my favorite kind of day

today was my favorite kind of day for it held an event that comes with regularity, in varying spans of frequency & must be savored.  today i finished both books i was reading & now i get to choose the next book.  i just finished outliers by malcolm gladwell ( i haven't figured out how to underline in the blog yet).  it was a wildly interesting book about the elements that contribute to success.  i confess that i have also really enjoyed his other two books- the tipping point & blink.  i recommend all three books.  the other book i finished was the thirteenth tale.  this was a book group selection some months back & i missed that group & never read the book.  everyone in the group loved it, so i decided to check it out.  it was a great book.  pretty fascinating plot & well written.  i'm still not sure i've figured out the mystery- it had me thinking for a while though.  & this month's book is the painted veil by somerset maugham.  i saw the movie pretty recently & i'm going to cheat this month & not read the book.  sometimes i just want to read something that i want to read.  

i keep a stack of books that is open-ended.  i used to literally stack them next to my side of the bed.  in the interest of marital harmony; however, i have found different ways to maintain The Stack.  now i have a shelf in the bookcase dedicated to The Stack, as well as a basket on the floor & some stacks on table next to the bed.  Often my eyes are bigger than my time.  The Stack includes professional reading, as well as pleasure reading.  some books have been in The Stack for way too long, yet i can't seem to surrender to the reality that they probably aren't going to get read.  

some of the candidates for my next book include middlesex,  nonviolent communication,  the world is flat, the time traveler's wife, the worse thing i've done, beautiful boy, then we came to the end, the plague of doves & between, georgia.  i also have several non-fiction books i'm spending time with- i usually have two-three books going at a time.  i've been reading the knitter's book of yarn.  this explains a great deal about yarn & the process & the qualities of various kinds of yarn.  it's quite informative & i'm learning a lot.  when you meet another knitter, the first question usually is "what are you knitting?" & the second is "what are you using?".  (should i have put that period there?  it looked lonely without it, but the question mark is referring to the quotes & not the whole sentence.  i'll have to ponder this.)

i'm leaning toward middlesex.  i started it once about 1-3 years ago- not sure why i stopped.  it looks to be a good read & has received good reviews.  i have a couple of friends who have read it & liked it.  i could also get started on the may selection for our book group, which is a free life by ha jin.  i think i read that book a couple of years ago & i remember liking it.  if i decide to go with the book group book, that may involve a trip to barnes & noble & then the whole book choice thing grows exponentially.  

it is such a delicious state to be pondering what world to enter next.  to decide what character will become my next friend & confidant.  i love the choosing.  it's not as much fun when i've already got a book lined up because the choosing has already been done.  the two exceptions to this were harry potter & the twilight series.  i loved knowing i would be spending time with them in the very near future.  especially harry.  it's sad for me that he's gone- i do miss his yearly visits.  

so, i think i'll give myself a bit longer to live in the choosing state before making a commitment & savor the decision.  i can't be in the choosing state but for so long, though- luckily, i can't stand to be without a book for too long.  that was the hardest thing for me in college- finding time to read for pleasure.  all through college & grad school, i always had a book going that i would visit for the 10 - 30 minutes before i fell asleep.  i read the rise & fall of the third reich my freshman year- it took forever...... when you only have 15 or so minutes a day, it does go by slow.  

so, perhaps another 5 - 10 minutes of searching, looking at all the possibilities & then.....  the decision.  & an end to one of my favorite kind of days.   

how barbie changed my life & now she's 50

this week marked the 50th birthday of that american icon, barbie.     she was born on march 9, 1959.  i won't review the details of her birth & coming into being- that story is generally known by now.  the event of her 50th did not go unnoticed by me.  i''ll start from the beginning.  not too surprisingly, i was a "girlie girl" from the get-go.  i never really was a tomboy. my mother says from a very early age (18 months or so), i would get a new dress & i would stand at the top of the stairs & wait for just the right moment to make my entrance, swishing down the stairs when i trusted all eyes were upon me (it's not easy to swish in a diaper- especially a cloth one). barbie is three years younger than i am.  i don't remember the first time i saw barbie.  i don't remember not knowing about barbie, in her black & white swimsuit.  i coveted that doll- nothing else would do.  she was beautiful & sophisticated & boy, did she have the clothes.  & the car.  & the house.  & the boyfriend.  & the best friend.  she had it all.  she was everything i ever wanted to be.  oh, yeah- the shoes- did she have the shoes!

