have the clothes. & the car. & the house. & the boyfriend. & the best friend. she had it all. she was everything i ever wanted to be. oh, yeah- the shoes- did she have the shoes!

this is a rather longish post- i hope you'll bear with me. my mother said that when we were growing up, my brother, sister & i had the uncanny knack of making best friends with either only children or children whose parents had more money than we did. & of course, we wanted what they had. my BFF was franny. we met when i was 8 years old & we moved to our house in annandale. franny was not an only child, but her two brothers were at least 10 years older than she, so might as well have been. & franny had barbie. boy, did franny have barbie! the clothes, the car, ken, the house. by the way, franny also had white go-go boots. i wanted white go-go boots- mom said no way. in my mind, i could see myself strolling through annandale in my ever-so-chic white go-go boots, while passers-by turned their heads to take in such a fashionista. i would never trip or stumble in my white go-go boots- it was as though i was walking on air. alas, no white go-go boots ever graced my feet. such a tragic set of circumstances.

but back to barbie. we'd play barbie at franny's for hours. i've posted some photos of some of the more memorable outfits franny had.

i loved cherries jubiliee- that velvet swing coat & pillbox hat. tres chic! no wonder ken couldn't stop thinking about her. barbie was so elegant, no matter what she did. whether she was a doctor, a lawyer, taking care of skipper, doing fun things with her BFF midge, being a policewoman- barbie did it all.

my sister's BFF had barbie as well. kathy was never as girlie as i was- she could do the barbie thing some. nancy really had the set-up (she was an only). she had clothes made for her barbie- they were quite couture. nancy's mother bought her underwear at lord & taylor's- my mother thought that was the height of extravagence- underwear at lord & taylor's & they wrapped each one in tissue, to boot! anyway, we were surrounded by these incredible barbie collections. i would go down to franny's house & she would wear her go-go boots & i would just revel in her barbie items & we would play for hours.

there were a few other great things about franny's house. she had snacks- chocolate, potato chips & soft drinks! wonder bread! at our house, we did not have chocolate, we did not have potato chips, we did not have cookies & we did not have soft drinks. we had kool-aid & my mom always cut back just a bit on the sugar when she made it. if we did have cookies, they were fig newtons or those raisin bars they used to make with the zig-zag sides. fruit was available for snacks. & carrots. & jello. & we NEVER had wonder bread. "nothing but air," my mother would say, disdainfully. she was just ahead of her time, actually. we didn't fry things in my house, we ate lots of fruit & i can count on one hand the number of times we ate at mcdonald's growing up (& even then, she would bring it home & put it on plates!). but at franny's..... at franny's, i could chow down to my heart's content. we now know that mom did not have a lot of that stuff in the house because she couldn't trust herself with it. at the time, it felt like deprivation. & those items were costly, as well. & although, franny's family was catholic, they ate meat on friday. i loved eating down there on friday. this was before vatican II lifted the restriction & made it okay to eat meat on fridays. at that time, i didn't eat fish. i didn't like cooked cheese. there were very few things to eat on friday. my mother often made tuna casserole- she always made me a separate one with no cheese in it. (thanks, mom). or i could go to franny's & have spaghetti with meatballs, veal parmesan, lasagna. it was a no brainer. but back to barbie....

for christmas, when i was either 8 or 9, under our christmas tree that year was.......... tammy??????? we got tammy. do you remember tammy? here's a picture of tammy.

tammy had a number of flaws. i will list them individually.

1. she was NOT barbie.

2. she had big hips.

3. she had almost no boobs.

4. she came with a dumb little sister, pepper (who names their kid pepper?).

5. she came with a mom- who wants a mom when you're pretending to be an adult doll?

6. she came with a dad- need i say more?

7. she had no BFF.

8. she had big feet & her shoes were almost flat.

9. her clothes were ugly.

10. her endeavors & interests were pedestrian & predictable.

11. her car was lame.

12. she had no pets.

13. her house was....... non-existant.

14. she had bad hair.

15. she had bad shoes.

16. this is how she sat. (as my mother would say, the shop was open).

what lady sits with their legs open like that? tammy is the middle one in the picture above, standing up. the two below her, sitting so ladylike, are pepper & pepper's friend, dodi.

barbie of course, sat like a lady, with her legs together, saving herself for ken.

now, of course, today, i have empathy for my mom. we were doing all right & there was not a lot of money to spare. so she saved where she could. she didn't see the difference. how could you not see the difference?

tammy's a farm girl- built for having babies and milking cows. look at those hips. & the size of her face. why does she have such a big face? was that really necessary for tammy? & look at that little waist of barbie's & those perky perfect breasts. & her feet- oh her feet. now those were feet meant for a lady- feet that can handle the only true shoes.... high heels. barbie doesn't do flats.

& the shoes... tammy's shoes in the picture above are the red ones. they aren't even high! & they're wide. those aren't shoes- those are boxes!

how could you choose tammy? i don't care if barbie would forever distort & warp my view of what women should look like, cause me countless agonizing hours of feeling ugly & inadequate & working to attain goals that were impossible & unrealistic to attain. tammy struck at the very heart of my fear- that i was really a tammy & not a barbie. i wanted to be a barbie- in white go-go boots, if at all possible! & yet there sat tammy.

tammy got some attention- not much. i'm sure mom was disappointed that we were less than enthusiastic. & i'm sure we appeared ungrateful. mostly tammy just sat, with her mom & pepper & dodi, with her legs spread, oh, so wide.

so, with the barbie thirst still unquenched, life went on. the thirst didn't diminish. & thus it was that i purchased my first barbie with my own money. it was the american girl barbie from 1965- the first barbie that bent at the knee. this is what she looked like. as it turns out, she ended up being a particularly valuable barbie. they did not make many of the particular model & she is kind of rare. i purchased some clothes & accessories for my barbie. it wasn't very long; however, before i grew out of barbie & turned my sights to some other things. & barbie was mostly forgotten & went to join the others in the land of forgotten toys.....

..........until..........

....until my niece caitlin, arrived. caitlin, born in 1985, added color to my world. i was smitten with caitlin from the moment i first held her & it has continued to this day. at the time, we were trying to have a child ( we later learned we could not) & i loved that little girl like nobody's business. it was from caitlin i learned the true power of barbie & was able to witness the depth of my trauma of being denied barbie.

i forget how old caitlin was- caitlin was a girlie girl (of course, since her mother wasn't). she loved clothes & toys & girlie things & purses & makeup & shoes - i was her mentor, her spiritual guide to all things feminine. i think she was around 2 1/2 or 3 & we were at mom & dad's house & the barbie & tammy dolls came up in conversation. they were upstairs in the closet with some of our old toys & kathy & i pulled them out for caitlin. first out came tammy- caitlin delighted in tammy- taking off & on clothes. we assisted with dialogue & playing & creating stories. all was good. then i said to mom "do you have my old barbie?" she went up & got it. i took barbie out of the case & caitlin turned, mesmerized. there were stars in her eyes. she tossed the tammy in her hand to the floor, almost stepping on her as she came over to more closely examine the object her aunt mimi was holding. she never touched tammy again. the pilgrimage was over- she had made it to mecca.

now- a bit of back story. this was in the late 1980's. i was working in the drug & alcohol field at that time. the adult children of alcoholics (ACOA) movement was just gaining steam. my colleague & i routinely did presentations to the public to educate them regarding the ACOA stuff & addictions stuff. the ACOA movement gave birth to the concept of the "inner child", also all the rage at that time. we needed to get in touch with our inner child & give voice to it. so these concepts were frequently included in our presentations. one evening, shortly after the barbie resurrection, susan & i were doing a presentation to about 100 women. & i was sharing about the inner child concept & getting in touch with our spontaneity & creativity & all that other good stuff. i shared the story of barbie & tammy & how my still unsatisfied deep longing for barbie had been awakened with watching my niece. i still wanted a barbie- the child in me did. i must have been rather compelling as i related this story- for christmas that year (we did the presentation in november), susan gave me a barbie with some outfits. i almost cried!

now during all this, kathy & i relentlessly teased my mother about her choice of tammy & how she had damaged me forever. first the go-go boots & then barbie. that was the reason i had social difficulties when i was younger, that was the reason i was way overweight by the age of 16 & way underweight by the age of 18. this explained why i had such difficulties with math. that was the reason i struggled with inadequacy most of my life & felt like i was different & it was bad that i was different. if only i had had barbie- all that may have been avoided. just to save a few dollars?! what price mental health!!!!??? it was all so clear to me... how my life might have been so different. the things i could have achieved- who knows what the true potential was? (if go-go boots had been added to the mix, i easily could have been the first female president- move over, hilary!) mom had some difficulty feeling adequately guilty, but i know deep down she did- she just couldn't show it. anyway, that year for christmas, both caitlin & i got barbies from santa claus. & thus the healing began.....

caitlin & i played barbies for hours. we purchased clothes & shoes & accessories. franny gave me her old barbies- this is how i came into ownership of several vintage dolls. my friend, kate, became enamored with the new interest & began to give me expensive barbies for christmas. the bloomingdale barbie in nicole miller. barbie in calvin klein. barbie in DKNY. we had so much fun with our barbies. we got some men for our girls- ken showed up. we got a vintage ken- again from franny & a more updated ken. i think the more updated ken just looked gay- which cracked caitlin up to no end. caitlin loved it when i did different voices & we put on fashion shows for the barbies, with ken as "biff" narrating. & then...... & then....... caitlin grew up & outgrew barbie. & i was okay with it... mostly. i could let barbie go by then.