this is a rather longish post- i hope you'll bear with me.  my mother said that when we were growing up, my brother, sister & i had the uncanny knack of making best friends with either only children or children whose parents had more money than we did.  & of course, we wanted what they had.  my BFF was franny.  we met when i was 8 years old & we moved to our house in annandale.  franny was not an only child, but her two brothers were at least 10 years older than she, so might as well have been.  & franny had barbie.  boy, did franny have barbie!  the clothes, the car, ken, the house.  by the way, franny also had white go-go boots.  i wanted white go-go boots- mom said no way.  in my mind, i could see myself strolling through annandale in my ever-so-chic white go-go boots, while passers-by turned their heads to take in such a fashionista.  i would never trip or stumble in my white go-go boots- it was as though i was walking on air.  alas, no white go-go boots ever graced my feet.  such a tragic set of circumstances.

but back to barbie.  we'd play barbie at franny's for hours.  i've posted some photos of some of the more memorable outfits franny had.

i loved cherries jubiliee- that velvet swing coat & pillbox hat.  tres chic!  no wonder ken couldn't stop thinking about her.  barbie was so elegant, no matter what she did.  whether she was a doctor, a lawyer, taking care of skipper, doing fun things with her BFF midge, being a policewoman-  barbie did it all.  

my sister's BFF had barbie as well.  kathy was never as girlie as i was- she could do the barbie thing some. nancy really had the set-up (she was an only).  she had clothes made for her barbie- they were quite couture. nancy's mother bought her underwear at lord & taylor's- my mother thought that was the height of extravagence-  underwear at lord & taylor's & they wrapped each one in tissue, to boot!  anyway, we were surrounded by these incredible barbie collections.  i would go down to franny's house & she would wear her go-go boots & i would just revel in her barbie items & we would play for hours.

there were a few other great things about franny's house.  she had snacks- chocolate, potato chips & soft drinks!  wonder bread!  at our house, we did not have chocolate, we did not have potato chips, we did not have cookies & we did not have soft drinks.  we had kool-aid & my mom always cut back just a bit on the sugar when she made it.  if we did have cookies, they were fig newtons or those raisin bars they used to make with the zig-zag sides.  fruit was available for snacks.  & carrots.  & jello.  & we NEVER had wonder bread.  "nothing but air,"  my mother would say, disdainfully.  she was just ahead of her time, actually.   we didn't fry things in my house, we ate lots of fruit & i can count on one hand the number of times we ate at mcdonald's growing up (& even then, she would bring it home & put it on plates!).  but at franny's.....   at franny's, i could chow down to my heart's content.  we now know that mom did not have a lot of that stuff in the house because she couldn't trust herself with it.  at the time, it felt like deprivation.  & those items were costly, as well.  & although, franny's family was catholic, they ate meat on friday.  i loved eating down there on friday.  this was before vatican II lifted the restriction & made it okay to eat meat on fridays.  at that time, i didn't eat fish.  i didn't like cooked cheese.  there were very few things to eat on friday.  my mother often made tuna casserole- she always made me a separate one with no cheese in it.  (thanks, mom).  or i could go to franny's & have spaghetti with meatballs, veal parmesan, lasagna.  it was a no brainer.  but back to barbie....

for christmas, when i was either 8 or 9,  under our christmas tree that year was..........   tammy???????  we got tammy.  do you remember tammy?  here's a picture of tammy.

tammy had a number of flaws.  i will list them individually.  

1. she was NOT barbie.

2. she had big hips.

3. she had almost no boobs.

4. she came with a dumb little sister, pepper (who names their kid pepper?).

5. she came with a mom- who wants a mom when you're pretending to be an adult doll?

6. she came with a dad- need i say more?

7. she had no BFF.

8. she had big feet & her shoes were almost flat.

9. her clothes were ugly.

10. her endeavors & interests were pedestrian & predictable.

11. her car was lame.

12. she had no pets.

13. her house was.......   non-existant.

14. she had bad hair.

15. she had bad shoes.

16. this is how she sat.  (as my mother would say, the shop was open).

what lady sits with their legs open like that?  tammy is the middle one in the picture above, standing up.  the two below her,  sitting so ladylike, are pepper & pepper's friend, dodi.  

barbie of course, sat like a lady, with her legs together, saving herself for ken.  

now, of course, today, i have empathy for my mom.  we were doing all right & there was not a lot of money to spare.  so she saved where she could.  she didn't see the difference.  how could you not see the difference?

tammy's a farm girl- built for having babies and milking cows.  look at those hips.   & the size of her face.  why does she have such a big face?  was that really necessary for tammy?  & look at that little waist of barbie's & those perky perfect breasts.  & her feet- oh her feet.  now those were feet meant for a lady- feet that can handle the only true shoes....   high heels.  barbie doesn't do flats.

& the shoes... tammy's shoes in the picture above are the red ones.  they aren't even high!  & they're wide. those aren't shoes- those are boxes!

how could you choose tammy?  i don't care if barbie would forever distort & warp my view of what women should look like, cause me countless agonizing hours of feeling ugly & inadequate & working to attain goals that were impossible & unrealistic to attain.  tammy struck at the very heart of my fear-  that i was really a tammy & not a barbie.  i wanted to be a barbie-  in white go-go boots, if at all possible!  & yet there sat tammy.

tammy got some attention- not much.  i'm sure mom was disappointed that we were less than enthusiastic.  & i'm sure we appeared ungrateful.  mostly tammy just sat, with her mom & pepper & dodi, with her legs spread, oh, so wide.

so, with the barbie thirst still unquenched, life went on.  the thirst didn't diminish.  & thus it was that i purchased my first barbie with my own money.  it was the american girl barbie from 1965- the first barbie that bent at the knee.  this is what she looked like.  as it turns out, she ended up being a particularly valuable barbie.  they did not make many of the particular model & she is kind of rare.  i purchased some clothes & accessories for my barbie.  it wasn't very long; however, before i grew out of barbie & turned my sights to some other things.  & barbie was mostly forgotten & went to join the others in the land of forgotten toys.....

..........until..........

....until my niece caitlin, arrived.  caitlin, born in 1985, added color to my world.  i was smitten with caitlin from the moment i first held her & it has continued to this day.  at the time, we were trying to have a child ( we later learned we could not) & i loved that little girl like nobody's business.  it was from caitlin i learned the true power of barbie & was able to witness the depth of my trauma of being denied barbie.

i forget how old caitlin was- caitlin was a girlie girl (of course, since her mother wasn't).  she loved clothes & toys & girlie things & purses & makeup & shoes -  i was her mentor, her spiritual guide to all things feminine. i think she was around 2 1/2  or 3 & we were at mom & dad's house & the barbie & tammy dolls came up in conversation.  they were upstairs in the closet with some of our old toys & kathy & i pulled them out for caitlin.  first out came tammy- caitlin delighted in tammy- taking off & on clothes.  we assisted with dialogue & playing & creating stories.  all was good.  then i said to mom "do you have my old barbie?"  she went up & got it.  i took barbie out of the case & caitlin turned, mesmerized.  there were stars in her eyes.  she tossed the tammy in her hand to the floor, almost stepping on her as she came over to more closely examine the object her aunt mimi was holding.  she never touched tammy again.  the pilgrimage was over- she had made it to mecca.

now- a bit of back story.  this was in the late 1980's.  i was working in the drug & alcohol field at that time.  the adult children of alcoholics (ACOA) movement was just gaining steam.  my colleague & i routinely did presentations to the public to educate them regarding the ACOA stuff & addictions stuff.  the ACOA movement gave birth to the concept of the "inner child", also all the rage at that time.  we needed to get in touch with our inner child & give voice to it.  so these concepts were frequently included in our presentations.  one evening, shortly after the barbie resurrection, susan & i were doing a presentation to about 100 women.  & i was sharing about the inner child concept & getting in touch with our spontaneity & creativity & all that other good stuff.  i shared the story of barbie & tammy & how my still unsatisfied deep longing for barbie had been awakened with watching my niece.  i still wanted a barbie- the child in me did.  i must have been rather compelling as i related this story- for christmas that year (we did the presentation in november), susan gave me a barbie with some outfits.  i almost cried!  

now during all this, kathy & i relentlessly teased my mother about her choice of tammy & how she had damaged me forever.  first the go-go boots & then barbie.  that was the reason i had social difficulties when i was younger, that was the reason i was way overweight by the age of 16 & way underweight by the age of 18.  this explained why i had such difficulties with math.  that was the reason i struggled with inadequacy most of my life & felt like i was different & it was bad that i was different.  if only i had had barbie- all that may have been avoided.  just to save a few dollars?!  what price mental health!!!!???   it was all so clear to me...  how my life might have been so different.  the things i could have achieved- who knows what the true potential was?  (if go-go boots had been added to the mix, i easily could have been the first female president- move over, hilary!) mom had some difficulty feeling adequately guilty, but i know deep down she did- she just couldn't show it.  anyway, that year for christmas, both caitlin & i got barbies from santa claus.   & thus the healing began.....