because by now i deeply understood that i would never be barbie & i didn't need to be. it sure was fun to pretend though, for the time that i did. & i could still play with my makeup & my clothes & wear high shoes & be okay with me. that is one of the lovely things about getting older. so many of the things i used to fret about take up so much less real estate in my brain. certainly i wished i weighed less than i do right now & i will get some of off- mostly for health reasons, a good portion for appearance, some for the desire to fit into some of my favorite clothes. barbie had some good lessons, too- family is important. you take care of your siblings & spend time with them. it's always good to have a BFF, or two. one who will always be true & who knows you inside & out & loves you anyway. & who wears that same size as you. & will never take your boyfriend. & it doesn't hurt to have a man (or woman)- a partner in your life. it's not necessary & it sure can add. & it's important to be yourself. barbie has never apologized for who she is. she doesn't care that she was based on a porn doll from germany. i also learned that it never hurts to have a really bitchin' ride with a convertible top! the other thing i've learned is that i have a lot of barbies. when i went to track them down to take pictures for this post, i was amazed. i have a vintage midge, the american girl barbie from 1965, the barbie with wigs (we call her chemotherapy barbie) & an older ken. i have alot of new dolls. since i got my first barbie later in life, most of stuff is in pretty good shape. i have a good number of older clothes in fairly good shape. one day, i'll sell them. i won't make a bundle- i'm sure they're worth a few hundred to someone. & it's still fun to look at them- they bring back lots of memories.

i don't want to get too corny here. i hope barbie has learned some lessons at 50. i hope she has found some of the comfort of wisdom that i have found. i hope she has experienced a change in her personal geography- i am much more clear about my own magnetic north & thus rarely get too terribly lost in the maze of choices that reflect values, beliefs, right & wrong actions, priorities. i hope she has learned to live much more congruently now, as i have- my insides & outsides match most of the time. i hope she doesn't worry so much about stating her opinion or saying when she thinks something is wrong- i know i have. i trust my own moral compass so much more now & i hope 50 year old barbie does as well. & who knows, maybe she'll even be ready to commit & make an honest man of ken. or maybe she'll just do the oprah & stedman thing.

so, happy 50th barbie- belatedly (her birthday was march 9)- but it's from me- why would it be on time?

& thank you, mom for seeing to it that i finally did get a barbie....

book group

2009-03-10T23:51:00.007-04:00

tonight was book group. we meet the 2nd tuesday of every month - well, most every month. last summer we had to cancel a couple of times due to low (read no) attendance. i love my book group. this is the 3rd book group i have belonged to- i was in my first book group for about a year. it was mostly attorneys & focused on the book very little. it kind of fell apart after a year. i cast about for a new group & my friend, susan o, invited me to join hers. i'm not sure how long i have been going to this group. i think it's at least 10 years- probably longer. the group has gone through many membership changes & numbers go up & down. there are 3-4 core people that were in the group before i was & then a core that has come along since then. tonight we had 8 attending. it's a woman only group & we have a great range of women- two MDs, one professor, a scientist (she runs a lab), four therapists (3 social workers & one psychologist), one who works at the art museum, a CPA, a full-time mom & one who just completed her 2nd masters degree & is in the non-profit sector as a developer. for a brief time last year, i joined another book group- known affectionately as the smart book group. my other book group took on the title of the "loosey-goosey book group" (& the loosey-goosey group is wildly smart). now that i think about it, it may have been appropriate to call the other group the "overachievers" group. that book group actually had a name that we came up with - SOAR- Society of Adventurous Readers. my other book group doesn't have an official name & i doubt they would feel the need for one.

the smart book group designated a person to lead the discussion. it was helpful if you had some background on the author & you were expected to have discussion questions prepared to lead the discussions. the books were decided upon a year in advance (primarily by one person, who went to great pains to make it seem as though the process was a democratic one) & you didn't get a choice as to which book discussion you would be responsible for leading. a good part of membership of the group was extroverts- be careful about creating a book group out of mostly extroverts. i struggled to stay in it & made an agreement with myself to give it at least a year - in the year i was in it, i think we only read one book i liked. finally, they chose to move the book group to a different night & they moved it to the 2nd tuesday of the month, so that made my decision for me. to give a bit of contrast to the structure of the two groups, the loosey-goosey book group comes by its name honestly- for example, we pick our books as we go along & we might make a change from one month to the next. during the summer, a member may object to a suggested book - that book is really long- too long for the summer. i want something shorter for lying on the beach. you gotta love a book group with that attitude!

we have read some great books in this group & some real dogs. there are the books that evoke lively discussion- two that come to mind are the reader & cliff walk. the tortilla curtain elicited one of the most frank & honest discussions i've been a part of regarding prejudice & racism. we read a real mixture of books. some of us have strong opinions regarding what we read & what we don't read. a couple members really like science fiction- some of us don't care for it. then there is the fiction vs. non-fiction divide. we mix it up pretty well, though. non-fiction in the past year included the glass castle & the nine: an inside look at the supreme court.

my book group is very accepting. i've behaved badly & been forgiven. it's very easy to be direct & honest in this group. i know i will always have a stimulating discussion on book group night. this month we read the elegance of the hedgehog. it was liked by most of the group. our discussion tonight ranged from the book to unions & their relevance in contemporary american society, to the bipartisanship efforts of obama & the rebuffs he received, to how scary the current economy is & how the effects of it are getting closer to home & to holding onto hope & optimism. politics almost always comes up at book group- we tend to be like-minded, so this is not a hot spot. i talked a little bit about rating mascaras... & of course, we talked about the book. one of the big discussions was whether or not we should talk about the ending of the book because there were some members who had not yet finished the book & those of us who had were reluctant to ruin an unexpected ending for them. the ending was sad & unexpected. (we decided to talk about the ending after receiving encouragement from the non-finishers).

i believe there is little need to buy self-help books if you buy good fiction. i can't imagine what it would be like to be unable to read. i love nothing better than to fall into a good book, to make new "friends" in the pages & travel to places i've not been before. i learn much from accepting the invitation to explore the internal landscapes of so many wonderful & interesting characters. my greatest fear is that i will one day lose my sight. i know i can listen to books- it is not the same. i love holding a book, reading the printed page, touching the pages, toting it around with me. i love reading & re-reading a passage several times because it is so beautiful & i need to read it several times before i can take it in.

i've loved to read since i can remember. i got in trouble in 1st grade for bringing books home from school so i could read ahead. we were in catholic school at that time & i had a nun for a teacher. i don't need to say anymore, do i? my sister & i shared a room & we each had our own side of the closet. i remember my mother coming up & looking through the closet & finding the books where i had tucked them away. growing up was not comfortable for me & i experienced a lot of difficulties socially. books were my refuge, as they were for so many others.

so i feel grateful to be in such an interesting & stimulating book group & love all the books i've read that i wouldn't have read otherwise- new authors, new types of reading. i look forward to book group most months- sometimes it's hard for me to feel justified going when i am very, very behind in work. the week of book group is always a busy one because my investment club meets on the 2nd wednesday of every month, so the two meetings are two days in a row. the investment club is much more work than book group! & not nearly as fun- especially these days. we've watched our portfolio lose at least half its value.

so to my book group- thank you one & all. i hope we meet for many years to come.

being my pet- perhaps an option for my next life?

2009-03-08T08:17:00.000-04:00

this is what sadie does when she doesn't come to work with me. on tuesday afternoons, i go over to the family counseling center to see clients & sadie can't come to the clinic. licensing regulations prohibit it. it's good that she gets a day off, anyway. and the picture below is what sadie looks like when she comes to my office with me & works.

i think it's pretty cute when sadie sleeps & her tongue sticks out (as in the picture below). not a good date look, though!

it is always very dear when i am in session with a client & we are having a poignant moment & it is quiet & reflective..... & then the a loud & lusty sadie snore resounds. or she does the quiet yipping that dogs do when they dream. . .

it actually seems to add to the session at times.

now what is an interruption is when one of my clients starts waving his or her hand, while saying " sadie- my gosh- what do you eat?" i lost my sense of smell in 1989 & haven't been able to smell anything since that time. so when sadie has a gastric indiscretion, it is only by that reaction that i know it has occurred. it doesn't seem to bother sadie, though!

now that i think about it, there is not a huge difference between sadie at work & sadie at home.

write about what you know

2009-03-06T20:01:00.029-05:00

writing about what you know is a good strategy for honing writing skills. you have confidence in your material & hopefully won't face a scarcity of content. one of the things i know is makeup. i don't know makeup from a technical perspective or a scientific one- i only know what i know from experience & having been a makeup junkie since i was at least 14 years old. & the one makeup item i REALLY know is mascara. up until about 1994-95, i never left the house without mascara- not even to go to 7-11. in 2000, when i began running & training for the marathon, i would run without mascara; however, i did come for our 5:30am saturday runs with blush applied. a girl's gotta have standards, you know? it was a big deal to me when i became willing to leave the house without mascara. i have a friend who swore for years i would get up in the middle of the night & put on my makeup so that i when i woke up in the morning, it was all there. actually, i just never took it off, i think!