caitlin & i played barbies for hours.  we purchased clothes & shoes & accessories.  franny gave me her old barbies- this is how i came into ownership of several vintage dolls.  my friend, kate, became enamored with the new interest & began to give me expensive barbies for christmas.  the bloomingdale barbie in nicole miller.  barbie in calvin klein.  barbie in DKNY.  we had so much fun with our barbies.  we got some men for our girls- ken showed up.  we got a vintage ken- again from franny & a more updated ken.  i think the more updated ken just looked gay- which cracked caitlin up to no end.  caitlin loved it when i did different voices & we put on fashion shows for the barbies, with ken as "biff" narrating.    & then......  & then.......   caitlin grew up & outgrew barbie.  & i was okay with it... mostly.  i could let barbie go by then.

because by now i deeply understood that i would never be barbie & i didn't need to be.  it sure was fun to pretend though, for the time that i did.  & i could still play with my makeup & my clothes & wear high shoes & be okay with me.  that is one of the lovely things about getting older.  so many of the things i used to fret about take up so much less real estate in my brain.  certainly i wished i weighed less than i do right now & i will get some of off-  mostly for health reasons, a good portion for appearance, some for the desire to fit into some of my favorite clothes.  barbie had some good lessons, too- family is important.  you take care of your siblings & spend time with them.  it's always good to have a BFF, or two.  one who will always be true & who knows you inside & out & loves you anyway.  & who wears that same size as you.  & will never take your boyfriend.  & it doesn't hurt to have a man (or woman)- a partner in your life.  it's not necessary & it sure can add.  & it's important to be yourself.  barbie has never apologized for who she is.  she doesn't care that she was based on a porn doll from germany.  i also learned that it never hurts to have a really bitchin' ride with a convertible top!  the other thing i've learned is that i have a lot of barbies.  when i went to track them down to take pictures for this post, i was amazed.  i have a vintage midge, the american girl barbie from 1965, the barbie with wigs (we call her chemotherapy barbie) & an older ken.  i have  alot of new dolls.  since i got my first barbie later in life, most of stuff is in pretty good shape.  i have a good number of older clothes in fairly good shape. one day, i'll sell them.  i won't make a bundle- i'm sure they're worth a few hundred to someone.  & it's still fun to look at them- they bring back lots of memories.

i don't want to get too corny here.  i hope barbie has learned some lessons at 50.  i hope she has found some of the comfort of wisdom that i have found.  i hope she has experienced a change in her personal geography- i am much more clear about my own magnetic north & thus rarely get too terribly lost in the maze of choices that reflect values, beliefs, right & wrong actions, priorities.  i hope she has learned to live much more congruently now, as i have- my insides & outsides match most of the time.  i hope she doesn't worry so much about stating her opinion or saying when she thinks something is wrong- i know i have.   i trust my own moral compass so much more now & i hope 50 year old barbie does as well.  & who knows, maybe she'll even be ready to commit & make an honest man of ken.  or maybe she'll just do the oprah & stedman thing.  

so, happy 50th barbie- belatedly (her birthday was march 9)- but it's from me- why would it be on time?  

& thank you, mom for seeing to it that i finally did get a barbie....

book group

tonight was book group.  we meet the 2nd tuesday of every month - well, most every month.  last summer we had to cancel a couple of times due to low (read no) attendance.  i love my book group.  this is the 3rd book group i have belonged to- i was in my first book group for about a year.  it was mostly attorneys & focused on the book very little.  it kind of fell apart after a year.  i cast about for a new group & my friend, susan o, invited me to join hers.  i'm not sure how long i have been going to this group.  i think it's at least 10 years- probably longer.  the group has gone through many membership changes & numbers go up & down.  there are 3-4 core people that were in the group before i was & then a core that has come along since then.   tonight we had 8 attending.  it's a woman only group & we have a great range of women- two MDs, one professor, a scientist (she runs a lab), four therapists (3 social workers & one psychologist), one who works at the art museum, a CPA, a full-time mom & one who just completed her 2nd masters degree & is in the non-profit sector as a developer.  for a brief time last year, i joined another book group- known affectionately as the smart book group.  my other book group took on the title of the "loosey-goosey book group" (& the loosey-goosey group is wildly smart).  now that i think about it, it may have been appropriate to call the other group the "overachievers" group.  that book group actually had a name that we came up with - SOAR- Society of Adventurous Readers.  my other book group doesn't have an official name & i doubt they would feel the need for one.

the smart book group designated a person to lead the discussion.  it was helpful if you had some background on the author & you were expected to have discussion questions prepared to lead the discussions.  the books were decided upon a year in advance (primarily by one person, who went to great pains to make it seem as though the process was a democratic one) & you didn't get a choice as to which book discussion you would be responsible for leading.  a good part of membership of the group was extroverts- be careful about creating a book group out of mostly extroverts.  i struggled to stay in it & made an agreement with myself to give it at least a year - in the year i was in it, i think we only read one book i liked.  finally, they chose to move the book group to a different night & they moved it to the 2nd tuesday of the month, so that made my decision for me. to give a bit of contrast to the structure of the two groups, the loosey-goosey book group comes by its name honestly- for example, we pick our books as we go along & we might make a change from one month to the next.  during the summer, a member may object to a suggested book - that book is really long- too long for the summer.  i want something shorter for lying on the beach.  you gotta love a book group with that attitude!

we have read some great books in this group & some real dogs.  there are the books that evoke lively discussion- two that come to mind are the reader & cliff walk.  the tortilla curtain elicited one of the most frank & honest discussions i've been a part of regarding prejudice & racism.  we read a real mixture of books.  some of us have strong opinions regarding what we read & what we don't read.  a couple members really like science fiction- some of us don't care for it.  then there is the fiction vs. non-fiction divide.  we mix it up pretty well, though.  non-fiction in the past year included the glass castle & the nine: an inside look at the supreme court.

my book group is very accepting.   i've behaved badly & been forgiven.  it's very easy to be direct & honest in this group.  i know i will always have a stimulating discussion on book group night.   this month we read the elegance of the hedgehog.  it was liked by most of the group.  our discussion tonight ranged from the book to unions & their relevance in contemporary american society, to the bipartisanship efforts of obama & the rebuffs he received, to how scary the current economy is & how the effects of it are getting closer to home & to holding onto hope & optimism.  politics almost always comes up at book group-  we tend to be like-minded, so this is not a hot spot.  i talked a little bit about rating mascaras...    & of course, we talked about the book.  one of the big discussions was whether or not we should talk about the ending of the book because there were some members who had not yet finished the book & those of us who had were reluctant to ruin an unexpected ending for them.   the ending was sad & unexpected.  (we decided to talk about the ending after receiving encouragement from the non-finishers).  

i believe there is little need to buy self-help books if you buy good fiction.  i can't imagine what it would be like to be unable to read.  i love nothing better than to fall into a good book, to make new "friends" in the pages & travel to places i've not been before.  i learn much from accepting the invitation to explore the internal landscapes of so many wonderful & interesting characters.  my greatest fear is that i will one day lose my sight.  i know i can listen to books- it is not the same.  i love holding a book, reading the printed page,  touching the pages, toting it around with me.  i love reading & re-reading a passage several times because it is so beautiful & i need to read it several times before i can take it in.  

i've loved to read since i can remember.  i got in trouble in 1st grade for bringing books home from school so i could read ahead.  we were in catholic school at that time & i had a nun for a teacher.  i don't need to say anymore, do i?  my sister & i shared a room & we each had our own side of the closet.  i remember my mother coming up & looking through the closet & finding the books where i had tucked them away.  growing up was not comfortable for me & i experienced a lot of difficulties socially.  books were my refuge, as they were for so many others.  

so i feel grateful to be in such an interesting & stimulating book group & love all the books i've read that i wouldn't have read otherwise- new authors, new types of reading.  i look forward to book group most months- sometimes it's hard for me to feel justified going when i am very, very behind in work.  the week of book group is always a busy one because my investment club meets on the 2nd wednesday of every month, so the two meetings are two days in a row.  the investment club is much more work than book group!  & not nearly as fun- especially these days.  we've watched our portfolio lose at least half its value.

so to my book group- thank you one & all.  i hope we meet for many years to come.  

being my pet- perhaps an option for my next life?

 
this is what sadie does when she doesn't come to work with me.  on tuesday afternoons, i go over to the family counseling center to see clients & sadie can't come to the clinic.  licensing regulations prohibit it.  it's good that she gets a day off, anyway.  and the picture below is what sadie looks like when she comes to my office with me & works.  