so mascara. here is what a typical packing can look like. this was for a 5 day trip to my sister's. btw, she made the quilt that they are sitting on- she is very talented. this was made for my

niece to take with her when she left for college- my sister incorporated pieces of dresses that were favorites from when caitlin was a little girl. what a beautiful gift to give to her.

here is another quilt that she made. i love the colors & the design. since we're on quilts, i'll brag a bit more on the talents of my sister. below are two quilts she did. one is the quilt we gave our parents for their 50th wedding anniversary. it's called a memory quilt. photographs are worked into the quilt. you copy the photos onto muslin & then sew it on. mom & dad still had the receipt from the hotel in philadelphia where they spent their wedding night- a copy of that is on the quilt. she did a great job on it.

and this is what she presented to me for my birthday this past year. on the back of it, she put a photo of us. i was rendered speechless by this present.

okay- now back to mascara (i am easily distracted by shiny things). i usually start my packing & say i'm only going to bring 4 or 5 mascaras this time. but then i look through them & each of them does something different. i don't use them all at the same time, but i need the properties of one to take care of a problem.

so i end up with this.....

one thing i have to own up to is that i don't object to "spider" lashes. some folks don't like them; i'm okay with them. so, here are some typical problems & the mascaras that can provide potential solutions.

lack of curl- clinique lash curling mascara, dior show black out, fresh supernova, lancome virtuose

lengthening- fresh firebird, chanel inimitable, too faced lash injection thickening & lengthening

defining- givenchy phenomen'eyes, lancome definicil, fiberwig

volume- MAC plush lash, sephora lash plumper, diorshow iconic, lancome hypnose, benefit bad gal lash, YSL volume effect cils

to get at those lower lashes- keven aucoin the mascara

finishing & defining- bobbi brown lash glamour, clinique high definition lashes

best all-around- these are the ones that are staples in my mascara pantry- fresh supernova, bobbi brown lash glamour, diorshow black out, lancome lash primer

there are only two eyelash curlers worth their salt- kevin aucoin & shu umera. if you want to add length, lash primers are great. generally, if you use a primer & want curly lashes, you'll need to curl your lashes before you apply the primer. a primer i like is lancome. i also have used make up forever lash fibers primer- it's a good one, also. i just got today a chanel primer to try- we'll have to see how it does. primers help with providing length & some volume.

i was saks today to replenish some makeup- my foundation was down to seeds & stems & saks is the only store that carries it. i spent way too much money & my guess is it won't change my life. i always have the secret hope that it will. the reality is it doesn't even make me look that different. & yet i do love cosmetics- always have.

so what is really amusing to me is that i am writing this as though people will read it & as though people who care about mascara might read it... i have a rich inner life.

snow days

2009-03-04T19:13:00.000-05:00

so i really enjoyed our snow day this week. the last big snow we had in richmond was 2003. i remember this because that was the january we got sadiedog. most of the pictures the breeder took of her were outside in the snow. she cam home with us at the end of january. i was going back to australia with my friend, kate, who had arranged for us to go & do provide some training. we we were leaving around the beginning of march & i would be gone 3 weeks. the weekend before i was to leave, i came down with the flu. it was a nasty flu - i forget how many days i'd been struggling with it. by saturday, i couldn't even keep water down. i'd been feeling awful for several days- finally, i asked danny to take me to the ER. that really alarmed him- when i am not feeling well, i want to be left alone & i just tough it out. the visit to the ER that night was only the 3rd time in my life i'd gone to the ER. & it was snowing to beat the band. i forget how much snow we ended up with that saturday- between 8" - 12". if you ever need to go to the ER & don't want to wait, go during blizzard conditions. i remember putting sadie in her crate & going to the hospital. they were able to get me rehydrated & give me some morphine for the pounding headache i'd had for at least a day due to dehydration. i was able to leave the following week for australia as planned. & that was the last big snow i remember in richmond.

when i was in graduate school, we had a major snow. january of 1982- i think the schools were closed for two weeks straight. my sister worked for VCU at that time & didn't have to go to work for almost a week, nor did i have classes. it was so fun...... we got a spiderman saucer & whipped down the hills. there is nothing quite so beautiful as the hush of a new-fallen snow. i remember how much i used to love getting in the car for the first time in a snow- i would often just sit there & listen to the quiet. it does seem that we used to have more frequent major snows that we have now.

another major snow i recall is when i was living in va. beach. i know the month & year - january 1989- because my sister came down for the weekend- caitlin was almost 4 years old & daniel was soon to be one . i had quit smoking about four weeks earlier- i was a 3-4 pack/day smoker & had quit cold turkey. i was easily irritated! kathy had quit smoking as well- she smoked maybe a pack every two days back then- probably more when she was with me. virginia beach got about a foot & a half of snow that weekend. va. beach doesn't even own snow removal equipment- it was pretty wild. we lived in a townhouse then & kathy was throwing daniel's used diapers out on the patio. she would eventually take them out of our gate, around the corner & to the trash. i had a major meltdown- i was so irrational- it still embarasses me to this day. she was rather gracious about it, really. i remember walking up to zayre's (remember zayre's) & buying barbie stuff for caitlin (& i). i was so sad when she outgrew barbie- because i hadn't & then i had no one to play with!

the mcdaddy of snowstorms, though, was the blizzard of '66. we were living in annandale (northern va) by then- i was 10 years old. i remember my brother would take the sled & go to the safeway that was near our home every day & bring back groceries. we had some pretty decent hills in that neighborhood & it was such a blast to pick up speed down a really hugh hill. i think we were snowed in about two weeks or so. i forget how much snow we received that year- the blizzard only dumped about 12-13" of snow; however, it had been a very snowy january & there was already about 15" on the ground. the wind gusts associated with the storm were 50-60 mph & white out conditions prevailed. the airports were closed for 3 days. there were drifts up to ten feet high. plowing was futile & there were even some food shortages, requiring some rationing. thank goodness such a storm occurred when i was living at home- if it were to happen today, my cupboards would be so bare! whenever richmond predicts snow & there is the traditional rush to ukrop's & kroger, i often don't go because i hate to be thought of as a anxious snow girl- more than once, we have been caught with only a can of kidney beans (& diet coke, of course) in our larder. i remember one big snow- maybe 1994? we walked up to the brook run ukrops every day- it took a while getting through the drifts!

so those are my snow memories that come to mind. i doubt i shall ever outgrow a snow day! even when i'm self-employed. there have certainly been times when a storm is predicted & i check my schedule to see how many appointments will have to be cancelled... it is so wonderful to have found time- kind of like finding a $20 bill in the pocket of your winter coat the first time you wear it that season.

i hope everyone enjoyed their snow day & that it was relaxing. we certainly did- it was so nice lying in bed sunday night & watching the snow come down. & feel grateful for the presence of a home & a warm husband & a warmer (albeit snoring) dog.

dodging a dental bullet

2009-02-27T22:07:00.016-05:00

i've always hated the dentist. i can't remember a time when i felt like things would be okay if i was in the dentist's chair. last week, i broke a tooth. i was chowing down on some sweetheart conversation hearts (75% off- mind you) & my tooth broke. that tooth has a rather sizable filling in it & only the tooth was impacted- all of one side. it didn't hurt. i did behave like a responsible adult & called my dentist (it only took me 3 days) to see about setting up an appointment. i was anticipating needing a crown. lots of $$$$....

my dental experiences were somewhat intense early on for me. i was a serious & committed thumb sucker- i can't remember how old i was when i finally stopped- too old, i'm sure. the lustiness with which i sucked my thumb was not only pushing my front upper teeth forward- it was somehow re-aligning my jaw so that my upper & lower teeth weren't meeting for the bite. they thought they would have to break my jaw & reset it so it would be straight. instead, they just removed a number of teeth & i started with a retainer when i was in 2nd or 3rd grade.

our dentist was hilt romney, dds. he was a neighbor from our first house in vienna & my brother, sister & i all hated him. we were very vocal about our dislike for him- mom wasn't convinced. my sister was smart- she bit him several times & finally he told mom she needed to go to a pediatric dentist. good thinking, kathy. i wish i'd thought of that. not only did you get to see a different dentist; you also had the satisfaction of inflicting pain on hilt. mom wasn't happy; however, the pediatric dentist was quite a bit more moolah.

hilt had all the classic attributes of a geek. he wore those black horn-rimmed glasses so popular with the nerds in the 1960's. he had the whitest, palest skin i think i've ever seen. a long face with thin lips & a most unattractive nose, as i recall. & he had talk radio playing in his office- WTOP in washington. what i remember is paul harvey- "now for the rest of the story...." some may be too young to remember paul harvey (he was a commentator & news broadcaster for the ABC radio network). he has a very distinctive voice that lends a solemn & serious aura to anything he says. he always told these goofy stories that had a little twist to them at the end, when you got the rest of the story. in order to get the rest of the story, you had to listen to him for about 30 minutes before he would share "the rest of the story." paul harvey is still broadcasting to this day. i can't hear his voice without cringing. visions of hilt come alive & all that is associated with dentistry float into my consciousness- all i want to do is get far, far away. i don't want anyone near my mouth- i don't care how much it hurts.....