i think it's pretty cute when sadie sleeps & her tongue sticks out (as in the picture below).  not a good date look, though!


it is always very dear when i am in session with a client & we are having a poignant moment & it is quiet & reflective.....   & then the a loud & lusty sadie snore resounds.   or she does the quiet yipping that dogs do when they dream. . .

it actually seems to add to the session at times.   

now what is an interruption is when one of my clients starts waving his or her hand, while saying "  sadie-  my gosh- what do you eat?"   i lost my sense of smell in 1989 & haven't been able to smell anything since that time.  so when sadie has a gastric indiscretion, it is only by that reaction that i know it has occurred.  it doesn't seem to bother sadie, though!

now that i think about it, there is not a huge difference between sadie at work & sadie at home.

write about what you know

writing about what you know is a good strategy for honing writing skills.  you have confidence in your material & hopefully won't face a scarcity of content.  one of the things i know is makeup.  i don't know makeup from a technical perspective or a scientific one- i only know what i know from experience & having been a makeup junkie since i was at least 14 years old.  & the one makeup item i REALLY know is mascara.  up until about 1994-95, i never left the house without mascara- not even to go to 7-11.  in 2000, when i began running & training for the marathon, i would run without mascara; however, i did come for our 5:30am saturday runs with blush applied.  a girl's gotta have standards, you know?  it was a big deal to me when i became willing to leave the house without mascara.  i have a friend who swore for years i would get up in the middle of the night & put on my makeup so that i when i woke up in the morning, it was all there.  actually, i just never took it off, i think!

  so mascara.  here is what a typical packing can look like.  this was for a 5 day trip to my sister's.  btw, she made the quilt that they are sitting on- she is very talented.  this was made for my

niece to take with her when she left for college- my sister incorporated pieces of dresses that were favorites from when caitlin was a little girl.  what a beautiful gift to give to her.  

here is another quilt that she made.  i love the colors & the design.  since we're on quilts, i'll brag a bit more on the talents of my sister.  below are two quilts she did.  one is the quilt we gave our parents for their 50th wedding anniversary.  it's called a memory quilt.  photographs are worked into the quilt.  you copy the photos onto muslin & then sew it on.  mom & dad still had the receipt from the hotel in philadelphia where they spent their wedding night- a copy of that is on the quilt.  she did a great job on it.  

                                                                                                  

and this is what she presented to me for my birthday this past year.  on the back of it, she put a photo of us.  i was rendered speechless by this present.  

                                                            

okay- now back to mascara (i am easily distracted by shiny things).  i usually start my packing & say i'm only going to bring 4 or 5 mascaras this time.  but then i look through them & each of them does something different.  i don't use them all at the same time, but i need the properties of one to take care of a problem. 

so i end up with this.....

                                                                          

one thing i have to own up to is that i don't object to "spider" lashes.  some folks don't like them; i'm okay with them.  so, here are some typical problems & the mascaras that can provide potential solutions.

lack of curl-  clinique lash curling mascara, dior show black out, fresh supernova, lancome virtuose

lengthening- fresh firebird, chanel inimitable, too faced lash injection thickening & lengthening

defining- givenchy phenomen'eyes, lancome definicil, fiberwig

volume- MAC plush lash, sephora lash plumper, diorshow iconic, lancome hypnose, benefit bad gal lash,   YSL volume effect cils 

to get at those lower lashes- keven aucoin the mascara

finishing & defining- bobbi brown lash glamour, clinique high definition lashes

best all-around- these are the ones that are staples in my mascara pantry- fresh supernova, bobbi brown lash glamour, diorshow black out, lancome lash primer

there are only two eyelash curlers worth their salt- kevin aucoin & shu umera.  if you want to add length, lash primers are great.  generally, if you use a primer & want curly lashes, you'll need to curl your lashes before you apply the primer.  a primer i like is lancome. i also have used make up forever lash fibers primer- it's a good one, also.   i just got today a chanel primer to try- we'll have to see how it does. primers help with providing length & some volume.  

i was saks today to replenish some makeup- my foundation was down to seeds & stems & saks is the only store that carries it.  i spent way too much money & my guess is it won't change my life.  i always have the secret hope that it will.  the reality is it doesn't even make me look that different.   & yet i do love cosmetics- always have.