hilt would do things like numb the wrong side of my mouth when i was getting a filling- he seemed to slip a lot when using tools in my mouth. his attempts at talk & chatter were beyond banal. i think he may have yelled at us a lot if we cried or squirmed or resisted in any fashion. i remember his office being old & dingy & not at all inviting. i also remember sitting in the waiting room while kathy went back (this was before her victory of getting a new dentist) & hearing her scream. he had bad magazines,too- but of course there is no surprise there, by this point, is there?

by 5th grade (or maybe 6th), in addition to hilt, we made montly visits to dr. bauman, our orthodontist. i was in braces for 4 years, maybe 5? dr bauman had a much more happening office- he had a 6 chair orthodontial practice & man, did he move the people through! he could be stern- generally, though, he was kind & patient & his office staff was friendly. (hilt had no dental assistants- just a receptionist).

i can't remember when we finally convinced mom to give up on hilt- we moved to annandale in 1964, so the neighborly obligation had been fulfilled. i don't remember going to another dentist. i think we just saw dr. bauman. at any rate, i didn't go to the dentist again until 1985 or so- about 10 - 12 years later. i saw a guy in va. beach when we lived there- i remember one time he was doing a procedure & i was tearing up- he nor his staff said anything, nor acknowledged anything- game over! he was off the list. when we moved to richmond in 1990, i hunted for a new dentist. i got a recommendation from a work colleague- dr. talton- i think was his name. at the time, i was working in petersburg & near the chesterfield county courthouse- dr. talton was on the goochland/henrico county line at tuckahoe shopping center. it was a 45-minute drive (no 288 back then!). dr. talton was okay- he was a little too slick for my taste though- & he was very expensive. he got ticked off the list. & then we found dr. fred, my dental savior, my dental fabio.

we found dr. fred from our next door neighbors. he had been in dental school at one point & had met dr. fred, a dds & a phd. in order to become a patient of dr. fred's, you had to have an in- someone who referred you. that sounded exclusive.... anyway, i love dr. fred. he is the only dentist in his office- he has a hygienist & a receptionist. they've been with him forever. he can be pretty grumpy sometimes with his hygienist, debbie & it's like listening to a long-married couple banter back & forth. the first visit i had with fred, he knew immediately what i needed & got it done. he says he knows he only has about 20 minutes before i get too antsy (sometimes he subtly checks my pulse on my neck to see how i'm doing) & he does his best to stay within those parameters. he has never hurt me. he sings while he works- this is great. i don't know why dentists insist on trying to conversate when they are working on you- fred just sings. he makes me laugh. when danny was smoking cigars & trying to quit- it was fred who said- try a pipe! which danny did. & then armand, my brother-in-law. & then tommy, my brother. thanks, fred.

so, for the rest of the story..... fred said today i had three choices- a crown, something else i can't remember, or using this glass-cement compound that came with no guarantees. he had used it on one of his teeth & that was 7 years ago- it was still good. all he did was shoot some on the tooth, smooth it out & let it dry. i was out of there in 10 minutes. i don't know what i'll do when fred retires. he said he'll be 60 this year- luckily, he is paying for his daughter's medical school (can you imagine graduating from medical school with no debt?), so he'll not be retiring early. who knows, today's remedy for my tooth could last a long time, maybe? if i stay away from the conversation hearts- at least until next valentine's day? so thank you fred- what would i do without you?

an iphone is sad, an iphone is lost & i am jonesing

2009-02-15T23:02:00.007-05:00

gosh- i am bad at this blog business- aren't i? i keep meaning to be more regular & yet i fail repeatedly & i want to have some fun with it. right now i'm having to admit to myself i was really attached to my iphone- i feel like i've given up my pacifier or something- it held everything for me. luckily, it's all backed up on my computer, so i have all my appointments, contacts, referrals, food diaries, to do lists, etc. what a bummer.... i have never lost a phone & of course i would lose the most expensive phone i would own. major buzz kill!!!

remember the days before cell phones? i recall when we used to go on vacation & one of the first things i did when i got home was call my BFF franny to catch up on all the news (usually none) & tell her about the vacation we took. we usually went to the outer banks in north carolina- i used to hate it. i always thought it would be a great place to recover from a heart attack- rather boring for me, especially as i edged closer to adolescence. i have never liked going in the ocean- it bothers me to share my space with creatures i can't see & i don't ever want to have an encounter with a jellyfish- they look awful. usually, my friend paul can shame me into one foray into the ocean each year - one of my favorite inventions is the shoes you wear in the ocean- that makes it a bit easier. i don't know why i'm such a weenie. i don't like going in rivers or lakes either- mostly b/c of snakes. things like sharks don't bother me- they're too big. i worry about the jellyfish, crabs & something brushing against my leg. we still go to the beach every year for vacation- danny & i- not very original, huh? we no longer go to the outer banks during the summer- very, very crowded. my friend susan turned me onto topsail island in north carolina about 15 years ago - it's a great place to recover from a heart attack! that is now a desirable quality of a vacation destination.

well, this started b/c i was talking about cell phones. one of the things about cell phones is that they have redefined the concept of being late for many people. as one who is chronically tardy, no matter what efforts i seem to make, it's an interesting thing. many people these days don't consider themselves late if they call to let the person they are meeting know. by the way, i don't ascribe to that philosophy- if you're late, you're late! many people think if we are to meet at 2pm & i call you at 1:50pm & tell you i can't get there until 2:30pm, then i'm not late b/c i let you know. who cares that you left in time to be there at 2pm? i want to again be on time, like i used to. mornings are hard & i get so easily distracted by shiny things- LOOK- A SHINY THING!!! IT SPARKLES!! i can't refuse it- a significant character defect. one of the ways i avoid being late is not giving an ETA when i can get away with it- equally as annoying to others as being late.

well, i've rambled & done a recent post. i'll go tomorrow & give at&t more of my money so i can stop jonesing for my iphone- i do miss the little bugger. i couldn't do my crossword puzzles today- i'll have a lot of catch up to do when i get my new phone tomorrow. at least i won't be fiending for the phone!

i'm running low on outrage

2009-02-05T00:28:00.000-05:00

i am running low on outrage. i thought perhaps my supply was unlimited- i did after all make it through the bush years with my hope intact & i didn't fall into apathy as a result of feeling impotent. the whole bailout thing is pretty disgusting- rewarding some people for their greed (which was unlimited). then we hear the stories- AIG treating their folks to the $45k spa experience. citibank getting a talking to because they wanted to buy a corporate jet with their federal bailout money. & then today we hear about wells-fargo wanting to use the money to continue the tradition of taking their top 1000 employees on an annual excursion. this one was in las vegas for 11 days to the tune of 25 million. how out of touch are these people? it's bad enough if they are spending their profit, but to think nothing of taking tax money/federal money which our future generations will be wrestling with for years & years & take a first class trip to las vegas for 1000 people & their guests!!!! one of their past annual events was a private concert by jimmy buffett when they were visiting some warm caribbean island between helicopter rides.

& today they were talking on NPR about executive & CEO pay. they say if we don't pay it, we won't get the top people- these top people have failed in so many ways. i'd hate to see what the lower kind of people might produce- could they do worse? some of the compensation experts (now there's a career) said that if they don't pay these guys top dollar, they'll go somewhere else. that may have been true at some point in the past- where would they go today?

anyway, enough of that. it's not original & it's boring. & i am tired of the greed & lack of empathy by so many these days.

on another note- what is up with facebook? over the past two weeks, i think almost over a dozen of my friends have recently joined. what started this phenomenon? the kids are losing some interest in it because of all the old people who are on it now. i am wondering if there was recently some sort of big story or event regarding facebook that so many people signed up in such a short time frame? it's fine with me- i just wonder what's going on.

i think i'll devote one day a week of the blog to gift ideas & cool shopping places & unusual objects that i run across. with my travel having ground to a halt, i'll have to let me fingers do the walking- the cyber stuff gives a whole different meaning to that old ad tagline from at&t- how many years ago was that?

for right now, my waning outrage & i are going to go to sleep now- perhaps i'll refuel in my sleep!

baraculous & barailliant

2009-01-26T23:15:00.000-05:00

so here it is almost a week later & i'm still digging on the inauguration. at least, i've learned to spell it! wasn't it something? it will be one of those questions so many of us will always remember, up there with "where were you when you heard JFK had been shot? when diana died? when barack was sworn in?". i know some folks who went up to DC. i've not talked to anyone - i have heard that it was really great. very little to no complaining about the long lines & waits that were encountered & about the cold. i heard also that the energy that day was phenomenal. sad i couldn't be there.

dad had a dr. appointment at MCV on tuesday afternoon & wednesday morning, so they spent the night in richmond. i went down & got mom & dad tuesday morning. i was so afraid we would miss it. when we got to MCV to give the valet the car, joe biden was being sworn in & i knew for sure we couldn't get up to the 4th floor in time to obama get sworn in & i was uber-bummed. as it turned out, though, the music (wasn't it beautiful?) & yo-yo ma were still playing when i arrived on the 4th floor. the waiting room was crowded with drs. nurses, staff & patients are gathered around the tv. i teared up as he took the oath & at the end, an involuntary & unplanned homer-like "woo-hoo" escaped from my mouth- this was followed by much clapping in the waiting area. i loved his speech. my mom says she thinks obama was sent as a gift from god- that he was truly called to this. perhaps...

i had the best visit with my mom & dad. on the way back to williamsburg wednesday, we chatted away. we talked about spirituality, how my parents' beliefs have changed in terms of god & religion, what it is like to be in your later 80's & toward the end of your life. dad & i talked alot about his work & economic theory- the keynesians vs the friedmans. i learned a lot- both about my dad & economic theory. i love that i enjoy my parents & that they continue to be interesting to me.

we were quite a group going out for dinner on tuesday night. i felt like i was driving the short yellow bus. we had danny with his cast & crutches, dad with his cane & his careful, slow steps & gigi (mom) who moves a bit more slowly these days & has difficulty seeing at night. gigi & i got the giggles as we were leaving thinking about what we must have looked like.

it's been quite a process doing more & more to help my parents over this past year and a half. they were always very independent & enjoyed life. they traveled a fair amount & had plenty of friends with whom they did things. following dad's surgery & stroke in sept 2007, a lot more was required from us kids. i have gotten closer to my parents as a result. my brother is in oregon & my sister in illinois, so i do a lot of the ordinary or day-to-day stuff that might need getting done. sometimes i have gotten impatient & then i try to remember- they did this with me. they walked slowly so that i could keep up, they repeated themselves multiple times so that i could understand, they patiently explained things over again when i wasn't clear. there is definitely a bit of grace being directed toward me as i learn to lead those whom i used to follow. i hope there is grace on the other end, too.

and so begins the dawn, as some go into the twilight...

2009-01-19T22:27:00.019-05:00

it is very exciting to be so close to washington & soak up some of the pre-inaugural buzz. i got a haircut on saturday & the stylist, who is from springfield, was planning to head up to washington on sunday to hear the music & soak up the ambiance. from there it was onto my favorite (& only) yarn hang-out at the yarn lounge, where one of the regulars was talking about going. she scored a ticket & was regaling us with the details of her clothing & her plan to stay warm. it will be chilly after a few hours standing outside, although the sheer mass of humanity might provide some warmth. i would absolutely love to be there & cannot imagine maintaining any sort of civil demeanor with the crowds. it would be uber cool to soak up the energy & the hope as our long dark night draws to a close and a new era begins.

this week saw the passing of two dear doggie friends. both were in somewhat advanced doggie years & had provided the companionship & love that only dogs can provide. i have yet to lose a dog of my own as an adult- sadie is our first dog other than the dog i had growing up & he really belonged to mom. i was told of the death of our family dog, buck, when i came home from va tech in my freshman year after a friend was murdered under some pretty horrible circumstances. his passing took a back seat to the other events of that weekend.

this is a picture of sadie in her first year when she experienced the river for the first time. i call it "unbridled joy."

i remember my brother's dog, leo. leo was a huge, hulking specimen of a dog. he had some german shepherd in him & was kind of the size of a small pony. leo had a wonderful disposition, but was not especially blessed in the brains department. he was loyal as they come & a wonderful dog for my niece grace as she grew up. he allowed her to ride him, climb on him- very patient with her. i knew that any being that could get my brother to say the word "walkie" with a straight face was a very powerful creature. i would go to oregon at least every other year, sometimes yearly, to see my brother, tommy, out on the west coast. he lived on the northwest coast of oregon, just across the highway from the pacific ocean. i remember my last visit with leo. he was having hip problems, as so many large dogs do, & on our walkie, he was dragging his back legs. after that first arrival beach walk, i couldn't bear to walk him again for one of our long beach walks & witness the undeniable evidence of his aging years. i cried the whole way back to tommy's house as i thought about leo not being there my next trip out. & this year, as we left my brother's in portland, where he now lives, i bade a silent goodbye to louis (who is responsible for warming danny up to the idea that he could manage a dog). just in case... so he would know what he meant to me on my annual treks out west- the ever faithful companion. i found a wonderful quote about dogs today- " Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really." so i'll take just a moment to be thankful for the being that is dependent on us & asks nothing in return & also to honor homer russell brown & hannibal kubalak- they will be missed. the pictures of these dogs are all dogs who have touched my life & taught me grace, as well as teaching me to ask for what you want (beg if you need to) loudly & without shame- you just might get it!!

you think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.

- robert louis stevenson

so much for new year's resolutions ....

2009-01-15T00:24:00.000-05:00

oh well, i missed a few days, huh? i've been busy trying to take care of danny as he recovers from his surgery. he's been on the camped on the couch downstairs since he came home the day after surgery. he tried the stairs for the first time the other day- going up on his butt. sadiedog, always deeply & directly honest, has been sleeping downstairs with him - i am definitely not feeling the love. as of today, he is getting restless. he's tired of tv & cannot concentrate long enough to really do some reading. he returns to work tuesday. he's been patient & relatively cheerful & generally it's been a pleasure to take care of him. of course, there have been moments... & we still have a ways to go...

now onto the next topic with no transition whatsoever....

look at these - aren't they fantastic? they are 3-dimensional chalk drawings on the sidewalk of various places. i first became aware of these when my friend cathy wilson sent them to me in an email. a little bit of detective work on the web- never too hard to find things, eh- & i turned up the artist's name- julian beever, an british lad they are pretty amazing, are they not? these are just a sampling of what i found. if you google julian beever, you can find many other examples of this very unique drawing style & venue.

this year i resolve...

2009-01-05T23:06:00.005-05:00

not a very original title for my first post of the new year- i am guilty as charged. this year i resolve to ... be a more regular blogger. i can benefit from the discipline of committing to post 3 times each week (4 times if something really cool or exciting happens). of course, i have many other resolutions & self-challenges for myself this year, which i won't bore others or myself with right now. two girlfriends & i used to have a yearly ritual- we met on january 1st or 2nd & reviewed with each other our goals for the year. we also identified how we could help each other get there. we kept one list & packed the other with our christmas decorations & when we unpacked the christmas decorations later that year, it would be a reminder to see how we did in meeting our goals. we stopped doing this 2 or 3 years ago- i miss our annual gathering. we would meet at barnes & noble & sip our coffee.

i'm finding myself missing a lot of things these days. i'm feeling rather melancholy. having spent a lot of time with my niece recently, i have found myself missing/mourning my lost youth. in so many ways, i am appreciative of the acquired wisdom & confidence the years have provided me & .... i do miss being younger & having all the possibilities ahead of me- of course, i was not the lovely young woman my niece is (or my nephew, for that matter). this is true also of my other niece, grace. sadly, i do not see grace as often as i do my sister's kids (grace belongs to my brother). grace, caitlin & daniel all enjoy a great relationship with their parents, are respectful to them & have lots of fun with them. they have many common interests & share many details of their lives with their parents. none of the above describes me at their ages. i didn't really "get it" until my later 20's- i was not always such a pleasant young adult when it came to my parents. they definitely suffered some.

i spent today at the hospital while my husband had surgery to fuse his right ankle.

both his ankles & his right leg were broken & shattered in an accident in 1986. they were put back together with screws & pins. it is amazing to all that he was able to walk reasonably, let alone run the 10 marathons he ran. in recent years, he has turned to cycling due to the wear & tear on his feet. he has been in chronic pain for roughly the last 20 years & is hopeful that the fusion will eliminate the pain. i have attached some x-rays the dr gave me following the surgery- it looks barbaric, doesn't it? danny will lose up & down range of motion in his ankle- he should still be able to cycle, though. he will not be able to place any weight at all on his right leg for 5-6 weeks- we will have the opportunity over the next few weeks to spend a lot of time together! he won't be able to drive for about 8 weeks- that will be torture for him. while i'm not the best driver, i'm certainly way above adequate. he has a hard time being a passenger- he'll get lots of opportunities for practice this year! i'll be bringing him to work, but i told him he might need to adjust his hours- i know i can't get him there by 7:30-8a on a regular basis. i am so trifling when it comes to mornings- well- that will be good practice for me too- won't it?!