so what is really amusing to me is that i am writing this as though people will read it & as though people who care about mascara might read it...   i have a rich inner life.

snow days

so i really enjoyed our snow day this week.  the last big snow we had in richmond was 2003.  i remember this because that was the january we got sadiedog.  most of the pictures the breeder took of her were outside in the snow.  she cam home with us at the end of january.  i was going back to australia with my friend, kate, who had arranged for us to go & do provide some training.  we we were leaving around the beginning of march & i would be gone 3 weeks.  the weekend before i was to leave, i came down with the flu.  it was a nasty flu - i forget how many days i'd been struggling with it.  by saturday, i couldn't even keep water down.  i'd been feeling awful for several days- finally, i asked danny to take me to the ER.  that really alarmed him- when i am not feeling well, i want to be left alone & i just tough it out.  the visit to the ER that night was only the 3rd time in my life i'd gone to the ER.  & it was snowing to beat the band.  i forget how much snow we ended up with that saturday- between 8" - 12".  if you ever need to go to the ER & don't want to wait, go during blizzard conditions.  i remember putting sadie in her crate & going to the hospital.  they were able to get me rehydrated & give me some morphine for the pounding headache i'd had for at least a day due to dehydration.  i was able to leave the following week for australia as planned.  & that was the last big snow i remember in richmond.  

when i was in graduate school, we had a major snow.  january  of 1982- i think the schools were closed for two weeks straight.  my sister worked for VCU at that time & didn't have to go to work for almost a week, nor did i have classes.  it was so fun......  we got a spiderman saucer & whipped down the hills.  there is nothing quite so beautiful as the hush of a new-fallen snow.  i remember how much i used to love getting in the car for the first time in a snow- i would often just sit there & listen to the quiet.    it does seem that we used to have more frequent major snows that we have now.

another major snow i recall is when i was living in va. beach. i know the month & year - january 1989- because my sister came down for the weekend- caitlin was almost 4 years old & daniel was soon to be one .  i had quit smoking about four weeks earlier- i was a 3-4 pack/day smoker & had quit cold turkey.  i was easily irritated! kathy had quit smoking as well- she smoked maybe a pack every two days back then- probably more when she was with me.  virginia beach got about a foot & a half of snow that weekend.  va. beach doesn't even own snow removal equipment- it was pretty wild.  we lived in a townhouse then & kathy was throwing daniel's used diapers out on the patio.  she would eventually take them out of our gate, around the corner & to the trash.  i had a major meltdown- i was so irrational-  it still embarasses me to this day.  she was rather gracious about it, really.  i remember walking up to zayre's (remember zayre's) & buying barbie stuff for caitlin (& i).  i was so sad when she outgrew barbie- because i hadn't & then i had no one to play with!

the mcdaddy of snowstorms, though, was the blizzard of '66.  we were living in annandale (northern va) by then- i was 10 years old.  i remember my brother would take the sled & go to the safeway that was near our home every day & bring back groceries.  we had some pretty decent hills in that neighborhood & it was such a blast to pick up speed down a really hugh hill.  i think we were snowed in about two weeks or so.  i forget how much snow we received that year-  the blizzard only dumped about 12-13" of snow; however, it had been a very snowy january & there was already about 15" on the ground.  the wind gusts associated with the storm were 50-60 mph & white out conditions prevailed.  the airports were closed for 3 days.  there were drifts up to ten feet high.  plowing was futile & there were even some food shortages, requiring some rationing.  thank goodness such a storm occurred when i was living at home- if it were to happen today, my cupboards would be so bare!  whenever richmond predicts snow & there is the traditional rush to ukrop's & kroger, i often don't go because i hate to be thought of as a anxious snow girl-  more than once, we have been caught with only a can of kidney beans (& diet coke, of course) in our larder.  i remember one big snow- maybe 1994?  we walked up to the brook run ukrops every day- it took a while getting through the drifts!

so those are my snow memories that come to mind.  i doubt i shall ever outgrow a snow day!  even when i'm self-employed.  there have certainly been times when a storm is predicted & i check my schedule to see how many appointments will have to be cancelled...  it is so wonderful to have found time- kind of like finding a $20 bill in the pocket of your winter coat the first time you wear it that season.

i hope everyone enjoyed their snow day & that it was relaxing.  we certainly did- it was so nice lying in bed sunday night & watching the snow come down.  & feel grateful for the presence of a home & a warm husband & a warmer (albeit snoring) dog.