BTW, the object from the last post was a victorian flower frog. i love the way i answer that question as though someone is reading!! & the recipient loved it. she did not know what it was, either. it looked very much like a compote to me.

so ends my 1st post of 2009. & i'll end with a quote i found that seems appropriate.....

happy 2009-

may your troubles last as long as your new year's resolutions!

christmas decorating & some gift thoughts

2008-12-18T11:54:00.002-05:00

this is rudolph. he has been with our family for a very long time. my father worked for us news & world report for his entire career. he was head of the economics department & was considered one of people in washington who really understood the federal budget. back in the old days, you went to work for a company & worked there for most of your working life & they took care of you. every year at christmas, in addition to a bonus, no doubt, the magazine gave each employee a little christmas trinket. rudolph came to us in that manner. when mom & dad moved to williamsburg & mom started to prune her christmas decorations, i took the rudolph. he holds many memories for me. after we took possession of rudolph, our cat at the time, squiggy, enjoyed chewing on rudolph & took out an eye & his nose. i forget when the mouth went. sadiedog, as a puppy, pretty much finished the job so rudolph has no eyes, no nose & the barest hint of a mouth. & i love him- he brings back memories of christmas from a younger time & reminds me of the house in which i spent most of my childhood. if i had a sense of smell, i'm sure he smells a little bit. as i look at the picture, i see his ears have been damaged a bit as well. we had a whole collection of little christmas trinkets, such as these, courtesy of us news. it must have been kind of nice to feel so taken care of - corporations were quite paternalistic then. i can feel for the UAW- not that i agree with the bailout- but the auto workers have been involved in a paternalistic system for years while the rest of us have been adapting t0 the changing corporate & work environment over the past 20-25 years. it must be quite a jolt for the auto workers to enter the current environment & the way things are done.

this is my tree i did for the office. i like the juxtaposition of the old & new. the ornaments are vintage ornaments i have been collecting- it's my new thing to collect. & they are a good thing to collect because they break so easily. i lose at least 5 every year. luckily, the ones i lose are the plain round ones.

now for my first quiz. does anyone know what this is? i found it on ebay for the woman i see for clinical supervision. a brief sidenote here- if you are not a therapist, clinical supervision may not make sense for someone like myself who has been in the field for 25 years. when we work with clients, it is very easy for our personal histories & opinions &issues to get involved in the process & working with a clinical supervisor helps to keep it clean. the field of therapy places a premium on ensuring that the values, beliefs, etc of the therapist do not unduly enter the therapeutic process. it can be a rather tricky thing at times. so back to the item. can anyone identify it's purpose? i'll answer in a couple of days.

here's a nice christmas idea- this is felted soap. in the shower, the wool creates a nice lather- the soap is homemade. i wish i could remember where i found it. i'll have to do some research.

i found this a couple years ago. i can't show the detail. these are custom-made bangles & the artist will put anything you like on it. it is two sided. i had her put some stanzas from one of my all-time favorite poems on it-

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as long I could.

and on the other side

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

And I- I took the one less travelled by

And that has made all the difference.

that gives you an idea of how much she can fit on the bracelet. that holds so many possibilities. i can think of lots of things to have engraved on bracelets for different people. the seller is delias thompson & she can be found on etsy. engraving words on jewelry is quite common & quite a business these days. one of the originals to do it was jeanine payer & her work remains some of the most exquisite. she uses a lot of rumi quotes- another favorite poet of mine. her work is quite delicate & sadly, for me, expensive. i do think she was the pioneer in the use of words & phrases on jewelry.

well that's it for today. not a very exciting post. maybe i'll be more exciting tomorrow (or next week) depending on when i post.

the lameness continues

2008-12-14T00:14:00.015-05:00

so here i am once again, several weeks out from having posted. blogs are kind of like work at times. it can be challenging to think about what might engage one- including myself- what is worthy of taking the time to place it in black & white?

we visited my mom & dad on the way back from the outer banks after thanksgiving & i was telling her i was doing a blog. she wondered what a blog was. my mom has nothing to do with the computer- she does not even do email. my favorite technology story about mom is when we were riding back from washington, d.c. i have often given my parents "experience" gifts- they certainly don't need any more things. we had gone to washington to see an exhibit at the phillips, i think. anyway, it was raining quite hard & i pulled off at a rest area to call danny & my dad (back when cell phones were the size of a brick!). he didn't answer & i left a message. he called me back about 10 minutes later (we were still sitting at the rest area waiting out the worst of the downpour) & i answered & we talked. gigi (my mom's nickname) was quiet for a few minutes & then she said "how did he know where we were? how did he know where to call?"

anyway, i was having a hard time trying to explain it, so i decided to look it up. many sites described it as a personal journal. there are, of course, different kinds of blogs. corporate or company blogs are getting very popular. they estimate there are about 112 million blogs published now- some of these are very dormant. that's alot of personal journals, doncha think? (my sarah palin imitation) one site said many people find the doing of one therapeutic, even if no one reads it. i would agree with that. i would like people to read my blog, though (people i know- i can't imagine why anyone else would be interested), so then comes the challenge of making it interesting & engaging. also of finding a topic. & then writing about it. on a daily or so basis. it seems so simple.... when i told a friend about the blog, she made a comment about needing a venue for self-absorption, or something like that. i suppose that's true, though i don't like to think about myself like that.

anyway, we're getting ready for christmas here. & i mean christmas at my house- not the holidays... here is a shot of one of my favorite ornaments- i just love homer!!!!

& i've been really getting into vintage ornaments lately. here is one of my favorite vintage ornaments that i have. i have a lot of the plain ones, but this one is really cool & in fairly good shape as well.

i was inspired to get the trees up because i hosted the holiday dinner for my investment club, HERS. HERS stands for Her Early Retirement System & i've been a member about 10 years now. we are losing right now, just like everyone, but we have also made some wise buys & i have learned a great deal about the stock market. plus, i've met some great women. my neighbor, michele, is a personal chef & caters the meal for us. we never know what we are having until that night. it is an i

ncredible meal. here is the entree- you are looking at shrimp with black mission figs in a rosemary shallot cider sauce,

parmesan polenta & sweet & sour red cabbage. this was followed a dessert to die for- dark chocolate cherry torte with ganache glaze & eggnog mousse.those are just two of the courses. that's the chef in my kitchen there- behind her stands our server for the evening- what a nice guy, huh? i confess i find myself feeling a bit like oprah these days- i had lost about 12 pounds & was feeling okay- it's all come back on since thanksgiving. not good.... & christmas to come yet...

more shopping ideas & mike deserves our empathy

2008-12-08T12:34:00.003-05:00

these frames are availaible from mary-kelley decoupage. you can have them personalized in any way you like & they have some very pretty frames & backgrounds. i put a rumi quote on one for wedding gift- it seemed well received. they made an error with the personalization that was not entirely their fault. they offered to replace the frame & redo it if i would pay shipping. very nice customer service- something in short supply these days.

here we have a calendar- each page is one month. aren't they beautiful? it is a pricey calendar- but, we do look at it every day, don't we? this is available from www.paper-source.com.

these are knives- i think they look fabulous. it appears that they can stand on the counter like that- quite the display. they come in orange as well.

look what else i found - this is a useful & great little tool to have around. works for trying

to manipulate small objects such as jewelry repairs. this is from www.vinçon.com which is based in spain, but is accustomed to mailing to the US. once again, we lose on the exchange rate. but, boy, do they have some cool stuff! the bathtub drain plug from yesterday is also from vinçon. it's a great website.

now, most anyone who knows me knows i love to shop & i love to look. i love getting catalogs & scouring the globe for that unique & perfect gift. catalogs help me to travel inexpensively & see what is out there. and the deluge of catalogs starts in mid- october & goes through to the new year. every evening when i arrive home from work, there is a new stack of brightly colored catalogs awaiting my perusal. of course, some don't even make the cut- they go straight to recycling without being opened at all. & for all this,

i have lots of empathy for mike the mailman, the bearer of these missives from hopeful entrepreneurs & corporations. this is the take for about a week and a half- i worry for mike's back....

i started this post a while back & just changed the date. is that cheating? & then i publish with a back-dated date- helps me look less lame. please forgive me my deceitfulness..

no leftover turkey here

2008-11-28T23:05:00.012-05:00

hope all enjoyed a good thanksgiving. chuck & betsy arrived at the beach yesterday afternoon, along with their trusty companions, maggie & callie (the brown girls). they came bearing gifts- to wit- a venison tenderloin from one of chuck's successful hunting trips. betsy can cook like no one's business & the tenderloin was so yummy- she roasted garlic & crushed it for spreading & added bacon bits, as well grilling it with a black pepper rub- it just melted in your mouth. i had made mashed sweet potatoes yesterday-they were even better today. donna said they were like dessert (lots of cinnamon) & casually asked how much butter i used- the answer was three sticks. we decided to rename the dish butter with sweet potatoes. at any rate, it was an incredible meal & so nice to continue our tradition of enjoying the weekend after thanksgiving with the six of us.

it's been a very relaxing week. here is a picture of the boys on their macs (well, chuck borrowed mine) doing various tasks- chuck is researching what size sailboat we should rent for our planned sailing trip next november.

here is donna working on making christmas cards- samples follow. some of them are three dimensional- very cool.

and here is the sadiedog & callie making nice.

& i finished my green sweater- here is donna modeling it. i'm pretty happy with it. it came out well & i like the cabling.

if i can be permitted one last photo, here is an item from the pages of glamour magazine. do you remember the last page of the magazine? they showed photos of women on the street earning either fashion citations or fashion commendations. here is somewhere we saw walking around the beach- definitely a fashion don't!! where do we start- don't leave the house without tending to your hair. & some clothes are not meant for outside the house- this is beyond casual. there may be some stains on her shirt.

hopefully, she will soon get a clue & clean up her act.

well, that's it from the outer banks of north carolina for friday. hope everyone enjoyed their leftovers. tomorrow's post may be a shopping one- some unusual ideas & objects i've found.

thanksgiving day thoughts

2008-11-27T14:08:00.022-05:00

i don't know if it will ever feel right to be responsible for producing the thanksgiving day meal. it seems like a very adult & maternal thing to be doing. while i can have maternal leanings from time to time, i've not been a mother & lord knows, i doubt my adult-ness frequently. it may be that others do, also. but here i am, at the beach in the outer banks preparing a thanksgiving meal.

for the past 6 years, danny & i have come to the outer banks for thanksgiving week. many years ago, my friend, jane, owed the sweetest little cottage in kitty hawk. we'd come every friday after thanksgiving & stay for the weekend, starting in 1986 or so. then my family began to rent a place for the week & we did that until 1992. after we got sadie, danny & i decided to start renting our own place & hosting my parents. we've done it ever since. the first couple years, mom & dad came down, as did our friends chuck & betsy. a couple years later, donna & george became part of the tradition. the first part of the week is for danny & i alone & then on tuesday, everyone else comes- usually that is how it works.

last year, mom & dad could not come- dad was in the rehab facility & mom stayed with him. we had plans for them to join us this year- we would pick them up on the way down & take them back. dad had some problems earlier this fall, which set him back some & it wasn't prudent for them to come, which makes us sad. even though we didn't have them last year, somehow it feels emptier this year. i think i've only had maybe five thanksgivings without my parents. when my sister moved to illinois, that was a big adjustment- we'd always had thanksgiving together- that was strange, too. i guess it's all part of growing up.

when i was first out of college, i put together a couple of thanksgivings- but that didn't feel adult. probably because it took a couple of attempts to finally get the giblets, etc out of the bird & bake it proper. one year we had to use danny's drill with a beater attached to mash the potatoes (that was the year before we got married- we had friends over that year & got LOTS of mixers as wedding gifts!). although we had thanksgiving without my parents, my sister was always with us.

this adult thing eludes me often. when i was with my niece in chicago the other weekend, it would crop up. she is living in wrigleyville, about two blocks from wrigley field, with two of her friends from college. many of her UI friends have moved to chicago. she lives in a great area in a rehabbed brownstone on the third floor (that hurt, even with my lighter packing). we'd be walking along & i'd catch my reflection, peripherally, in a store window & wonder for a moment who that was. i'm 60 lbs heavier (& have been for about 6 years now- still not used to it- at least 30 lbs before that from my pre quit smoking weight) & older & have short hair & the hugest butt OMG!!! how did i get here? & where did all those years go? admittedly i have some wisdom & some stuff (i can't move in a u-haul anymore) & a mortgage- but still... even more important, i hope i'm using these years now wisely, because one day i'll see my reflection & the same thought will occur- except i'll be looking back on my 50's .... what do i want to be looking back on & was i happy with how i was living?

& the reality is i am in my 50's & i try to live in a mode of awareness - here is the view from this morning- i woke at 5am unable to sleep & came out the living room so as not to wake danny- i sat on the deck with sadie & appreciated the incredible colors that came with it.

& here is the pre-dinner photo- our small gathering for our thanksgiving day meal- danny & i with our good friends, george & donna (donna has the distinction of being the friend that danny brought home- )

& i'll round out this post with the end of the day- sunset over the sound & plenty of thoughts of gratitude as i prepare to call family & connect over the miles...... & miss being with them & also having a deep appreciation for the friends that have become family.....

happy thanksgiving to all...

thinking about christmas & the holidays & the shopping.... oh, the shopping....

2008-11-22T21:13:00.004-05:00

in the interest of christmas, i thought i'd do some posts on some cool unusual things i've come across in my wanderings, whether on terra firma or cyberspace. i do think i have an ability to find some unique & unusual ideas & gifts- obviously a talent many others share. but right now it's what i'm focusing on for this post. which by the way, is being written as i listen to the sound of the waves outside our rental in rodanthe, north carolina- we've got the sliders open on the ocean-facing decks & it sounds heavenly. so here's a couple of kind of cool things i've come across that i've not yet seen elsewhere- though they are probably elsewhere, also!

first up is the coffee mug- now this is the part of the coffee mug that needs to be decorated, i think....

i came across this coffee mug at www.thorstenvanelton.com- there was lots of relatively cool stuff on the site- unfortunately, this is a british enterprise, so not so cost effective for the good ol' US of A. but i think the mug would be a hit for lots of people.

how about this for a very cool bathtub drain stopper-

gives one the sense of being somewhere tropical....

traveling

2008-11-13T06:45:00.017-05:00

so i'm going to get back on track. i'll start doing more regular entries (maybe even daily?) & make every effort to be stimulating & interesting & amusing. i have been up most of the night packing for chicago. i am visiting my niece for several days & then i'll go a couple of hours south to champaign, il to visit my sister for the weeknd & then back up to caitlin's in chicago until tuesday. my niece caitlin is dear & sweet & lives in the city. she works as an RN at children's hospital in pediatric oncology. i have not seen her work & yet feel certain that those who are her patients can consider themselves lucky.

here are some pix of caitlin & i from days gone by. both are from our annual family vacations to the outer banks in north carolina. she is about a year old in the younger shot & about 4 in the older shot. i knew i really loved her when i was willing to pick up that sand-covered child while i was slathered in baby oil to increase the tan potential.

i haven't flown much at all this year. several years ago, my good friend & colleague, kate, started getting lost of overseas work as a trainer of psychodrama, experiential therapy & its application to trauma. i often co-trained with her & thus fulfilled a lifelong dream to travel. i flew between 50k & 80k miles a year (kate flies 100k+ yearly), thus enabling me to become that creature known as an elite flyer- a passenger who gets privileges. i will not even have 10k this year & thus next year, must fly as a persona non grata. since this is my last flight as an elite, i chose to upgrade to first class (i never do that for just a chicago trip - it's a waste of miles) & treat myself well, for next year, i will be waiting in long lines, paying to check my bags, paying for overweight bags, never getting close enough to the top of the list for an upgrade... it is so sad. especially since next year there is a good chance i'll again be flying between 50k and 70k! i don't actually mind flying. especially if i am in business class- no one can reach me, i have my knitting & a choice of movies. my main decisions include what to eat, drink & watch & when to sleep. no one expects anything out of me- except perhaps to mind my own business. i enjoy it.

of course, there is the sheep & cattle feel of it. & yet, it still feels like an adventure to me. it wasn't all that long ago that flying was a very special event reserved only for businessmen & unusual events. people used to dress up for flights- not any longer. i swear i have seen people travel in what looks like pajamas. we get off & on planes like it is nothing these days. when i think of how much the youngsters fly these days- they have grown up flying to europe, all over. the world is so much smaller, isn't it?

i do miss the specialness of it that i remember from my childhood. it still feels special to me. i miss the dressing up & the solicitous care with which one was attended to by the flight attendants. gosh, we used to smoke on planes- do you remember? just flying along & smoking away... i am so glad i quit because it seems to me it is just about impossible to smoke anymore- where do people smoke?

& i had a minor victory with packing. even with my recent traveling, the art of packing light eludes me. for this trip, though, i have one bag- 22". although i did have to expand it the 2" it offers to 24"- never good when you have to expand on the way TO somewhere- what do you do on the way back? the expandable luggage is designed to be a RETURN feature- doncha think? (that's my sarah palin imitation). i did pack an extra bag- i always do & it rarely goes unused. & my luggage matched this time- my suitcase matched my carry-on. my luggage usually never matches. i think i like being coordinated. they are calling for snow in chicago- i have my hopes up & once again, my trusty uggs are called into service.

ah- time for me to cross the goofy red carpet that is reserved for 1st class & elite flyers- it is pretty goofy. on my way to chicago......

how lame am i

2008-11-11T18:26:00.002-05:00

how lame am i? i can't even complete one week of blogs. & i have two readers who have written they have missed my posts. how about that????!! one of the things i have struggled to do is embrace the ordinary & blogging can be good for doing that. what i know about me is that i'm great- even spectacular- at starting & i'm abysmally challenged when it comes to finishing. always been that way, it seems.

knitting has proved an exception. about four years ago, i was traveling a bit & taking long airplane flights (9+hours/leg). i decided knitting would be a good way to pass the time on the plane while i watched movies. i figured it would probably go the way of most of my attempts at taking up a new hobby. i would buy all the accessories (of course) & then i would do a little knitting. i would end up with tons of unused yarn & a plethora of half-completed projects. i also held out the smallest bit of hope that this time it would be different. so i enrolled in a beginning class at the closest local yarn shop (i think it was january 2005). i didn't find my classmates overly friendly & i was a bit put off by the instructor, but i stuck with it. my originial goal was to make a square- after two lessons, i decided i would be happy with a shape! i was making mostly scarves. i learned to knit & purl- not much beyond that. one day i was in carytown & i was stuck with my knitting. i stopped in at the new yarn shop in carytown called the yarn lounge to see if i could get some assistance. stewart, the shop owner, was there & showed me how to undo stitches- something my current instructor did not do (she just took your knitting, corrected it & gave it back to you). stewart was obviously a better teacher. stewart was so helpful & fun to talk with - i switched my classes to the yarn lounge. i might have been the only student for one class. i always took the class on sunday mornings (latter dubbed "yarn church"). it was so clear how much stewart enjoyed imparting her passion for knitting & her love of it. she is a very patient teacher & convinces you that it is okay to set your sights higher. in no time at all, she had me making a baby sweater. i recall the year that lance armstrong was going for his sixth win in the tour de france (as some of you may know, every july in my home, life stops- there are no vacations, no commitments that might interfere with the viewing of the tour- danny is passionate about his love of cycling). i was late to class one sunday morning (imagine- me late!!??). it was the morning of a most exciting tour & i had stayed to watch. on my in to the store for class, i realized that the next sunday was the tour conclusion & i really wanted to watch him ride triumphantly into paris. i came in telling my explanation of lateness & stewart smiled & turned her computer to me- she was watching the tour on streaming video & we both smiled! the following week, she brought a television in & had her dad hook it up & we watched lance roll into paris for number six, while the other class members were wondering how this could capture any one's attention...

what i have found since at the yarn lounge (tyl) is wonderful. stewart & her #1 employee & partner in crime, melanie, have created a wonderful atmosphere. it is warm & cozy & patient- they are always willing to help when you are stuck, when you need stitches taken out, when you need mistakes corrected. i have met the most marvelous & interesting women at the shop. we span the decades in terms of ages. cate, who was my teacher for yarn church is past the fifth decade of living & there are a lot of 20 somethings & thirtyish types. i went to a bruce springsteen concert with some of my yarn buds & made a 50-year old spectacle of myself. i realized, though, that the first time i saw bruce live (1974), melanie had not yet been born! the women at the lounge are wildly creative types- both in talent & spirit. it reminds me of when i was running- runners were always encouraging. someone who ran an 8-minute mile was excited for me when i broke a 13-minute mile. all they cared about was that you were out there & working at it. knitters are the same way (FYI- bicyclists are not- at least according to my husband). these women are incredible knitters- they make beautiful creations. robin is amazing at knitting & usually creates her own patterns. & yet she is encouraging of my little one color only projects. teri-kay is so prolific - she has a new sweater or some other knitted creation every week. courtney makes beautiful objects & they look gorgeous on her. melanie & stewart are amazing of course at their knitting- so many wonderful knitters who are not being mentioned. cate caught the sock bug a couple of years ago & has created the most incredible socks (& i was the lucky recipient of a pair). there are of course many who aren't being named- suffice it to say they are amazing women & some men. they just love knitting & love that we are all sharing a passion. we sit around the lovely old farm table that stewart has in the shop & talk politics, men, history, bruce springsteen, stories on NPR & this american life, books & literature, films, & what we're working on at the moment. one of the regulars has a beach cottage & hosts a beach knit a couple of times a year. we go for the weekend & knit. we went to stewart's wedding a couple of weeks back & the knitters all had their knitting at the reception (not for long though- we were soon dancing & imbibing & knitting got left behind- it's not a good idea to drink too much & knit). i feel so luck to have happened upon this little pocket of the world where these women gather & knit & talk & eat & laugh- truly a special place. nothing like sisterhood. my hope would be that everyone who reads this (both of you) have a place like that.

& last weekend i made it in to the shop after a long break. stewart was back from her honeymoon in ireland & looked absolutely radiant. since i stopped taking classes, my attendance has gotten erratic. i love it when i get in & always promise myself to get in more regularly. i was glad to make it last weekend. it was a nice relaxing weekend with very few actual accomplishments. danny, of course, accomplished a great deal- painting the trim on the house, painting on the inside, replacing windows, making a window well. & i can't even make dinner... luckily, he forgives me & loves me anyway. i did start putting the buttons on a sweater i am close to finishing. does that count? & i fed the dog. & made the bed. & went to the yarn lounge. it was an exhausting day.

one of the things i have struggled with is to embrace & honor the ordinary & blogging is kind of good for that. i find myself thinking about the minutiae of my day. since my sister moved from richmond, i don't have anyone i talk to every day like we used to- those kind of friends are few & far between. so i'll end this entry with a deep appreciation of the ordinary. an appreciation for a great weekend with nothing spectacular & gratitude for stewart & her shop & my knitting pals- it's a group i feel honored to be a part of & to have been welcomed.

and now the hangover?

2008-11-06T19:23:00.008-05:00

so after all the thrills & exuberance of tuesday & yesterday, today felt like a bit of a letdown. time to face the music- i am very glad i am not barack obama. why does he want that job anyway?

my friend cathy wilson sent me the attached picture. it seems a dad created a dress out of condoms for his daughter's prom. a good way to keep the kids safe! i thought it would be a good accessory to include- we need to start thinking about our inaugural gowns now- don't we girls?

well i did it make to my training appointment this morning. joel is my new trainer since my old trainer, adam, left the employ of gold's gym. i really loved adam- we had a great time while i worked out- we would just chatter away. he was one of the most positive & encouraging people i've met. joel & i had kind of a rough start. first of all, it took nine months for them to finally get me scheduled with someone after adam left. so i started with joel & the first time we had a session, he started me off by putting me on the two half balls & having me do squats- 45 reps. it just got worse from there. by the time i did my cool down on the ellipitical i literally fell off the machine when i tried to step down. i knew this wasn't a good start- i also wanted to make sure i wasn't being resistant- & boy did i hurt. getting up & down out of chairs & the steps were especially killer- i talked it over with danny to check it out & make sure i was on track. danny said he watches those guys sometimes with chubbettes like me & that some of those trainers can just be sadistic- like they get a pleasure out of making people that are out of shape hurt. so i went to my next appt (it had been a week & i was finally out of pain- it took almost 6 days) & i talked with joel. he was open & so we started over again. as it turns out, joel is a rabid conservative. when we were talking about the election, i asked him to tell more about his objections to obama. the response was immediate, rehearsed & clearly joel had engaged in this discussion before! it went something along the lines of "anyone who tries to take away my guns doesn't get my vote. he's trying to mess with my 2nd amendment rights." joel served in iraq/afghanistan & is presently in school to get degree in military intelligence. his ideal would be to get a job with the CIA or NSA in covert operations (or as we called it growing up the government- i work for the government is beltway speak for i work for the CIA) since i am soo not a morning girl, our lively political discussions provide welcome distractions for me so i'm not thinking i have 30 more of these #$%*&@ reps to do) & additionally, it helps to wake me up. we both stay respectful & know we are on very different sides of many issues - there are also some surprising areas of agreement. & i hope i'll learn some new information. if i only hang with my own species- i won't learn stuff. so joel & i have settled into our routine- he's no adam, but he'll do. as long as i find some level of entertainment in the working out, it won't be too bad.

so sadie dog & i are off to bed. danny is in southwest va for the night, so it's just us girls. here is what sadie looks like getting ready for bed- it's the pre-sleep sleep- i've included a close up as well. (i really do have WAY too much time on my hands, don't i?!)

the day after

2008-11-05T00:02:00.000-05:00

so here's my confession. when john mccain came on to make his concession speech, the tears started. & they just kind of trickled down all the way through obama's appearance & speech. the tagline "barack obama president-elect" looked so surreal. i still can't quite believe it. i can't pretend to know what persons of color/minorities have experienced in their lifetimes & in their collective unconscious- i know how it felt to me to see him up there with his beautiful family (looking very kennedy-esque, i thought) & thought how overwhelming it must be for so very many. never one to shy from dramatics, it feels to me as though our long dark night is finally over- i am reminded of a line from a poem that has always spoken to me

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours & mine, & still stand on the edge of the lake & shout to silver of the full moon "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief & despair, bruised & weary to the bone, & do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me & not shrink back.

-from The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

i believe that barack can & he will....

as i type this post, south park is on- they already have a president-elect obama episode- that was so quick.....

& what are the thoughts on michelle's dress tuesday night- i give it a thumbs down- it didn't work for me.

& today i included purple in my attire for this day- there was something about the whole thing that felt rather regal.

after all, as stephen colbert said- i never thought i'd live to see the day- we have elected our first president from hawaii!

well time for bed- please send me energy that i will arise early enough to keep my 7am appointment with my trainer to work out-

what do i wear to change history?

2008-11-04T11:26:00.002-05:00

so my first post- i am no longer a blogger virgin. i woke up with excitement this morning & i thought what do i wear to go cast my vote in this historic election? danny & i arose early to be at the polls by 6am as i was anticipating that there may be a bit of a wait. we were walking over & it was a gray, rainy day. i opted for my uggs- the walk over was nice- a quiet kind of misting rain. i am so very excited to participate in this process- sometimes i think about the founding fathers & take just a moment to appreciate their foresight & creativity. it is quite something to take a step back- i can't help but admire the elegance of it all- the constitution, the bill of rights, the balancing of power. & how sad it has been to watch it get eroded away over these past 8 years. there was a long line at the library (where we vote) & we had a great time. we saw many neighbors & chatted & hung out. there was some problem with the election officials getting in the library (the librarian overslept), so they weren't ready to start letting folks in to vote until about 6:30a. & i had showed up early- it just goes to show...

i also had my trusty iphone & was able to knock out the washington post crossword puzzle by the time i was able to cast my vote. & although it may be corny & sentimental, i can't help but feel proud to be an american when i push (or in this case, touch) the button that registers my vote.

oh, & i wore my black dog sweatshirt- fresh out of the mailing box from yesterday- a high quality sweatshirt from the black dog restaurant in martha's vineyard (i've not been there, but hope to go someday)- & someone did say to me "great sweatshirt."